A serving girl came around and cleared our plates, returning with two flagons of ale at Penny’s request. Exhaustion was creeping up on me, but he seemed to come alive, wide eyes flitting across the room and foot tapping against mine under the table to the rhythm of the music. The little smile turning up the corners of his mouth was almost too inviting.
I didn’t bother trying to pull my gaze away, not caring if anyone here caught me staring. He was the most interesting thing in the room. Nothing else could hold my attention. And with no one from Ashpoint around, I was free to slide my fingers into his on the tabletop and enjoy that small bit of closeness without fear.
Penny was halfway through his ale when the song changed to something even livelier, and the group from the table beside ours tumbled out of their seats to start dancing. He practically dropped his flagon in his haste to put it down and push out of his chair. Standing, he grinned down at me and tugged on my captive hand.
“Kit, dance with me!”
My heart thudded in my ears, and I glanced at the small crowd of people weaving between the tables and each other. I didn’t know if it was the poison or my nerves that made my stomach lurch at the thought, but I sank deeper into my seat and pulled my hand free.
“I’m going to sit this out, but you go ahead,” I said, trying not to notice the flash of disappointment that crossed his features. “I’ll keep an eye on our bags.”
He chewed at his bottom lip for a moment before abarmaid happened by and grabbed his arm to pull him into the fray.
I regretted saying no almost immediately. The pure happiness on his face as he swung the barmaid around and fumbled his way through the steps of the dance was how he always should have looked, and I ached to be a part of it. No self-doubt from Merrick’s constant picking, no fear for what was to come, no worry over who might see us together; just joy and peace and freedom.
I watched him for half an hour, nursing my own ale and what was left of his. I could have watched him all night, but he came to an abrupt stop. The barmaid’s momentum made her stumble against him as he dissolved into a fit of wracking coughs.
I was out of my seat before I knew what I was doing, sweeping Penny back to the table with a cursory apology to the girl suddenly without her partner.
He collapsed in his chair, his eyes watering as he struggled to catch his breath. The serving girl came by with a glass of water, which he gulped down between gasps.
“I think it’s time we went to bed,” I said, pushing the sweaty hair off his forehead and feeling again for the absent fever. “Best not to overdo it.”
He gave a reluctant nod, back to looking as pale and tired as he had that morning.
“Wait here, and I’ll help you up.” I went to the bar to settle our tab, then shouldered both our bags again and eased him out of his chair.
It was a slow climb up the stairs, and by the time we reached our room, we were both more asleep than awake. I piled Penny in his bed and tugged his boots off, hearing a lingering wheeze in his chest as he drifted off. I wondered at what he’d asked about the poison. With him being ill,maybe it wouldn’t do to complicate things with even meager doses of hemlock. But time given for him to recover was time we couldn’t afford to waste.
Tired as I was, my churning thoughts kept me awake until nightmares took their place.
8
Penny
Islept light again, in and out of dreams of the wind whipping through our fields back home and making the crops sway. Dragonflies skimmed the water of the pond at the back of our property, near the clearing where we’d buried Father. For a moment I was lying there beside him, staring up at the wide, blue sky, but one blink brought me back to the dark, quiet room of the inn.
I wondered about Kit. About Edgar and Cait and their whirlwind romance. It felt almost magical, like a story my mother would have told when I was small. I longed to be caught up and swept away, to have a man so taken with me that he would commit himself to me without hesitation. I wanted that man to be Kit.
But. He'd said but.
After claiming he'd never loved anyone in all his life. I didn't think it was possible to make it thirty years and not have someone—or several someones—ensnare your heart. And Kit was handsome. I wasn’t the only person even in Ashpoint who thought so. Tessa remained determined to woo him, and I had the feeling Violettewould have taken an interest if she hadn't already been married. Kit had options, and he'd chosen me.
But. That word remained.
We fancied each other, and he made no secret of his affections when the time and place was right. He still kept a watchful eye on me, full of care and concern, especially lately.
The sickness seemed to be worsening, moving from my throat into my chest and sitting on me like a weight. It had wrapped me up downstairs, where I danced and spun and laughed until all the air was gone. I felt dizzy before the coughing started, rattling my ribs and leaving me sore. I shouldn’t have been tired after sleeping the last two days away, but exhaustion drew down my eyelids in slow, sleepy blinks.
I was more in than out of consciousness when I heard Kit stirring in the bed across from mine, and I pushed up on my elbows to search the darkness.
Sounds accompanied Kit’s movement. Murmurs that weren’t quite words and a sudden whimper that pushed me bolt upright.
“Kit?” I whispered while straining to see as my eyes adjusted to the pale moonlight slanting in through the window.
He tossed again, sending blankets sliding off the edge of the mattress to pile on the floor. The messy heap cushioned Kit’s fall when he rolled out after them a moment later.
I rushed the few feet to kneel beside him as he roused and scrambled to sit with his back against the side of the bed. It was a good thing I didn’t get closer because his movements were jerky and frantic, and he almost hit me when he swiped blindly at something unseen. His hair was a wild tangle, and his cheeks were wet.
