Reaching his office, he slammed the door behind him and took a deep breath—it did nothing to calm him. The black box containing Cecil’s gift sat there accusingly. His hand shook as he opened it. The band of the watch was made of quality black leather with white stitching around the inner edges, and the face was light gray with a silver rim.
He lightly ran his fingers over the textured leather before flipping it over. What Sin saw shattered what was left of his heart.
Engraved on the watch was everything Sin had wanted, what he had been afraid to say, and what he had given up.
To my irritatingly sophisticated man with perfect eyebrows, I love you – Cecil.
Sin placed his hands on his desk, hunched over and screamed. He knew he needed to get his fury under control, but he couldn’t find his calm. So Sin screamed…he screamed until the tears he held back blurred everything around him. Gasping for air, Sin collapsed into one of his desk chairs.
It wasn’t enough. His anger was still there, intensifying everything. Chest heaving, he slammed his fists on his desk.
“Fuck…” he muttered softly, his voice hoarse. Then Sin said it again, only louder this time. He repeated it again and again, until the word became a bellow of pain that all could hear.
Sin swiped everything off his desk. Pens fell and papers flew everywhere, fluttering in the air. Roaring, he picked up his desk and threw it against the wall. It sounded as if a bomb dropped when it hit, wood flying all around him. The chairs went next.
It was all too much. The pain, the anger, the devastation…he couldn’t handle it. So, Sin gave in. He gave in to the boiling rage inside him.
For the first time ever, Sin willingly let his beast surge forward, not caring if he ever came back.
Sin was done. He felt as if someone had ripped his heart out. After a month and a half without the man he loved, he felt barren. His very soul was reaching for what he had foolishly let go.
No longer would he simply reach, he would grasp with both hands. Sin just hoped it wasn’t too late.
He should have gone to Cecil sooner. But he had been so lost, buried under his own fears and self-loathing that he had let time slip away.
But no more. Sin would bring Cecil back. No, he would stay with him. He would never again put his group before the man who held his heart. Sin had found his home, and he would protect it, even if it meant giving up everything.
Taking in Cecil's appearance, Roth’s stomach dropped. The man was a shadow of his former self. The lad had lost so much weight—not surprising, as Cecil barely ate. And Roth doubted he was sleeping much because the bags under Cecil’s eyes grew each day.
Things were not going as they should. For one, Cecil shouldn’t be here. The lad should be with Sin. Roth wasn’t sure what had happened at the other branch, but he was tempted to pound some answers out of someone—even if he had to get on a plane to do it.
He felt helpless watching the laddie fade away. Cecil barely spoke, if he came out of his room at all. Which wasn’t often, unless for school. Even when he did, it wasn’t as if he did anything. Usually, Cecil just sat there blankly staring at the wall.
Everyone had noticed, of course. Any attempt to snap Cecil out of the depression the lad had fallen in had failed.
Even Benji had failed, though he kept trying. Currently, the two were sitting on the couch next to each other, but Cecil wasn’t even acknowledging Benji.
Something had to be done…if things kept going like this, it would only end badly.
Benji was talking, but he couldn’t hear him. Though, Cecil was sure whatever the man was saying wasn’t important.
He probably should at least pretend to be listening. But he just couldn’t find the energy to do so. Cecil was tired.
What was the point? What was he even doing here? Cecil wasn’t sure he could keep doing this. Every time he spoke, with every smile, he lied.Smile, Cecil, smile. Everyone is watching.
But what was he supposed to do? What was he supposed to say when they asked if he was okay? Should he tell them he wished he had never come here? That he wished Sin had never found him? That for a week Cecil had foolishly held out hope that Sin would come back for him, only to have it dashed by reality? That for the first time in his life, Cecil had thought someone had loved him, only to find out it was all lies?
They wouldn’t want those truths. Especially not to a question that was only asked out of pity. Pity…that is what started this whole thing. They had felt bad for a pathetic, homeless child, not realizing how useless Cecil really was.
Why had he thought life would get better? How could he have thought, for even a moment, that he had some worth?
All those silly, childish plans he had the day he left his father’s home, his attempt to finally be free…hah, what a laugh! Cecil was no freer than he had been back then. The world was crushing him, like it always had.
So again, why did he stay? He should leave…And go where?Cecil thought with frustration.
His hands clenched in his lap. Nothing, he had absolutely nothing.
No…no! He would have his freedom. He was going to escape this internal hell that had always been his prison.
