“Oh, sweetie.”
Rye tensed, pulling his hand away from his cheek as his eyes flew open. He hadn’t realized his mom was in the room. She was supposed to be in bed, wasn’t she? What was she still doing up? And why was her tone so... understanding?
Her quiet footsteps came up behind him, and he flinched slightly as her hand settled low on his back. He let out a long breath and closed his eyes again.
“Sorry to startle you,” she said softly, pressing her hand into his back a little more. “I guess you didn’t see me when you were coming in. You seemed a little distracted?”
Now there was almost ateasein her tone, and Rye straightened up quickly and shook his head as he turned around to face her. No. No, he wasn’t distracted. He had no reason to be distracted. He was just tired. Tired from studying so hard and then spending all day taking practice tests. That was all.
His mom was smiling at him. A soft, knowing smile. And she looked happy. “You know,” she said, “Jon mentioned something the other day, but I told him he was just being silly.”
Rye swallowed hard, unsure why his stomach was twisting up in knots. “S-silly about wh-what, mama?”
His mom reached out slowly and took his hand with a gentle squeeze. “Come sit on the couch with me for a few minutes, sweetie. I’m tired, and I’ve gotta be up much too early tomorrow, but this seems important to talk about.”
Rye hesitated, his feet sticking to the ground. “Wh-what’s important?” he asked, his voice faltering. The knots in his stomach twisted again, and he instinctively slunk back a step, starting to pull his hand away from his mom’s.
But she just gave him a tired smile and an even more tired shake of her head, and she tightened her hand on his for a second.
“Nothing bad, I promise. Just, well...” She trailed off, and there was something almost sad in her eyes now. It didn’t help Rye’s stomach. He hated seeing her sad. More than anything else, almost.
So he moved. He forced his feet to unstick, and he let her guide him over to the couch. And when they sat together, she immediately pulled him in for a hug, pressing her cheek up against his. She smelled faintly of roses, and he couldn’t help it as something inside him snapped. His arms encircled her waist, and he tried not to cry as he buried his face in her hair.
“Shh, shh, sweetie. This is good, really. I’m... I’m so happy for you, Ryan.”
Gosh, now he was extra confused, especially when all the emotions he couldn’t hold back anymore wanted to come tumbling out. All of his sadness and pain. His fear and anger. And then joy. Joy and eagerness. And others. Others that felt good and warm andsafe.
Jake.
Was this somehow about Jake?
“Mama . . .”
He almost cringed at how his own voice sounded when he called her that. Usually she was “Mom.” But sometimes, especially lately and especially when he was tired, he sort of lapsed, and she became “mama” again. She squeezed him gently.
“You have no idea, do you, sweetie?”
He shook his head, and she let out a quiet laugh and then pulled back out of the hug. Her eyes were glistening, and she reached up and brushed his hair back, her lips turned up in a soft, soft smile.
“I guess there’s not really a better time to talk about it, is there?”
“I-I don’t know what you mean,” he said, and she nodded and shifted to take both of his hands in hers.
“I know.” She leaned forward and kissed his forehead, then she sat back a bit into the cushions. Her eyes were smiling at him as she said, “Jake’s a good friend, isn’t he?”
Rye’s cheek tingled, and he couldn’t stop himself from reaching up to touch it, right where Jake’s thumb had brushed against him. Warmth spread through his chest, and he closed his eyes lightly.
There was another soft laugh from his mom. “Jake’s a good man, too. And it makes sense.”
“What makes sense, mama?”
His mom’s slightly amused expression faded into something sad, and she shook her head. “Sorry. I’m not sure how to do this, really. Let me try to start over, okay?” He nodded, and she continued. “Last week, remember when Jake was over for dinner? Tanya made spaghetti and garlic bread? Well, after Jake left and you went to bed, Jon mentioned he thought he saw that you and Jake were becoming, well, something more than just friends. I told him he was being silly. But he wasn’t, was he?”
Rye frowned, unsure whether that was a rhetorical question. And he was still confused about what she was trying to say. Thankfully, she kept going and didn’t make him guess.
“I’ve seen the two of you together lately, and it’s clear how much he cares about you. And I’m pretty sure you care about him too, even if you don’t realize it.” She let out a quiet sigh, and the sadness came back to her eyes. “You were too young when you... were taken from me. You didn’t get to grow up like you should have. You didn’t get to...” She took a deep breath and blinked several times. Then she squeezed his hand gently. “You’re an adult now, sweetie. And I know you read a lot, so I’m sure you’ve come across these things. But it would make sense if you don’t know what it actually... feels like. Sometimes two people grow close. Closer than friends. And they might care about each other enough to explore a relationship that’s more than just a friendship. A... romantic relationship.”
His chest suddenly felt heavy as the meaning of her words hit him, and Rye scrunched his eyes closed and shook his head as his heart started pounding. Hard.
