“Oh, god, Sam, I—” He wasn’t sure what he said next, but he felt Sam ease up, his fingers slowly slipping out of Ollie’s channel. There was heat everywhere and this delicious tingling sensation spreading outward from his chest. And another tear slid down his cheek.
Sam kissed the tear away and then pressed his lips against Ollie’s. “You’re ready, love?” Sam’s voice was quiet and soft, but Ollie heard the anticipation in it. His heart thrummed faster, and the nervous, excited butterflies began their fluttering again.
“Yeah. Yeah, I-I want to feel you. I’m ready...”
There were so many things Ollie wanted to say—I love you, I trust you, you make me feel safe, make love to me. But even without the words, Sam seemed to understand.
Sam slowly wrapped his arms around Ollie and shifted onto his back, bringing Ollie on top of him. He then reached up and touched Ollie’s cheek, his thumb brushing away another tear.
“We can stop at any time,” Sam said, a quiet reminder and another check in.
Ollie smiled and leaned down to brush his lips against his husband’s. “I love you,” he said.
“I love you too. So much.”
Straightening back up, Ollie shifted his hands to rest on Sam’s chest, letting himself be grounded again in the feel of Sam’s heart beating hard under Ollie’s palms. He pursed his lips as he reached behind him with one hand to stroke Sam’s shaft. And he pressed it lightly into his backside, feeling the smooth, hot skin against his cheeks. His body almost ached with need.
Yeah, he was ready. He was finally ready.
Letting out a shuddering breath, Ollie released Sam’s erection and grabbed the bottle of lube. He squeezed a generous amount into his palm, then reached behind him again to coat Sam’s shaft. He felt Sam’s hands on his thighs, tightening at the same time as Sam inhaled sharply, and Ollie smiled as he stroked Sam one more time.
“O-okay, yeah, I’m ready...” There was a slight stutter, a hitch in his voice, but it was the opposite of uncertainty for once. He knew; he felt so sure, so perfectly certain that everything really was right and was going to be wonderful.
He leaned in and captured Sam’s lips again. Then he lifted himself off Sam just enough to guide the head of Sam’s thick shaft to his entrance. For just a moment, he paused, his heart racing wildly. The feel of Sam pressing against him, about to enter, brought another new flood of emotion. It was an intense mixture of things—his trust in Sam, Sam’s love for him,the safety he felt in Sam’s arms—and it overpowered any painful memories that might have tried to surface.
As though he understood, Sam gently set his hand over Ollie’s on his chest. “I love you,” Sam whispered, and Ollie closed his eyes and nodded.
Then he let out a long breath and slowly let himself sink down onto Sam’s thick shaft. As the head breached the tight muscles of Ollie’s entrance, there was an initial discomfort, but it only lasted a few short seconds and quickly faded, replaced by something much more heady and overwhelming.
“Ahh, god, oh god, oh...” Ollie trembled as the string of nonsense words left his mouth. And he paused again, the tip of Sam’s shaft just barely inside him.
“Are you—god, Oll, I...” Sam’s hand squeezed Ollie’s lightly as Ollie heard a quiet grunt from Sam, and when he opened his eyes and looked down at his lover, he saw Sam’s carefully controlled expression—his eyes partway open, his chest rising and falling with measured breaths, his lips pursed together. Sam took another deep breath and then rasped, “Are you okay, love?”
“Y-yeah. Very—very okay. You feel—you feel...” Ollie couldn’t finish what he wanted to say, the strong tug in his belly was too much. God, he needed more. So he just closed his eyes again and lowered himself another inch and then another, feeling himself stretch out to accommodate Sam’s thickness.
A quiet “oh god” from Sam sent a surge of warmth through him, and he leaned forward just slightly, letting his other hand rest on Sam’s hip for support, as he sank down the last couple of inches. It was full, tight, hot. And he was trembling again, his muscles barely able to hold him up.
As though Sam knew just what Ollie needed, his hands shifted to Ollie’s hips and his fingers flexed gently, steadying both of them.
“God, love, you feel good,” Sam rasped. He kept one hand on Ollie’s hip, and the other slowly rubbed down the front of Ollie’s thigh.
“You—you too. It’s so . . . good.”
“So good,” Sam agreed.
There was a tightness in Ollie’s chest then, and he moved one hand to where Sam’s had come to rest on his thigh. He gripped Sam’s hand, needing the touch, and Sam squeezed gently back. And then Ollie started to move, lifting himself slowly before sinking back down. Sam’s hard length filled him again and again. Eventually, Sam’s hands moved back to his hips, then rubbed low on his back, and Sam started meeting him, thrusting up into him gently with the slow rhythm Ollie set.
His moans of pleasure mixed with Sam’s as the intensity built gradually—a tightness and pressure centered somewhere low and deep within him. And it was all better than he’d ever imagined it being. Fuller, more real, more...more. He felt Sam’s hands loving him, caressing his backside lightly, then up his chest, then back down to his thighs. It was warm. Everywhere. He was warm everywhere and tingling and—
“Oh, god, god, Sam, I—” He fell forward and was immediately enveloped in Sam’s arms, his lips crushed against Sam’s, as heat swept through him. Heat, then light, then some other wave. Wave after wave after wave, bright and intense, crashing over him, pulsing through him. It was love and relief and release, all at once.
And it was several moments later before he could think again, before he could register Sam’s lips on his forehead, Sam’s hands rubbing his back gently, Sam’s quiet words whispered in his ear. “Shh, I’ve got you, love. I’ve got you.”
A haze of pleasure still surrounded him as Ollie breathed a long, deep sigh and some indistinct shudder rippled through him. He shifted and pressed his lips against Sam’s, and theykissed slowly, lingering there together. Sam brought a hand around to cup Ollie’s cheek, and Ollie felt the warm wetness of his tears brushed away by Sam’s gentle fingers. When Ollie finally pulled back, he barely had enough strength to hold himself up, and he collapsed back down on top of Sam.
“Sam, I...” He didn’t even realize just how much he’d been holding in until more tears fell, and he sobbed quietly and buried his head into his husband’s shoulder. “Thank you. Thank you so much,” he managed after another moment. There was more he wanted to say, but it would have to wait for later, for when he wasn’t feeling quite so emotional.
Sam just wrapped his arms back around Ollie and held him tighter. “You’re amazing, love,” Sam murmured. “You’re incredible. That was incredible. God, Ollie, I love you.”
