To be honest, that pity was probably the most consideration anyone had ever had toward him. And wasn’t that just pathetic? If he was one for crying, he would probably be bawling right now. But Cecil wasn’t, and he hadn’t in years.
If there was one thing life had taught him—besides that the weak always lost—it was that crying was pointless and would change nothing.
Cecil didn’t know why, but his gaze was drawn to the leather roll on his dresser.
Licking his lips, he found himself walking over. And as he stared down at the battered rolled up leather, an urgefilled him, one that had never been there before. Or maybe…Cecil had just never noticed it.
If he had wanted to see Drop, to tell someone—even if it wasn’t real—about all the pain he felt, he had just done it. Cecil had never questioned his reasons.
His hand shook when he reached out, his heart thudded in his ears, and he hesitated. Did Cecil need this? He was an arcadian, so him creating arcanids was normal. Though, what he was doing with it wasn’t. It wasn’t for healing, or any of the other various things arcanids were used for. Drop had no purpose, other than to exist and pretend to be alive.
But what was wrong with that?! Cecil wasn’t hurting anyone. He wasn’t even hurting himself, the cuts were always shallow.
God, he felt like a drug addict trying to tell himself that there was nothing wrong with getting high.
Shaking his head at his own foolish thoughts, he took a calming breath. It wasn’t an addiction, he could stop and had stopped. Cecil had gone weeks without doing it. In fact, he hadn’t made Drop since the first week he had been here. There was nothing wrong with what he was doing—nothing at all.
Cecil forced himself to ignore his inner turmoil and unrolled it. The blade revealed glistened like a diamond, and to Cecil, it was just as tempting.
Benji examined Sin out of the corner of his eye. His boss looked so sad. Well, his expression was more empty than sad, but Benji knew it was a front. Sin missed Cecil.
Something had happened between the two men. Cecil had been holed up in his room for the past two weeks. Hell, he even ate his meals in there. He wouldn’t let Benji in, and he refused to talk.
Despite not knowing exactly what happened, Benji knew it was between them because they both seemed so out of it. And they shouldn’t be, especially not today. December 14th—the winter solstice celebration was tonight!
So Benji was going to fix this—somehow. Because it was a holiday, and everyone was going to be jolly, even if he had to force them to be. And it wasn’t just because of what day it was. After everything Sin had done for him, he wanted the vampire to be happy. Sin deserved it.
Benji hadn’t exactly figured out the details yet, but he would fix this.Even if I have to get help from my number oneenemy,Benji thought with frustration as he eyed Roth across the room. Gods, he hated his stupid, hot face!
Sighing, his gaze went back to the TV. Some First Realm movie about the holiday called Christmas was playing. He would give this to them…the lights were pretty. For the most part, it had been good, though he had only been vaguely paying attention. But then the actors did something that gave him an idea.
Smiling widely, Benji glanced back at Roth, who was sitting in the corner of the room talking to Sin.
“Idon’t know what to do, Roth,” Sin groused.
At that moment, the monstrosity in his mind tried to use his distress—his anger—to break free. His nails began to lengthen into claws. Clenching his hands into fists, he dug them into his palms, drawing blood. The pain was enough to push the creature back. Sin felt it roar at him, but as he most often did, he ignored it. He had enough to deal with right now.
However, it felt more present than it should have, telling him he really should shift soon. If it were up to him, he’d never let it free. But Sin could only deny it for so long. The need to change would eventually override his determination to keep it locked away. Sin honestly thought his hatred for it should be enough to stop it.
“Mm, the laddie is as stubborn as ye are,” Roth drawled, staring pointedly at Sin’s fists.
“I am not stubborn,” Sin snapped, whileforcing himself to relax his hands. His palms were now slightly slick with blood…blood that his people would smell.
Spells that stopped words from carrying did nothing for smell.
“Ye are when it comes tae certain aspects of yer life. If ye were nae, ye would have bedded Cecil already.”
“Roth!”
“Well, it’s true.”
“It would not have been appropriate. He is under my care…”
“And now?”
“Now…I…” Sin’s shoulders sagged. “I am afraid my emotions for him have moved past the point of caring about such things.”
“Ye miss him.”
