“He must be worried,” Ollie repeated, frowning as he opened his eyes and turned to look at her. But she just gave him another reassuring smile and patted his hand.
“I’m sure he’d appreciate your call.”
Ollie nodded and took a deep breath to steady himself. “Yeah. Yeah, I know he—he definitely will.”
“I’ll just go... downstairs?” she asked, squeezing his hand. And when he nodded again, she stood slowly. “It’s almost lunchtime, too. How does tortilla soup sound?”
He laughed and managed a small smile. “Mom, you know that’s my favorite.”
She just smiled back and then disappeared out the door, closing it gently behind her.
With another carefully controlled breath, Ollie glanced down at his phone. His stomach sank just a little when he saw three missed calls and one voicemail notification. Quickly, he dialed Sam’s number and lifted the phone to his ear.
It rang only once before Sam answered, sounding slightly out of breath.
“H-hey.”
Any of that residual odd shaky feeling faded as soon as he heard his boyfriend’s voice, and he smiled and closed his eyes.
“Hey, Sam.”
“God, it’s good to hear your voice, love. I-I’ve just... I’ve been, um...” Sam’s voice held a note of that same shakiness, and Ollie could feel his worry, even through the phone. He remembered the last few days, hearing the concern in Sam’s voice every time he’d called or every time Ollie had called him. His heart clenched as he pictured Sam—stuck 2,500 miles away, all the way across the country, probably pacing up a storm, sick with worry.
“I just woke up. I hope you haven’t been too worried,” Ollie said. He reached up and rubbed the sleep from his eyes.
“No, no, I understand, love,” Sam reassured, the shakiness in his voice replaced with a gentleness and kindness, and it was so... familiar and comforting, just like his mom’s hug. Ollie smiled as he heard Sam clear his throat. “Your mom talked to me this morning, and she told me you were, um, up really late, so...”
“Yeah, three in the morning, I think. It was—I mean, I needed to talk, and she stayed here with me,” Ollie explained, although he was pretty sure Sam probably already knew.
“That’s what she told me, yeah. Um, how—how did you... I mean, how are you? How are you... doing, love?”
A rush of emotions surfaced as he heard the slight stammer in Sam’s voice, and Ollie didn’t answer right away. Instead, he lay back in the bed, curled up on his side, and closed his eyes, pressing the phone tightly to his ear. Then, he said the first words that came to mind, even though they didn’t answer either of Sam’s questions.
“I miss you.”
“God, Oll, I-I miss you too. I just... Two more—two more weeks, love. That’s all, and then...”
“Two more weeks,” Ollie repeated quietly.
“And then... I’m going to give you the biggest hug.” Sam’s voice was rough, full of emotion, and Ollie shivered as he seemed to feel a whisper of Sam’s touch—strong arms holding him, a gentle hand caressing his back, soft lips pressing against his cheek. He sighed and let the warmth remind him.
He was safe.
He was loved.
“Today isn’t going to be an easy day,” he admitted after another moment. “Especially without you here.”
“I’m so sorry, love, I—”
“But I’m okay, Sam,” Ollie cut in. He turned over onto his back and stared up at the ceiling as he took a deep breath. “Do you... Do you knowwhyI’m okay?”
Sam didn’t answer, and Ollie heard a quiet sniffle from the other end of the line. He reached up and wiped his own tears from the corners of his eyes, but then smiled.
“It’s because... The reason I’m—I’m doing okay today isbecause of you, Sam. So much of it is because of you,” Ollie said. He took another slow breath and continued, needing for Sam to hear him and understand. “You’ve been here for me every day, every time I needed you. Always. S-since that day two years ago, when I called you and—and you were there. No questions asked, you just... showed up for me. Then and every day, every time since. And this last week—these last few weeks—even though we’re not physically together, I-I feel you here with me. IknowI’m loved and—and safe, and that if something happens, I have somewhere to go... someone to go to. That’s... so much. It’s everything to me. It’s been... enough to remind me, even when you’re not here to tell me and I can feel the anxiety creeping in. It’s been...enough.”
He definitely heard Sam sniffling now, and he smiled again as he closed his eyes, giving his boyfriend a moment to process what he’d said. His heart was nearly overflowing with love, and those three little words were right there—easily accessible and ready.
I love you.
