“Yeah, totally, shoot!”
I stare at his face on my phone screen, feeling restless and anxious to bring this up. “Did you have doubts before you married Rosa?”
I know the answer, but I need to hear it from him. Only then can I compare his situation to mine and discover if my worrying makes sense.
Brian nods. “Yes, and don’t tell Rosa I said this, but I think everyone about to get married has doubts at some point. It’s a big commitment, with the forever aspect and all.” He frowns meaningfully, and I take a moment to inspect his expression. He and my other brother, Barry, look like each other a lot, whereas I look more like my sister, Kim. I suppose that works out; she’s my favorite. But she’s also younger and less experienced than Barry and Brian regarding this topic, so not the right person to ask for advice.
“Why do you ask?” Brian asks. “Are you not sure if you’re ready for it?”
I think about my answer, then nod. “Well, yes. But I’m also not sure if he is.”
Brian looks a little lost for words. “Oh, that sounds rough. What makes you say that?”
Several things, actually. “Just now, we had our first fight, and instead of talking it out with me like I believe he should have, he went to the club because he said he needed to think.”
A deep frown appears on Brian’s face. “Think? At the club? Who even does that?”
“I don’t know. Maybe us back when we were twenty-one?”
“Nah, we didn’t think much back then at all. Twenty-one-year-olds are dumb.”
Now it’s my turn to frown. “Are you forgetting Luc’s twenty-one?”
He laughs and bites his lip, looking a little guilty. “Oh, oops, right, sorry. Sometimes I forget you’re marrying a college boy.”
I shrug. “His age doesn’t matter. I love him and wouldn’t want it any other way, but it requires some adapting. For one thing, I have no interest in going to the club as often as he does, especially not during our first fight.”
Brian nods, understanding. “So that’s why you’re questioning whether he’s ready to get married?”
“Well, it’s not that I mind him going to clubs and partying. I knew what I was getting into, dating a twenty-one-year-old, and I’m happy to go with him occasionally, but...” The words of Luc’s father replay in my head.
“Some people have that in life; they’ll never amount to much, but they have a partner who’ll save them from failure. That applies to my ex-wife, but I had hoped it wouldn’t apply to my son.”
Strange that his father would say that about him. Is it because he perceives Luc in a certain way, as how he was in his childhood, or is there more truth to it than I know?
“I guess we’re entering this relationship on different levels. I’m marrying him because I love him and I’m ready to settle down. But sometimes I wonder if he’s marrying me because he wanted to escape his life and I’m just the easy way out. I have money and I want to make him happy all the time. So, what if that’s all there is to it for him?”
My brother’s face turns even more serious, judgmental almost, and because of it, I’m starting to doubt whether I should have told him this.
“That sounds pretty bad. If there’s even a chance you’re being used, maybe you should postpone the wedding, Cody. When he comes back from the club, if he’s not drunk, tell him what you just told me. Tell him you want to wait.”
“But I don’t want to wait,” I reply, and the words surprise me. “I want to marry him, and I want him to marry me for the right reasons.”
“Then you’re going to have to talk to him about that. And see if that’s the case. But Cody, this is your life too, and if you don’t take precautions, you could lose everything. Now, I don’t know Luc well at all, but this sounds dangerous. Be careful what you’re getting into.”
I shrug. “I don’t know, maybe I’m just exaggerating. Maybe if you knew him, you’d tell me I am.”
“I don’t know, man, just talk to him. And if you’re not sure, don’t go through with it. Better safe than sorry.”
I nod, cursing mentally. This conversation didn’t do for me what I hoped it would, and even though he thinks differently, Brian didn’t exactly help. But I’m not going to tell him that.
“Alright, I’ll do that. I’ll talk to him, then decide. Thanks for listening, Bri.”
He nods. “Anytime, man.”
“And don’t worry, okay? Don’t take this as a sign that I don’t want to get married or that Luc’s not right for me.” I flash him what’s hopefully a reassuring smile. “It’s probably just pre-wedding jitters.”
“Yeah,” he gives me a faint smile back, unconvinced.
