We pick our way down a pile of rocks, Nico following behind me. His house is visible in the distance, just beyond a sparse stand of trees. When we reach the bottom of the rocks, we stop and put our shoes back on, then we continue in silence.
There’s an old, beat-up light-blue truck in the driveway, and as we get closer, I can hear music coming from inside the house. Some loud, crass heavy-metal rock stuff with lots of cursing. Nico walks a little slower, and when I glance over at him, his shoulders are tense.
“I thought he wasn’t going to be home until later?” I ask quietly.
Nico shrugs but doesn’t say anything.
We stop in the middle of the driveway, dirt kicking up as my shoes scuff into the ground. I hate this part the most, and I think he does too.
“Text me later,” I say, and he knows what I actually mean.Text me. Let me know you’re okay and that that jackass hasn’t hurt you more.Or at least I think he knows. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Yeah.” Nico swallows hard and then shuffles off across the driveway toward his house, not looking back.
And I turn and shove my hands into my pockets as I start on my way back home.
Five years later . . .
Chapter One
Nico
Idon’tknowwhyI let Alex bring me here.
Tomorrow’s our high school graduation, and so we’re supposed to be celebrating or whatever. But I hate parties, and he knows it. There are too many people, and everything’s too loud, and it’s impossible to walk anywhere without bumping into someone. The whole place smells like weed and alcohol and sweaty teenagers.
And it’s even worse because nearly as soon as we got here, he took off. I’m not even sure where he went. Maybe to go find Kimmy or Leela or that new girl who’s been hanging off of him all the time at school.
My stomach sours at the thought, and I risk a quick glance up toward where he disappeared to however long ago, hoping to catch a glimpse of his bright-blue hair. At least he makes himself easy to spot. But he’s not anywhere I can see.
The tickle of anxiety in the back of my mind just gets worse, and I feel a little sick.
I lower my eyes back to my clasped hands as my knee bounces up and down. Maybe I should just leave. Shoot him a text and head out. He can find a ride home later from someone else. I’m not the only one here who’s sober. Maybe.
I’m just about to stand up and figure out how to escape when I hear my name. But it’s not Alex’s voice calling me.
“Hey, hey, hey, Nico!”
My stomach drops. I look up, but only because I need to prepare myself.
A few feet in front of me, Brandon Jones pushes his way through the half-drunk crowd, dragging his latest girlfriend along with him. Nya, I think her name is. She hangs on his arm as he stops in front of me, and I can smell the alcohol wafting off of them. It’s almost as rotten as Brandon’s sneer.
He laughs as he stumbles to a stop. “Nico the Freako. Didn’t expect to see you here. Where’s your other half? Off with someone who’s actually willing to put out?” He laughs again, then takes a long swig of his drink before leaning over and whispering something into his date’s ear. She glances at me and giggles.
I don’t answer him. He’s not looking for an answer anyway. He’s just another asshole, like so many of the kids in school, and he’ll just interpret anything I say in some weird, fucked-up way.
From the other side of the room, the music kicks up a notch—the volume louder and the bass shaking the walls. Cheers go up from the crowd. Thankfully, Brandon doesn’t seem to care to waste any more time talking to me. He sneers at me again, then starts bouncing with the music, pulling his date away with him as they head back into the fray.
I push myself deeper into the small couch and look back down at my hands, trying not to panic. But I feel a familiar chill settling in me, my fingers tingling, as my heart starts to race unevenly.
Where the hell is Alex?
If he just wanted to come to this party to get wasted and laid, and if he just brought me along so I could drive him home after—
I shake my head, knowing that’s not true. He wanted to come because tomorrow’s graduation and everyone’s here celebrating,and he wanted me to be here, too, so I wouldn’t feel left out. I know that. Alex is my best friend, and he wouldn’t use me like that.
But the knowledge doesn’t help. The music is too loud, and there are too many people, and the smell of alcohol and weed is too much.
I need out.Now.
