I give his arm a squeeze and rest my head on his shoulder. I wish I didn't have to leave tonight, that this place was home, and I could just stay here until the time comes for me to crawl into bed with him. Into our bed. That would be so great.
Time seems to pass faster now that I have him close to me and I become even less focused on the show. Before I know it, the episode has ended and silence fills the room as the end credits show. The silence can only mean one thing: the weather cleared up. That's probably my cue to leave. Damnit.
“Uhm,” I start, giving his arm a light squeeze and lifting my head. “It sounds pretty quiet outside,” I tell Cody. “I think the rain stopped.”
“Oh,” he replies, surprised, his head turning to the window. I wonder if he’s just as unhappy about it as I am. He remains silent for a moment, listening for sounds of rain, and then says, “I think you’re right. I suppose I’ll go check if your clothes are dry.”
Was that a note of disappointment I heard? I hope it was.
“You can, but I was actually wondering if I could borrow your sweater for a while longer. I don’t have a jacket,” I tell him. That part is true, I don’t have a jacket, but I’m also not ready to say goodbye to the warm sweater that smells like Cody.
“Okay, sure, but... you could just let me give you a ride, you know. You don’t have to be cold.”
I can’t help that my flirty side takes over, and I give him a wink and a nudge on the arm. “If you’re that unwilling to say goodbye to me, you can just tell me, big guy. Because I’ll certainly miss you until I return tomorrow.”
Cody opens and closes his mouth again. His expression tells me he’s at a loss for how to respond. “I’ll go check on the dryer,” he eventually decides on, and it saddens me.
I nod, disappointed, and Cody stands up to leave the room. Did I do something wrong, I wonder? Should I have accepted his offer to give me a ride? The thing is, I’m not sure what the right move is here. I want him to know I can take care of myself, but then again... Cody can absolutely take care of me if he wants to. Did I mess this up already?
Unfortunately, the only thing standing between me and leaving is whether Cody’s dryer is finished running. Is it bad that I’m hoping the machine breaks so that I’ll have no choice but to stay here? Of course, deep down I know it won’t do any good. Cody would probably just lend me some more of his too-big clothing. Why did I decide to go home in the first place? What was I thinking? Oh, right, it’s because I need a place where I can stay for more than just a few days, and right now, moving back in with my dad seems like my only option.
Cody comes back, carrying my clothes. “They’re dry. You want me to put them in the bathroom so you can put them on?”
I shake my head, push the blanket off, and walk toward him, not wearing pants. I take my jeans from his arms and say, “No need. Nothing you haven’t seen before, right?” Before he can reply, I give him a smirk and start to wiggle myself into my jeans. I wonder if I can drag the moment out to see if he’ll check me out again, and for how long I can pull that off. I don’t want to take things too far accidentally.
But also, Cody is still holding onto my shirt. I glance at it. “Actually, I’ll leave that here just in case I need it another time.” I wonder if that’s crossing a line? By suggesting that I might need a spare shirt at his house, I’m clearly hinting at having to change clothes at some point or staying here for several nights.
But Cody only nods and puts the shirt on the armrest of the couch. Strange... did he miss the meaning of my statement?
“Okay, I’ll put it in the closet,” he replies. I then notice that his cheeks have reddened slightly, and I wonder if that means he understood after all. But he sticks with his approach, quickly changing the topic. “Will you text me when you’re home?” Cody says, his voice steady. It’s so different to when he walked in on me in the bathroom. “You have my number now.”
I feel conflicted. Part of me thinks it’s adorable that he wants to know I get home safely. It makes me want to leave even less. But on the other hand, why didn’t he react when I stood in front of him, wearing his sweater and no pants? Or when I said I’ll leave my shirt here? A lingering look or a change in tone would have been enough, but he merely blushed. Has the spell worn off already?
I don’t know the answer to that, but I’m now fully dressed in his sweater and my jeans, and since there’s no sign that the rain has continued, I can’t postpone this any longer. Now, the question arises: should I do something to say goodbye? Hug him? Kiss him on the cheek? Or lips?
Eventually, I decide that a kiss on the cheek can’t hurt, and I step toward him, lean in, and place my lips on his skin. He tenses up, but only for a moment. Then he lightly places his hand on my back, the touch warm and comforting. I let my lips linger for several seconds, savoring his touch. I can’t help feeling like he’s doing the same, but I don’t want to overstate, so I pull away begrudgingly. When I do, he gives me a faint smile, and I say, “See you tomorrow, Cody. I can’t wait.”
“See you tomorrow. Text me when you’re home,” he says again, and my stomach flutters at how important it seems to him. Maybe things can still work between us. There’s nothing I want more, so here’s the problem: I don’t know if I have it in me to wait much longer...
Chapter 20: Cody
I’m pretty sure Luc is trying to seduce me, and if he isn’t, he’s doing a damn good job anyway. Having him in my house, parading around half naked, is more than enough to scramble my self-control. Just great. As if things weren’t complicated enough already.
Does he realize how little chance I have of resisting him? My head keeps insisting I should wait, keep my distance, be sensible. But my body? It’s already picturing what would happen if he decided to go all in... the two of us in my bedroom, my excuses dissolving while I tell myself his apology was enough.
But is it really enough? Luc’s been trying hard to prove himself, but maybe I’m only seeing what I want to see. Honestly, why does a twenty-one-year-old guy whose main talents are acting confident and baking cakes have me wrapped around his little finger? What is happening to me?
Maybe it’s official; I want love. I long to love and feel loved, and I want Luc to be the one I can share that with. Perhaps some part of me always thought I would find love in Europe, but my sensible side deemed it a romantic fantasy. It’s just too typical, isn’t it? Falling in love with someone while working in an old European city. Perhaps it is, but I believe it’s actually happened to me.
That could be why my brain turns to mush whenever he’s near. I need a voice of reason, and I need it now. There’s only one person for that, someone who always sees the worst in people: Joyce. She’ll bring me back down to earth. At least, that’s what I’m hoping for as I open the chat app and start typing.
Cody: Guess what? Luc apologized. I let him into my house... and now I’m in
trouble.
Joyce replies almost instantly. It’s like she’s been waiting for this moment, ready to swoop in and keep me from caving. And honestly, she’s not wrong.
Joyce: No kidding. Is he still there?
