All Jekyll could do, as Sin continued to rant, was stand and listen. He could not be reasoned with right now. Sin’s deep fears had broken free. Jekyll doubted his boss even realized he had just admitted his love for Cecil.
Cecil stared down at his homework and pretended to work. In reality, he saw nothing…the page was out of focus. It just didn’t matter to him anymore. None of it mattered…not school, not work.
His relationship was failing. Hah—no, it had failed weeks ago. They talked afterward, but not really. Nothing had been solved. All Cecil could do now was wait for it to end, even though he hoped with everything in him that it wouldn’t.
And it was all his fault. Sin was such a good person. He had given him a chance, despite everything, but Cecil had screwed it up. Pushing and pushing until everything fellapart.
Sin ran his hand through his hair in frustration. He didn’t know what to do. Cecil was pulling away from him. He could see it so clearly, just not how to stop it.
Cecil was unhappy. And why would he be happy? Now that he was actually paying attention, Sin saw all that he had missed. His people had shut Cecil out, made it clear that he was unwelcome, and that they thought him worthless.
They still shared a room, but barely spoke to one another. And what was said was mostly out of anger. They slept in the same bed, but never touched. Each kiss was chaste, hesitant, and cold.
Sin found himself questioning every action, wanting to get closer but fearing he would be turned away. He wanted to be with Cecil, but they wouldn’t last if this continued.
What a fool Sin was, confessing his love for Cecil in a fit of fear. Telling Jekyll something he hadn’t even realized. Cecil should have been the first one to know.
Should Sin tell him now? Was it just his selfish need to keep Cecil here that was urging him on, to make him want to stay? But would that fix anything?
Hah, who was he kidding? He knew the solution, what would be best for Cecil. Sin had just been too much of a coward to utter the words. He didn’t want to let go—a tear slid down his cheek.
But that was life. It was full of sacrifices. So if Sin had to give Cecil up for the man to be happy, he would. Instead of trapping him here, he would let him go. Standing, he went to do just that.
Sin found Cecil standing by a window, staring out into the garden. The man was only a few feet away, but it felt like miles were between them.
This was his fault. If only Sin had been around more. If only he hadn’t missed how Cecil was being treated. If he had just understood how his own words, even if a misunderstanding, had hurt his lover.
Sin felt close to falling apart. He wasn’t sure he could do this. Could he really give Cecil up so easily? He had to try one last time. There had to be a way to fix this.
“Cecil, we need to talk.” Sin barely got the words out.
The man said nothing. He moved closer and called out again, “Cecil, please.”
“Go ahead and talk,” Cecil murmured without turning to face him.
“I know we’ve been having troubles lately, but…” Sin trailed off. Licking his dry lips, he tried again. “I know you’re unhappy here.”
Cecil snorted. “Yah think? What was your first clue?” The man’s body became rigid.
Sin reached out. He wanted to touch him, to hold him, to tell Cecil everything would work out—but Sin stopped himself. His touch was not welcome anymore…the time to fix this had already passed, hadn’t it.
How had everything gone so wrong?
In the reflection of the window, Cecil saw Sin reach out for him. The hand got closer. And his mind screamed what he couldn’t bring himself to say.
Please, touch me.Please, hold me. Please, show me you still want me.
But…Sin’s hand fell away. Maybe he couldn’t bring himself to touch him. They were done. No, they weren’t done, they had never been anything to begin with. Sin didn’t want him.
They stood there in silence. They were so close together, but they might as well have been in separate rooms. Cecil wasn’t sure what would happen now. But he knew whatever they had been doing…it was over.
“I know you don’t want to be here anymore, Cecil. Maybe it would be for the best if you returned to Bellfall,” Sin whispered.
His heart skipped. “If that’s what you want. When do you want me gone?”
“Cecil, this isn’t…I want you to be happy. You’re not happy here.”
Happiness, hah, what a joke. Happiness wasn’t real. And in the off chance that it existed, it never lasted. None of it had been real, none of what he felt…what he felt didn’t matter. Sin had never trusted him, but then why would he? Cecil had tried to steal from him when they first met.
