The very thought terrified Sin. “No!” In his fear, his voice had come out louder than he intended. Hands shakily running through Cecil's hair, he tried to calm himself. “No. You will never see it, it is too dangerous. Promise me that if I ever start to shift, you will run.”
When Cecil said nothing, he gripped the man’s shoulders and shook him. “Promise me, Cecil! Promise me that you will do whatever you can to get to safety. Do not approach. Shoot me or stab me if you have to, but run. Because my beast will kill you.”
Eyes wide, Cecil nodded and whispered, “I promise.”
He wasn’t sure Cecil believed him, but Sin hoped for his sake he did.
Sin took a deep breath. “So, you see, I’m not even close to perfect. I’m dangerous, and it would be safer for everyone to stay away from me.” He gulped. “But, if you’ll have me, I will do all that I can to show you how perfect you are for me.”
Cecil’s eyes became glassy and the man started to tremble. Was Cecil afraid of him now?
“I don’t want to hurt anymore.” Cecil let out a sob. “Please…please…”
Sin pulled him closer. Each plea pained him.
“I’ll do all that I can to make you happy. Give me one last chance,” Sin begged, his voice cracking.
Cecil sobbed harder and nodded into Sin’s chest. He buried his face into the man’s hair, crying alongside him, praying that he would not fail Cecil again.
Cecil briefly thought about tossing his checkers at Benji. The man had beat him multiple times, and while Benji was always smiling, he felt the bastard was looking way too smug.
What stopped him were the memories of Benji clinging to him, bawling his eyes out. Cecil hadn’t even considered the man when he had done what he had. He hadn’t considered anyone.
When his eyes were finally open, all he could do was stare in shock at how much he had deteriorated. Looking back now, Cecil had trouble understanding why he had done it.
That said, the dark thoughts were still there, they always had been. Cecil had just never fallen so far. He’d come close, but…
“Cecil?” Benji called out, a touch of worry in his voice.
He had zoned out again…something he had to work on not doing. Because after everything that had happened, everyone now freaked out whenever Cecil got lost in his own thoughts.
With a shake of his head, he smiled. “I’m fine, Benji.”
Sort of fine. Cecil had found out that after letting the flood gates open, he now cried way too easily. Sin was slowly convincing him that crying was nothing to be ashamed of. There were some other issues, as well. For instance, him breaking down and flying into fits of rage.
But he was taking one day at a time. Cecil was slightly proud of himself, he hadn’t had a meltdown in a few weeks.
Okay, he may have had a mini one last week—he hadn’t thrown anything, though…so that was a plus. And considering he’d had five in the three weeks before, Cecil thought he was doing well.
It was progress, which was all that mattered. At least, that was what his therapist and Sin had told him.
Sin was always unbelievably sweet while Cecil ranted, screamed, and threw things at him. He, of course, didn’t think so during his little freakouts.
Cecil sighed as he once again lost to Benji.
“Play again?” Benji asked.
He snorted and drawled, “I think I’ll pass.”
“Aww, don’t be like that.” Benji pouted.
“You just want to kick my ass again.”
“I’ll tell you a secret about Sin if you play with me.”
That was too tempting to pass up. “It better be something good.”
“Oh, it is.” The man giggled and leaned across the table to whisper in his ear.
