“What now?” Cecil asked, his voice raspy from screaming.
Sin licked his lips. “Now…” He wanted to say they would find Cecil help. But that couldn’t happen unless the man agreed. Forcing him to talk to someone could make things worse. “We will work through this together.”
“But you don’t want me,” Cecil stated flatly.
“But I do. I had just fooled myself into thinking that you would be better off without me. That you would be safer without me,” Sin divulged.
Cecil snorted, but winced right after and rubbed his throat.
“Despite what you think, I’m not perfect, Cecil. Nobody really is. The truth is, even if a perfect person existed, it would not be someone who lies to themselves and to most of the people around them every day.”
His existence was one of constant hiding. But he couldn’t hide from Cecil, not if he wanted this to work. They couldn’t move forward together unless Cecil knew everything.
“Your life is…” Cecil trailed off.
Sin laughed bitterly and finished his sentence, “Perfect?”
Cecil looked away. “Yes.”
He supposed it could look that way from the outside. “It’s not, and never will be. I’m not normal, Cecil. Each day I wake up wondering if it will be the day I lose myself. Wondering if I will end up killing one of my people.”
“You would never do that,” Cecil denied.
“Oh, but I would. At least, my beast would. I had intended to tell you everything the day of my birthday party, but I never got the chance.”
With a voice full of hesitation, Cecil pressed for more. “Tell me.”
Ignoring his fears, Sin forced himself to continue. “There is a creature inside me that shouldn’t exist.” The words came out sounding stronger than he felt. It helped that his beast was quiet. Sin’s despair had driven it away. The only emotion it could handle was rage.
Cecil’s face scrunched in confusion.
“Don’t misunderstand, I am a vampire, and that is all I was when I was born. However, my father was a greedy man. And the king at the time, Kade, was monstrous in more ways than one. A man as cruel as him, knowing the hatred his actions brewed, was always hunting for ways to fortify his powers. So the king began experimenting on immortals.
“My father sold me to him. Kade’s ‘scientists’ were willing to try anything to get the results they wanted. Genetic mutation, drugs, forbidden magic, foolishly altering spells—which often just led to deadly and sometimes explosive consequences. They tried everything.”
“What did they want?”
“They wanted a killing machine, brainless and controllable. So many died in that horrible place.” Sin shivered. While he had been young at the time, he still remembered some of it. “I was five when it was shut down. Believe it or not, the Zaytari groups were quite disobedientback then. I’m sure it infuriated the king when they burned the facility to the ground, killing every single person who took part in the horror.
“However, Kade did not retaliate. I don’t know if it was because he did not want the people or the neighboring kingdoms to find out, or if he felt that his experiments had failed anyway, so it wasn’t worth the trouble. I imagine it was a bit of both. He was experimenting on more than just vampires. Either way, when they came, it was too late in my case. By that time, the beast was already inside me. In fact, it had taken over.”
“But it wasn’t a success…”
“No. I was a brainless, bloodthirsty killer just like they wanted, but I couldn’t be controlled. My beast listened to no one. I remember nothing from the moment it took over. I was told much later about everything that had happened from when they found me, to the day I finally took back control.
“Dante Kozen was the one who found me. Even when I was little, the beast was horrifying. I’m still not sure why he didn’t put me down then and there. I was kept locked away afterward. Which was understandable—I was dangerous. Some wanted to kill me, but they were overruled. It was decided that as long as I never got out, or hurt someone, they would keep trying to bring me back.”
“And they did.”
“Yes, they did. But I had to learn control. I could shift, but I was not a true shifter. I had no bond to cling to, just a beast that filled my mind with bloody images of what it wanted to do. I was a freak. Still am, of course.” Sin smiled sadly. “There was a lot of anger in me. Even more so when I found out that I hadn’t been stolen but sold.
“It did help that my mother hadn’t been involved. But it hurt, because while she could visit me, I couldn’t stay with her as it wasn’t safe. Even knowing how dangerous I was, my mother kept coming back. She was a wonderful woman, you would have liked her, I think…”
Cecil worried his bottom lip. “She died?”
Sin nodded stiffly. “During the riots.”
“I’m sorry…” He went quiet for a moment before asking, “Can I…see it?”
