Sam agreed completely, but he couldn’t find any more words right then. Everything seemed to stick in his throat, heavy and full of emotion. So instead, he just held Ollie against himtighter, pressed a kiss on his forehead, and tugged the comforter back up over them, willing the morning to stretch on forever.
They lay there for a while, sharing little kisses and touches, but nothing more, and when Sam eventually felt Ollie relax into his arms, he breathed a sigh of relief.
Not long after, Jaz called, asking for their ETA at the hospital, and Sam and Ollie were forced to drag themselves out of the warm bed and get dressed and packed. They checked out of the hotel, stopped back at Barry’s house to drop off Sam’s stuff, and then headed to the hospital again.
The day passed much too quickly, filled with meetings, just as the last two days had been. Barry’s cardiologist had come in to give them an update on his latest test results and to confirm that they planned to discharge him on Sunday. Then two nurses—Janice and a male nurse whom Sam had never met—spent a good amount of time with them and Barry, getting Barry standing up and walking for the first time since his heart attack.
All the while, Ollie had been there with him, and yet, somehow, it felt like they were already thousands of miles apart.
Even now, as Sam supported Barry the last few steps to his bed and helped him sit, Ollie watching from a chair only a few feet away, Sam felt the distance between them. He tried not to glance at the clock, not really wanting to know how much time they had left until he needed to get Ollie to the airport.
“Ah, now, see, that’s where you’re wrong, Jaz.” Barry laughed, though Sam saw nurse Janice give him a warning glance, and Barry half-rolled his eyes and continued. “Mathematical models can still be useful in that context,if, andonly if, all of the assumptions being made are... properly defined and reasonable.”
Sam groaned and helped Barry lift his legs up onto the bed. “Do we really need to be debating the usefulness of mathematical models right now?”
Barry ignored him, and Jaz gave him a silly grin. “Those of us studying pure mathematics have need for such debates, Sam,” she replied.
“I’ll just stay in my happy little bubble of applied math and never question whether my... assumptions are properly defined and reasonable,” Sam shot back, grinning right along with her. He heard a quiet laugh from Ollie behind him, and he turned and caught Ollie’s eye. The smile on Ollie’s face looked genuine, and it made Sam’s heart flutter. He blinked back his uncertainty, allowing it to be replaced by love, and he bit his lower lip as he held Ollie’s gaze for another moment before turning back to Barry.
“Oh, boy, I’m beat,” Barry said as he patted Sam’s hand. “That was thirty miles, not thirty feet, right? How long... how long until I can walk without... feeling like I just ran a marathon?”
Nurse Janice, who stood on the opposite side of the bed next to Jaz, smiled as she leaned over and checked Barry’s IV line. “It won’t be too long, I’m sure. But you’ve gotta take things slowly, add a little bit at a time. Don’t be so—”
“—impatient. Yeah, I’ve heard that’s a character flaw of mine,” Barry said, and he closed his eyes and let out a long breath.
Sam frowned and looked up at Janice, wanting just a little more clarification, even though he felt the topic had been covered already. Probably several times. Jaz had notes on it, he was sure. And so he didn’t say anything, just set one hand over Barry’s again and then reluctantly allowed himself to glance up at the clock.
His stomach lurched. 3:37 p.m.
Some conversation seemed to go on around him, but he only heard bits and pieces as he closed his eyes, not wanting to admit he had only about an hour left with Ollie. He felt Barry’shand shift on top of his, and when he looked down at his uncle, Barry squeezed his hand and gave him a kind smile.
“Go on, get out of here,” Barry said quietly, his eyes sparkling with understanding. As they always had. “Take him out to a nice meal or something before you drop him off. I’ll still be here when you get back. Not like Janice will let me go anywhere anyway.” Barry winked, and Janice grumbled.
Sam paused for only a moment before nodding. “Thank you,” he whispered, and Barry just smiled—that same understanding, supportive smile. Sam looked up at his sister. “I’ll be back later?”
Jaz nodded, her eyes soft. “Yeah, of course.”
With a final smile at Barry, Sam turned around again to see Ollie pushing himself to his feet, his expression both hopeful and uncertain at the same time. Sam reached out a hand, and Ollie stepped toward him without hesitation.
“Can I take you to an early dinner, love?” Sam murmured in Ollie’s ear as he pulled his boyfriend into a hug.
“I’d like that,” Ollie said, straightening so he could look up at Sam.
It was probably only a second, but the moment seemed to stretch on for Sam, so many emotions flickering in his boyfriend’s eyes. Finally, Sam blinked and smiled with a weak nod, and Ollie took a step back before turning to say his goodbyes to Barry and Jaz.
Sam’s heart felt full of love and yet ached at the same time as he watched Ollie take turns hugging Barry and Jaz. And when he was done, Ollie reached out toward Sam with a gentle smile.
“Ready?”
Sam nodded, and Ollie took his hand, his touch warm and comforting. Together, they headed out, and Sam found himself hoping that the next hour would pass very, very slowly.
Chapter 23
Ollie sat silently in the passenger seat of Barry’s car, both hands holding one of Sam’s as Sam navigated through the streets of downtown Boston in the general direction of the airport. Neither of them had said anything since they’d left the hospital, and Ollie assumed Sam had a destination in mind, but for some reason, he couldn’t bring himself to ask. And so, he just sat there quietly, watching as he rubbed his thumb gently along Sam’s knuckles.
He could feel the tension—it almost buzzed in the air around them, making the car too warm, slightly uncomfortable. And he hated that. He hated that their last hour together before he’d be on his way back home—alone—had to be like this.
Tense. Uncertain. Raw.
