Rye didn’t let himself think too much about things—about how he was able to let Jake hold him like this, so close. But he felt an overwhelming trust in his friend as Jake’s hand began softly rubbing his back, and he leaned into it more.
This feels safe and good. Thank you.
He wanted to speak. And he tried, but all he managed was a mumble of something incoherent against Jake’s neck. A light laugh rumbled in Jake’s chest.
“I’m going to pretend I understood you and that you said you’re famished and want to eat. I’m hungry too. I made us some chicken soup. I’ll have to reheat it by now, but that’ll just take a minute.”
With a small huff of an almost-laugh, Rye shook his head. “That wasn’t...”
“I know.” Jake’s hand stopped on Rye’s lower back. “But I thought I’d get a jump on it before my stomach growled at some really embarrassing time.”
Rye swallowed hard and brought his hand back around to set on Jake’s chest. He could feel Jake’s heart beating fast and strong, and he wondered for a second if his would feel the same to Jake. He took a long, slow breath, and then he tilted his head back. They were so close—so much closer now than when they’d stood together outside. And Jake’s lips were right there. Inches away.
Heat flooded his cheeks as Rye’s gaze flitted back up to Jake’s eyes. He lifted his hand and gently cupped Jake’s cheek. Then he brushed his thumb against Jake’s lips, as he had outside earlier. Jake inhaled sharply, and Rye almost smiled. He almost stretched up, almost leaned in closer.Almostkissed Jake.
But then he remembered how they’d been interrupted before.
How and why.
And he froze before dropping his hand back to Jake’s chest.
Vaguely, he felt Jake shift a bit and then Jake’s hand covering his. And when he leaned up against Jake again, settling his head back on Jake’s shoulder, he tried to ignore the shame and guilt sitting heavy on his chest.
“S-sorry,” he stuttered, and it was the only word he could manage to say.
Jake just shook his head. “It’s okay. It’ll happen when you’re ready, and not before.”
“I . . . Iwasready. Earlier. This morning.”
“I know. But it’s okay if you’re not now. Nothing is linear. Being ready for a new level of intimacy isn’t just a switch that flips on.”
“But I... I want to kiss you,” Rye said, forcing the words out. “I-I wanted to earlier. And I want to now. But—but then I just... I remembered wh-what...”
“What interrupted us before?” Jake guessed, and Rye’s stomach lurched.
It was almost painful.
He nodded, but he didn’t want to think about it. He didn’t want to remember the image of that man on his phone screen or Jake’s words when he’d explainedthat the man had almost taken another boy. But he couldn’t stop himself, and he couldn’t forget, and suddenly, he needed to know. The question was right there, needing to be asked. So, scrunching his eyes closed, Rye forced out his next words, too, even as his chest constricted and it seemed harder to breathe.
“Did . . . they catch him? Please tell me.”
There was a pause, and then Jake cleared his throat. Rye clung to him, waiting. He could feel himself start to shake again, and he didn’t like it.
“The last update I got,” Jake started, his voice low and soft, “was maybe a half hour ago, just after your mom left.”
“My mom?”
“Yeah, she came by to see you, but you were sleeping. She stayed for a bit and then went home. She asked that we call her when you’re able to.”
Rye nodded a little into Jake’s shoulder, and Jake continued.
“Anyway, the last update—Rachel texted and told me they were just about to, uh, send in some special tactical unit. It might be over by now, but I—”
The buzz of a notification from Jake’s phone cut him off. Silently, Jake shifted a little to reach into his pocket, and Rye lifted his head off Jake’s shoulder, his chest still tight. Then he watched as Jake held the phone in one hand and tapped on the notification with his thumb. The screen loaded what looked like a text message, and Rye suddenly couldn’t look anymore. He closed his eyes and tried to take slow, steadying breaths.
“Ah, um, well, good timing, I suppose,” Jake said quietly after a few more seconds. “So, um, that was Rachel... and it’s, uh... it’s over.”
All the air left Rye’s lungs in a sharp exhale, and he collapsed against Jake, suddenly lightheaded. Strong, solid arms immediately wrapped him back in that gentle, warm cocoon. “It’s... it’s over?”
