“Yeah, I think so? That sounds right,” Ollie said.
Sam nodded and shifted to get a little more comfortable, resting his head against Ollie’s shoulder. He’d talked a lot and was tired. Exhausted, really. But there was still just a bit more to say, and they still needed to finish eating. So he took another deep breath and continued.
“Anyway, so that’s why... I can’t trust my parents to be here to help. Barry is going to need a lot of help, much more than last time. And Jaz can’t do it all alone. That’s why I-I can’t just leave. God, I’m so sorry. I don’t want you to think that I’m—that...”
“Sam,” Ollie murmured, his tone gentle and soft. “I understand, and I agree with you. And I support your decision.”
The room fell silent for a moment as Sam closed his eyes and nodded into his boyfriend’s shoulder. He still felt like he needed to say more, to promise Ollie more, to just make sure—one hundred percent—that Ollie really did know and understand and... trust that Samwouldcome back to Seattle.
Because that was home now. Not Boston. Wherever Ollie was—that was home.
But for the moment, he felt all talked out—his throat sore and dry—and the headache that had just been a little suggestion of something a few minutes ago now made itself more known, the throbbing pain growing right behind his eyes.
God, he was tired. And Ollie had to be even more tired, even though he still had work to do before he could go to sleep.
He sat up and smiled weakly at Ollie as their eyes met. Then he reached up just as he had earlier, making sure to be slow and careful, and touched Ollie’s cheek, letting his fingers brush along his boyfriend’s smooth skin and then settle at the back of his neck. They leaned in together, as if by mutual agreement,and their lips met in a soft kiss, Ollie’s hand coming up to rest at the center of his chest.
The touch was warm and filled with love. The whole moment, the whole conversation, the whole... day, week, month, two years—all filled with love. Sam slanted his mouth against Ollie’s as he felt the whisper of the words he’d only heard Ollie mumble in his sleep.
Love you too, Sam.
And when they parted, he smiled, pressed a light kiss to Ollie’s forehead, and murmured, “I love you, too.”
Chapter 21
It was easily well after midnight by the time Ollie shut off and closed his laptop. He’d worked long past when he probably should have stopped, and for the last half hour at least, he’d been fighting sleep as he’d finalized the last few slides of his presentation and sent it off to his boss. He was glad it was done and he had one less thing to worry about, but he also couldn’t remember a time he’d been more exhausted.
With a long sigh, Ollie stood and stretched as he turned around slowly, letting his eyes adjust to the dim light of the hotel room. A tired half-smile grew on his face as he saw his boyfriend, clearly deep in sleep, lying on his stomach with the blanket only half covering him and one arm stretched out across what should be Ollie’s side of the bed. Exhaustion tugged him in Sam’s direction, but he forced a quick detour to the bathroom to wash his face and brush his teeth.
When Ollie finally slid under the covers and into bed a few minutes later, Sam had shifted again, now lying close to the middle of the bed, but on his side facing away from Ollie. Careful to not wake him, Ollie pulled the blanket up around Sam’s shoulders and then settled on his back, staring up at the ceiling for some time as his mind replayed the last few hours.
Sam would be staying in Boston when Ollie headed home on Friday. That was the decision they’d come to. Ollie wanted to stay longer, maybe at least through the weekend, but when they’d considered everything—particularly the amount of work he had piling up back at the lab and the meetings he had scheduled with John and the various review committees to go over his presentation early Monday morning—they’d agreed that it would make the most sense for him to return Friday.
And Sam would stay. Probably for at least three or four more weeks. But maybe even longer, depending on how much help Jaz would need taking care of Barry.
Ollie closed his eyes for just a moment, the deep darkness of sleep pulling at him. But he wasn’t quite ready to surrender to it, and he quickly shifted onto his side to face Sam as he opened his eyes again. He could see the outline of his boyfriend’s body in the low light, the gentle, rhythmic rise and fall of Sam’s shoulder with each breath.
Slowly scooting closer, Ollie set his hand lightly on Sam’s back, pushing away the fleeting thought that he wished Sam hadn’t worn a shirt to bed, and then he ran his hand up to Sam’s shoulder. Sam mumbled something in his sleep and turned over to face Ollie, and with a shuddering breath, Ollie shimmied over even closer until he could cuddle up in Sam’s arms.
“Mmm, finally finished with your work, love?” Sam’s sleepy voice rumbled deep in his chest, and Ollie felt a light kiss brush against his forehead.
“Mmm-hmm,” Ollie replied, but for some reason, he didn’t quite trust himself to say anything else.
He heard Sam’s breathing settle back into the predictable rhythm of sleep, and he closed his eyes again. Without meaning to, he found himself pressing his palms into Sam’s chest, memorizing the feel of the muscles under Sam’s T-shirt and the warmth of Sam’s arms around him and the gentle whisper of Sam’s quiet breath against the top of his head.
Tonight.
Tomorrow night.
Thursday night.
And then... how long would it be until he had this again? Three weeks? Four weeks? Or even... more?
Ollie opened his eyes again, suddenly wide awake, and he stared at his boyfriend’s beautiful face, peaceful, kind, soft.Could he even do it? Could he even go back, knowing he’d be leaving Sam here alone? Knowing he’d be going home alone? What if...
He screwed his eyes shut and buried his head up against Sam.
“Hmm? Oll, what . . . ?”
