Kit didn’t fancy women. He fanciedme.
I didn’t manage to reply before Tessa added, “Maybe he’s just shy.”
I stirred the berries and sugar furiously. Bubbles gathered and popped while the whole thing turned into a deep plum-colored slurry.
“I meant what I said,” I muttered without looking away from the compote. “And I’m sure.”
“He told you?” Tessa asked.
With his words, with his actions, with his kisses… I nipped my lower lip between my teeth, wondering if I could taste him still.
“Yes,” I said softly.
Tessa flipped her hair, and I frowned, half-convinced she would throw a loose strand into my simmering pot. I was about to ask if she would go sit somewhere out of the way when she chimed in again.
“Then I shall make it my business to change his mind.”
Heat surged into my face, setting fire to the tender feelings I’d had moments before. How many times had people suggested the same of me? Even my mother and father? Merrick had been particularly outspoken about my need to change, and recently thankful to the gods that I would never father children to pass my curse along to.
I wasn’t even sure I wanted children, but the idea that I was unworthy to be a parent stung.
I dropped the spoon and spun toward Tessa. It felt like smoke might seep out my nostrils as I seethed. “It’s nothing that needs changing.”
Tessa held her ground until Rosie grabbed her shoulder and pulled her away from me.
“Of course it isn’t,” Rosie said, her voice calm and steady.
She reminded me even more of Sayla, then. My sister had been the only person in my home who never tried to convince me that I should change my preference of men over women. She sat with me when I wept about having disappointed Father, and when I returned exhausted after a day of being paraded around from one hopeful girl to another.
Ours wasn’t an affluent family by any means, but we owned land, which put us ahead of some. And while I’d often wondered why my parents were so concerned with my romantic choices since I was the second born son and the farm should not have been my birthright, I understood now. They never planned to leave it to Merrick.
Rosie sidled up to me and took my hand, then rubbed my forearm in a slow, soothing motion. “Tess is just hopeful because, if not for Kit, she’ll have to settle for Anders.” She gave a wan smile.
Tessa sighed mournfully and cast her gaze aside. “He’s handsome, but so very stupid.”
I snorted. “Should be a smart match for you, then.”
Rosie cinched her hand around mine. “Penny,” she groaned.
Tessa laughed, a coarse sound that made the hairs on my neck prickle. She moved away at last, heading toward the front door. I started to relax, relieved to be rid of her until she called back.
“You’re only Kit’s recruit, you know. Not his personal guard.” Her dark brows drew a hard line above her slitted eyes. “Perhaps I’ll show him what I showed you last time. A woman’s touch is hard to resist.” Her lips quirked a wicked smile, and her gaze dropped meaningfully toward my groin.
Ripping free of Rosie, I gestured to the knife sheathed at my hip. “If you lay a hand on him, I’ll cut it off,” I snapped.
“Penny!” Rosie shouted, her tone so scolding and startled that I winced.
This was what Kit meant. The anger bleeding out of me. The need to defend this precious thing—this man I so desperately wanted to be mine—in a world that grew increasingly dark and frightening. I’d felt it most poignantly at the icy graveyard, far from home. I'd been lost in the dark and dependent on Kit in a way I’d never depended on anyone. It made me want to cling to him and push away anyone who tried to take him from me.
Merrick had made himself a threat to my tenuous happiness. Tessa had, too, and I hated them both for it. The thought of Merrick’s powerful position within the cult and Tessa’s feminine wiles drew out a side of me Kit said he didn’t recognize.Ididn’t recognize it, either.
In response to my threat, Tessa laughed and pranced toward the door. “Watch out, Rose. It seems your sweet man has a bit of spice to him.”
She left, and silence flooded the house.
I stood, unmoving, and chewed my lip.
Rosie rubbed her palms over her face, then turned back to the counter and the abandoned mixing bowl. She stirred and added a splash of milk without giving me a look or word.
