“Yet…you fear them, don’t you?”
“I don’t fear Shadow Dwellers.”
“You didn’t fear Severo when you met him?”
“I feared what him being there meant, and what he could do.”
But he had, hadn’t he? When he first met Severo, he had feared him. Not just because of why he was there, but because of what he was. He had also thought maybe the man had been in on everything, and just a good liar. And he had feared the ways Severo may attack him.
“You never feared him for what he was?” Lance pressed.
“I… I don’t know… Maybe… But he isn’t… He hasn’t hurt me. At least, never on purpose.”
“Because Severo, even though he is a Shadow Dweller, is a good person. Isn’t that right?”
“Yes… Severo is a good person. Too good. I have…so much to thank him for. I don’t think I could pay him back for all he’s done for me in this lifetime… I wish I hadn’t even thought of using him as a test subject.”
Though, he supposed, it had been Severo who had suggested it from the very beginning.
“You are worried,” Lance drawled.
“Of course! I mean… no. I mean, yes!” Seri groaned.
Skya reached up and patted his face. “Dah-Dah.”
He smiled down at her. She was looking back at him and he kissed her forehead.
“There is nothing wrong with being worried about people you care about, Seri.”
“But what if…I’m too worried?” he murmured softly.
Lance hummed. “It’s…not odd for feelings to develop when two people are placed together in times of high stress.”
“But it’s just me feeling something…and let’s be real, I’m not free to feel anything for anyone…”
“And why not? You aren’t a robot, Seri. It’s okay for you to feel more. Even if you are having those feelings alone. There is nothing wrong with you having them.”
“It’s wrong for someone like me to even consider it. I’m a single father, with a truck load of unresolved mental problems. I fear his very abilities, because you are right, I am afraid of what he is.
“Despite all the help he has given me, any time I see him move a shadow, my heart races with fear. On top of all that, there is a psychotic criminal looking in every corner trying to find me. I don’t have a right to want for more than he gives me. And he has given me a lot. He does a lot. And, AH, it’s so annoying. How can he just forgive anything I do? He literally is so understanding, it makes me want to scream.”
“Seri…having mental health issues does not mean you don’t deserve to be happy, with someone by your side. As long as everyone is honest, and upfront about the realities of the issues, you can have a healthy relationship that will grow with you as you heal from your traumas. Though I won’t sugar coat things and say you will ever be one hundred percent better, as there may always be moments where you are triggered and react. But again, that doesn’t mean you can’t live your life to the fullest. While you don’t need a relationship to have a fulfilled life, I don’t want you to decide against one because of some misconceived notion that you don’t deserve it.”
“I…”
“I’m going to give you some homework. That I expect you to do. I want you to write down what you want for yourself after all this is over. It can be vague ideas, or certainties. Just make a list of what you want for your life.”
Severo glancedover when Seri came out with a basket of clothes in one hand against one hip, and Skya in the other. He still couldn’t really move, but the pain was less than earlier. Though, he may have passed out for a moment there…
“You did laundry?” he asked.
“I checked on you before doing it. You were asleep. Your vitals are still elevated, but nothing has spiked. Your temperature is odd though—it keeps going up and down.” Seri walked over, setting Skya down in her playpen before taking a seat on the floor by the couch with his basket. “How are you feeling?”
“Still in pain, but nothing too horrible.”
Okay, it was horrible, but he was pretty sure he wasn’t dying. At least, he hoped he wasn’t. He’d feel really bad if he died. Because he knew Seri would blame himself. And yeah…he really wasn’t ready to die…
“Are you lying to me?” Seri narrowed his eyes at him.
