“Maybe we can look into jobs locally?”
“How? Wear a disguise every day? The risk would be too high, with my family actively looking for me. And if they find me, they could find this place.”
“Okay, never mind local jobs, what about something to do with helping people? When we first got here, he had me looking into this list of people. I eventually realized they were all connected, in that they didn’t really exist, because they were people Cryptid Means had helped to rescue from traffickers, and other horrible, shitty situations. They saved them, gave them new lives.
“Ender has this helpline. Or rather, he has a system set up, it's the same one that kept Seri safe before Severo found him. Surely there is something with that where you could be involved. While it’s likely not above board, and probably is still illegal and questionable, he’s helped a lot of innocent people, and I feel it would be something your morals could accept.”
“Maybe… Regardless of his methods, he has saved more people than he has hurt, and even those he’s hurt, one couldn’t really call them…people. It’s why I disagree with many of my family members who want him and his group gone.” Cyrus let out a groan. “Fucking hell, my family. Who are they to even preach fucking morals to anyone anymore. Ah, fuck, Severo…
“I seem to be fucking up people’s lives lately, but I suppose I always did. I don’t know why my family is so obsessed withfinding me! I can’t think it’s just to find you. I mean, sure, it’s harder to replace a Director of Intelligence and Technology, but there are still people! And me, there are numerous uncles, aunts, cousins, and others that could easily take my place. Like…I’m replaceable!”
“Cyrus Bartholomew Grimm, you are not replaceable!” Killian said sternly. “Where the hell did your confidence go? You have never been this filled with doubt.”
“Aha—I am now.” His voice shook as he spoke, and tears began to form in his eyes, despite trying to stop them. “I don’t know who I am anymore.”
When one tear broke free, knowing full well that Killian hated dealing with them, Cyrus quickly turned his head away.
The Siren cupped his jaw, and he didn’t fight as the man turned his face back towards him. “I hate when people cry. It makes me feel awkward, but you are my fiancé, and I love you. Your tears, I’m fine with seeing.” Killian brushed the first tear away. “Though I do still hate them.”
A sad chuckle slipped past Cyrus’ lips, causing more tears to break free. “Here I am bitching about myself. It’s ridiculous. I was always so sure of my actions, but I was just full of shit. Even now, going on about the crimes he commits, when he actually helps people. Who did I really help? My own ego?
“And what's worse, I am literally feeling sick to my stomach, because I killed a bunch of fucking black market, drug selling, traffickers, who would have helped their bastard boss tear our children from his body in cold blood!”
Killian flinched back. “You had a vision?”
“Yes…”
He wrapped his arms around the Siren when the man hugged him.
“Cyrus, you have to know you’ve done a lot of good too. Don’t doubt that.”
“I’m a damn fool.”
“You aren’t.”
“I am, because if you had asked me if any of my family would dare try to destroy an innocent person just to get their way, I would…idiotically say never.” He pulled back. “I think I had pushed it from my mind that they were already doing this weeks ago. Fates have rules. We have our… Ha, rules…
“My parents were right. The rules were only there to keep us in line, but the truth is…they are readily there to be used against us when it serves the family’s purpose… I feel so lost.”
“You have for months now, haven’t you?”
Smiling sadly, he looked in the Siren’s eyes, seeing them filled with worry. “Yes…”
Killian hesitated for a moment before softly asking, “Do you regret it? Saving me, that is.”
Ender slowly cracked his eyes open, and yawned as he stared blankly. He frowned slightly when he shifted on the bed and found himself alone. But then again, if Cyrus and Killian had been in bed, they’d be wrapped around him and he’d be warm…and he was definitely not warm.
Wincing on remembering just how he had fallen asleep, Ender pushed up into a seated position with a groan. “Going one day without an embarrassing freak-out would be nice.”
Letting his body shift back to his fully humanoid form, he carefully and slowly got out of bed. The dim light in the artificial window told him it was early in the morning.
Leaving the bedroom, knowing where the two men seemed to end up when they were thinking, he navigated his way to his chickens. On reaching the doors, Ender hesitated.
Should he pretend his freak-out hadn’t happened, or…? Grimacing, he cracked one door open slowly, freezing there to listen as he picked up their conversation.
“No!”Cyrus practically yelled without meaning to, more tears falling even as he did. “Never! I will never regret saving you. Just as I don’t regret killing those bastards today. No matter what happens to me now, or how lost I feel in the future, I will never regret it.”
“But you are losing everything, because of me.” Killian’s face crumbled, and he could see tears in his eyes, even though Cyrus knew they’d never fall.
