This morning was bad enough. Her messages from the last three days were bad enough. I don’t even know what I’d do if she messaged me with more accusations or demands.
But I guess it’s my lucky day after all, because the name that pops up on the screen isn’tMomorUnknown Numberor anythinglike that.
It’sAlex. And there’s a series of several messages, the first one just a tongue-out emoji. I pull my legs up onto the bench to sit cross-legged, and my smile grows slowly as I read every word.
Alex (9:38 a.m.):bro i just woke up
Alex (9:40 a.m.):wut the heck with this heat
Alex (9:45 a.m.):so (stay with me here, this is going to get long) dr ellis emailed me back
Alex (9:55 a.m.):sorry, mom called me to help her get something down from the hall closet
Alex (9:58 a.m.):so long story short, dr ellis wants to connect me with a visiting professor who will be at stanford for the next two years. theyre collaborating on a project and this other professor has a background in supermassive black holes and is *now* studying dark matter as well (which is why theyre coming to work with dr ellis for a time)
Alex (10:02 a.m.):he asked if he could send them our email communications
Alex (10:03 a.m.):im freaking out here. i told him yes of course
Alex (10:04 a.m.):thats not crazy, right? cuz now im scared my ideas are dumb. im just a kid, i dont know anything =P
I can almost hear his voice in that last message, and despite all of his uncertainty, it makes me feel even better. The most recent messages he sent were just about twenty minutes ago.
Alex (12:02 p.m.):tonight. u and me. harleys. im buying
Alex (12:02 p.m.):theyve got a new mint chip flavor and u have to try it
I can’t not laugh. Alex and his obsession with mint chip. Heknowshow I’m going to respond, too.
Nico (12:26 p.m.):Nothing will ever beat Harley’s chocolate peanut butter brownie
I hit send and wait for only a few seconds before his reply comes back.
Alex (12:26 p.m.):i dunno man. mint chip.
Alex (12:27 p.m.):u on lunch?
My stomach growls, and I glance down at my sandwich. I should eat.
As soon as I have the thought, I feel nauseous, and I swallow back the emptiness in my stomach as I click on Alex’s name to call him. The phone rings just once before he answers, and the sounds coming through the phone speaker are immediately loud and jarring.
“Hey, Nico, one sec.” Alex sounds flustered or something, but I answer with a quick “okay” and wait. There are some other muffled sounds, and then I hear Alex’s voice. After another moment, the background noise fades a bit. “There, hopefully I can hear you now.”
“Where are you?” I’m trying to remember if he had something planned for today, but if he told me about it, I can’t recall.
“Lando’s Lanes,” he says, and as though he needs to clarify, he quickly continues. “I’m here with Jenna, but it’s super loud and busy. We almost didn’t even get a lane. They’re having some tournament that’s taking up over half of the lanes, and there’s music and stuff.”
“Oh. Right.”
Lando’s Lanes is the bowling alley he and some of his other friends like to go to in Omaha. I’ve been once. Never again. I forgot he was going with Jenna today. I try not to let my stomach sour at the thought of him spending all afternoon with her.
My sandwich looks even less appetizing now, and I gaze out over the lawn as he starts talking again.
“How’s the project going? The donated books, right? That started today?”
“Yeah. It’s, um, it’s good, really. Distracting.” I have the sudden urge to tell him about my mom’s texts, to admit to him how much I’m struggling, because I could sure as hell use his reassurance and calmness and logic to keep all my panic at bay. But he’s out. WithJenna. And that doesn’t really seem like a topic to bring up right now. So instead, I force a laugh, which I hope he hears as genuine. “There are thousands of books, you wouldn’t believe it. Some of them are weird, too. One of the boxes I just sorted through had a complete box set of how-to books on ‘the Japanese art of decluttering.’”
Alex laughs, and that sound alone makes me glad I called him. I close my eyes and let the warmth of his reaction wash over me.
