And then Rye shifted, repositioning himself slightly next to Jake. He sighed quietly, shakily, as though letting out some negativity he’d been holding in his chest.
“You, um, really... you really liked it?” Rye’s thumb grazed his skin—that same spot,again. “The little...not-a-kisskiss?”
There was hope in his words this time. A tentative, cautious hope. And Jake immediately smiled into Rye’s hair.
“Mmm, very much. I liked it very much.”
“And if I wanted to try it again . . . ?”
“You can.”
“Anytime?”
Jake swallowed hard. “Yes.”
“’Kay.”
And after only a second or so of hesitation, Rye did. He lifted Jake’s hand to his lips and pressed the lightest, softest of kisses to Jake’s knuckles. And it was just as brilliant as the first time. Maybe even better, especially when Rye snuggled up into the crook of Jake’s shoulder afterward and let out a long, shuddering breath.
Jake had to catch himself as he almost,almostturned to press a kiss into Rye’s hair. He started to say something, but Rye spoke up before he could.
“I really like being here with you. Thank you for being so patient with me. I... worry sometimes...”
“About what?” Jake asked.
Rye hesitated, and Jake could almost feel him trembling now. “I worry... that I’m too much work. You and my mom and my aunt and uncle and—and everyone. Everyone is so patient with me. And I’m not... I’m so... I mean, I’m never going to be... normal. I’m too broken. I-I don’t know how you put up with me, why you... want me.”
Rye must have known what Jake was going to say in response, because he almost immediately shook his head and buried his face back into Jake’s chest, mumbling some sort of apology.
“You want to hear my why?” Jake murmured quietly, and he waited until Rye had nodded. Then he smiled as a fond warmth spread through him. “Because you’re amazing, Rye,” he said. “You’re beautiful and kind and strong. And so smart. And you’re my best friend. I wake up every morning thinking about you. Any time we’re apart, I wish we were together. You challenge me to be a better person. You make me feel...” He paused, looking for the right words. “You make me feel whole in a way I haven’t in years. Like I’m who I’m supposed to be when I’m with you.”
Gently, carefully, Jake slipped his hand out from under Rye’s and lifted it up to Rye’s cheek. He stopped about an inch or so away, about to ask for permission, but then Rye gave a subtle nod, and with another soft smile, Jake let the back of his fingers graze along the smooth skin of Rye’s cheek. Warmth filled his chest.
“I’m so lucky to have you in my life,” he finished, breathing in deeply. “I can keep going if you want. I can ramble on about how much I like youallnight long, I’m sure.”
There was a small huff of a laugh, and Rye shook his head. “No, you... you don’t have to. Thank you, Jake.”
A single tear slid down Rye’s cheek, and Jake’s stomach clenched as he brushed it away with his thumb before letting his hand fall back to his lap. And Rye snuggled up against him more, most of the tension he’d been holding in his shoulders gone. They sat there together in silence for a few minutes, and it was comfortable again. Comfortable and warm. At least, it was to him.
God, he hoped Rye was feeling the same. But he knew Rye also probably needed some time to process it all. And he would happily give Rye that time.
Jake closed his eyes and pressed his cheek into Rye’s hair, thankful for the closeness they shared, thankful they had this. Everything else would come. Ryewasn’t broken. And he wasn’t too much work or too much effort. He just needed time. Time and kindness, understanding and...and love.
The word fluttered through his chest in a daze, and he took a controlled, measured breath. This was love, wasn’t it? Love built on friendship. Love built on trust.
It was. It had to be.
Jake let his hand slide slowly over across his thigh and turned it palm up. And then he waited. After another moment, soft, warm skin teased over his palm, Rye’s hand flattening on top of his, and Jake smiled.
It definitely had to be.
“So...” He hummed and then chuckled as an idea came to him. “Wanna call up Phil and play someMario Kart? I bet the two of us together can beat him this time.”
Rye laughed, though he sniffled, too, and then reached up and wiped another tear from his cheek. “He destroyed us last week.”
“I know, but I have a good feeling about tonight.”
Rye’s laugh was subtler this time, and he shook his head. “He’s back in school now, isn’t he? And gym? Won’t Kris mind?”
