I gestured to the couch, and we settled on opposite sides. “I’ve never been very comfortable here,” I admitted. He’d known as much when we were kids, though he’d always assumed it was because of my father. I let him believe that then and was happy to let that continue. “I know my father’s gone, but I can’t help but feel his reputation hanging over me.”
“You’re not your father, Kit, and everyone will figure that out soon enough. You just have to give them the chance to get to know you.”
Chuckling, I shook my head. “You know I’ve never been so good at that. I like my solitude too much.”
“You’re hardly solitary now,” he said with a faint smile. “I scarcely ever see you without Penny in tow. Though, I suppose that might be as much for his benefit as yours, considering Merrick.”
“I’m doing what I can to keep them apart, though I’m pretty sure Merrick is avoiding him, too.”
Levitt adjusted the cuff of his sleeve around the stump of his right wrist. “Speaking of Merrick,” he said, his tone a bit too cagey for comfort, “he mentioned that you’re quite the weaponsmith.”
I had a passing skill in it, but there wasn’t much need for such things in Forstford. My strengths were in utilitarian items and farming tools. Though, Merrick had made it a habit to lurk about the forge once Penny was gone in the afternoons. I spent most of that time working on Penny’s knife, so perhaps that’s where he got the idea.
“I dabble.” I waved a dismissive hand. “I’ve made a few knives.”
Levitt nodded, and his eyes strayed to where my Penny-menacing knife hung on my belt. “I’d like to see your work someday.”
I pulled the knife from its sheath and offered it to him handle-first. “By all means.”
He examined the blade, but it was clear that his thoughts were elsewhere. After several moments of silence, he handed it back.
“I wanted to apologize.” He let the statement hang long enough that I had to prompt him.
“Apologize for what?”
His lips pressed in a line before he met my eyes and spoke again. “For making you go through the first Oath a second time. I exhausted all options for sparing you having to suffer it again, but it’s beyond my authority.” A thin smile turned up one corner of his mouth. “I always thought you were brave for beginning your Oaths soyoung. I never could have imagined starting them at seventeen.”
“It wasn’t bravery,” I muttered, tucking the knife back into its sheath. “I didn’t have a choice. My father refused to let me wait until twenty.”
His forcing my hand had been the last push I needed to take the risk of running away. The second Oath didn’t concern me, considering I was well-versed in bringing in bodies, but with the threat of the third looming in the near future, it was safer for me to leave than stay. I was resigned to suffering the brand, but what little bravery I possessed was saved for sneaking out of Ashpoint while the rest of the town was celebrating the newest crop of initiates, and for trekking across the province to the only safe place I knew.
A gentle touch to my arm brought my mind back to the present. Concern creased Levitt’s face as he rested his hand on my left wrist.
“I promise, I will never ask the kinds of things of you that your father did.” He squeezed my arm. “I’m just glad you’re back where you belong. It’s good to have you home.”
I didn’t have the heart to tell him that this place never was and never would be home for me.
29
Kit
The morning of the first Oath, I slipped out of the house before Penny woke and walked a circuit of Ashpoint’s outer road while waiting for the market to open. By the time I made it to the central square, a handful of other people milled about, but it was otherwise quiet.
I caught Rosie as she placed the last tray of baked goods on the counter of her booth, and she smiled up at me, polite but guarded. She was clearly wary of me after the ill-fated dinner at the tavern and my curt brushoff of her friend. To be fair, our handful of interactions hadn’t given much space to get to know one another, and I was all too used to being distant and aloof here. It also didn’t help that when Penny had tried to introduce us in the first place, I’d been too distracted by trying to figure out how to approach Levitt about the altercation with Merrick in the stairwell.
“Good morning, Kit. Big day today.”
I gave a weak smile in return. “Certainly is,” I said. “Iwas hoping you might have baked up a few of those almond turnovers.”
She gestured to the tray on the far left of the counter. “I did, indeed.”
“Better give me three of those. Penny ate half of mine last time.”
Her smile warmed at the mention of my recruit, and she giggled. “You seem fond of him,” she said, carefully wrapping the trio of pastries.
The statement caught me off guard. Was that really the impression people got of us? Penny was certainly fond ofme, but I was only ever polite to him in public. I didn’t show signs of any sort of affection. He was my responsibility and plying him with pastries made him easier to manage. Simple as that.
“He’s my apprentice and my recruit. It’s my job to look after him.” My protest made her smile more.
