“I don’t know,” I admit, and I turn and lean into him more, burying my head in his shoulder. “She sounded mad, likeIwas the one who betrayedher. And I... I just...” I blow out a sharp breath, unable to continue. I have no fucking clue why she’s acting like this.
“She didn’t report it stolen, right?”
I shake my head. “Not that I know of. But she didn’t really say she wasn’t going to, either.”
“She shouldn’t be allowed to do that,” Alex spits out, and there’s a venom to his voice that I’ve never heard from him before.
“Do what?”
“Threaten you with that asshole,” he says. “Isn’t there a restraining order or something?”
My chest hurts, and I close my eyes, still leaning into him. “No. It expired or whatever when I turned eighteen.”
“Dammit.”
“Yeah.”
He’s quiet for a minute, though he keeps holding me tight, and then he says, “We can stop by the ATM now. I have the money. We can pay for the car and be done with her. Then she’ll have no more hold over you. You can pay me back whenever. It’s not a big deal to me.”
“No. No, I can’t—”
“That’s actually one of the things I wanted to talk to you about tonight,” he cuts in, and that feeling that my stomach is knotting up intensifies.
I pull away and wrap my arms around my midsection, shaking my head. “I’m not taking your money, Alex.”
“It’s really not a big deal—”
“It is to me!” I don’t yell, but I do raise my voice. And I hate myself for it. He’s just trying to help. I sigh deeply. “I’m not taking your money,” I repeat, and I look up to the water again. “She’ll just have to wait until Friday, like we agreed.”
Alex is silent, and my stomach aches with the thought that I’ve pushed him away when all he was trying to do was make me feel better and find a solution. Hell, I don’t even knowwhyit’s a big deal to me. My jaw trembles, and I bite my lower lip as I glance over at him. His shoulders are tense, and he’s staring off across the river, one hand rubbing at the back of his neck.
He must sense that I’m looking at him, because he turns his head toward me and gives me a tight smile. “I want to help.” He blinks, and his smile turns into a frown just as I look away, back to my hands. “And I want you to know we’re in this together, Nico. You don’t have to do this alone. I have the money. It’s just sitting there in my account. If it’ll save you from worrying all week long, or—or from having to see that asshole again, I don’t understand why you won’t let me help.”
It’s logical, like he usually is. So I’m not sure why I can’t just nod and accept it.
I got thrown into this—this life I didn’t expect. Before all the shit hit the fan with my mom, I planned to stay there through the summer, save my money, use the experience I gained at the library to get a permanent job. Then maybe I’d have enough saved to move out, rent my own apartment, be on my own.
Instead, I’m living off the generosity of Alex and his mom. Still only forty dollars to my name. Still rewashing the same set of work clothes every night. Driving an uninsured car and relying on Wi-Fi signals to connect my cell phone.
“You’re already helping me so much,” I say through gritted teeth.
He moves closer, and his hand finds my back. I close my eyes at the gentle touch. It feels good.
“I want to help. Besides, you didn’t ask for any of this. None of it is your fault. You shouldn’t have to shoulder it all alone.” He rubs up and down my back with smooth strokes, and I shudder as I shake my head.
“I just want her to honor her word,” I admit, and my voice breaks as the tears start to fall. “She said Friday. I-I shouldn’t have to—I shouldn’t have to pay her now. It’s not right.”
“I know,” he says softly. “I know. It doesn’t make sense. But, Nico, she’s not doing things that make sense right now. Whatever her reason, she’s not being honest or predictable or caring. What if she...” He trails off, and I feel him move even closer until his arm is around my shoulders.
What if she actually sends Patrick this time?
Is that what he was about to say?
I let him pull me up against him, but I’m trembling. My hands close into tight fists as a scene suddenly plays out in my head.
Patrick showing up at the library, demanding to see me. His beady little eyes dark with rage as he pushes past Caitlin, back into the office where I work. Hate-filled words leaving his mouth as he knocks down a pile of books on his way over to me. Then pain as he grabs my shoulder and throws me back against the wall. His fist slamming into my face, just like—
“Fuck,” I hiss, covering my face with my hands. I can barely breathe, and my heart feels like it’s about to leap right out of my chest. “She wouldn’t...”
