“How do I still have it and never read it? Why would they keep it from me?”
I felt such deep despair that Torin pushed me back on the couch and climbed over me, squeezing into the space behind me. He put his arms around me so that he was spooning me, and wrapped his hands around mine. I think his leg was even thrown across mine, on the couch in my front room, the room we barely ever used — and here I was using ‘we’ meaning my mother and father,but they weren’t…and this was their room, but they were gone and now it was my room, and I was sobbing now, something about my big new husband just climbing on me and enveloping me and holding me, right then, meanteverythingto me.
“Why did you…?”
His voice was right behind my ear. “Because ye needed me.”
I nodded, “I don’t even know why I’m crying. I didn’t even really know her. I thought my mother was a whole ‘nother person altogether. ”
“Ye are crying for the loss of that little girl’s mother. I am sure she felt it verra deeply even if ye canna remember it much.”
I reached over, pulled the letter close, and held it in front of my tear-filled eyes.
“You were right, it doesn’t say anything important. It doesn’t tell me where they are, and where to find them.”
“There is a finality tae it, mo leannan.”
“She promised she would come if she could and she never did.”
He nestled his face in the back of my hair and said, “Aye. She dinna, she would hae if she could.”
“I didn’t even know she existed and now I’ll never know her.”
“It sounds as if she loved ye verra much.”
“I wonder what happened to my father? She said he laid down his life for us...”
He unloosed one of my hands, ran his hand down my hair, soothing me, then put his hand back and held on.
“I love you, Torin.”
“I love ye as well, Alexandria. I wish I could protect ye from this heartache.”
“I know if you could, you would.”
“Tis true.”
“Is this what it’s going to be like…?”
“What dost ye mean?”
“To be royal, to have to have so much danger all the time?”
He was quiet for a time.
Then he said, “I daena want tae frighten ye, Princess, yer family did a verra good job of protectin’ ye and ye hae lived a full life without much worry. Ye were saved from havin’ tae ken the danger all around ye, the villains lookin’ for ye?—”
“I hate everyone for lying to me.”
He nodded. “But I think they thought twas for the best, and I believe they thought ye would be apart for a short time. They dinna ken twould be years. I doubt they knew ye were going tae be so long without them that ye would forget it all.”
We were whispering to each other and he was bringing me great comfort.
“Am I a terrible person that I forgot them?”
“Nae. Ye are a regular person, twas nae yer fault, everyone conspired tae keep the truth from ye.”
“I really hate them, everyone who lied to me. And that makes me feel terrible. And I need to call my Uncle, but I can’t bear it.”
