“S-sorry,” he stuttered again, and he shook his head. “A few small bites of a bagel this morning. And too much coffee. I did have a little water too. But... but that’s all. I’m sorry.”
He felt Sam let out a shuddering breath. “It’s okay, love. It’s okay. Maybe you could... try to eat just a little more. I-I mean—”
The sound of Sam’s phone ringing cut him off, and he grunted a bit in frustration and shifted slightly away from Ollie to reach into his pocket. Ollie swallowed tightly at the chill as Sam’s warmth moved away from him, and he lowered his headinto his hands. However, when Sam suddenly stood up from the couch and inhaled sharply, Ollie turned to look at him.
Sam was staring down at the ringing phone in his hand, his expression taut. All the color had drained from his face, and his lips were pursed. He glanced at Ollie briefly, some flicker of anxiety in his eyes, and then turned away and lifted the phone to his ear.
“Hey . . . Mom.”
Chapter 14
Sam’s heart pounded in his ears, the thrumming almost unbearable. He stared at the phone in his hand, the number both familiar and unfamiliar at the same time. He glanced quickly at Ollie but couldn’t hold his boyfriend’s worried gaze, and he looked away. He turned away, even.
He wished he were somewhere else. Actually, he really just wished the phone hadn’t rung. As much as the conversation he and Ollie had been having was uncomfortable, it was a million times better than... whatever reason his mother was now calling him.
It had been years since he’d spoken with his mom or dad. His sister, Jasmine, called him every few months—to make sure he was alive, he guessed—though they didn’t talk about much. They’d never been very close, but she didn’t seem to... hate him, at least, not outwardly. He hadn’t heard from her in some time now, though.
Sam swallowed tightly, and, his hand shaking, he swiped up to answer the call and lifted the phone to his ear. His voice almost didn’t work, but he managed to squeak out a greeting.
“Hey . . . Mom.”
“Samuel.” Her tone was icy, and he closed his eyes as his stomach clenched. “I trust you’re doing well. Where are you living now? Jaz said you’re in Seattle, working at an architectural firm?”
Small talk. There wasn’t a reason for small talk. Formalities, he supposed. She didn’t sound the least bit interested either. But he cleared his throat and answered anyway.
“Yeah, um, Seattle, for almost a year now. It’s, um... I really like it.” He felt his palms start to sweat, and he set his jawand shoved his free hand into his pocket. “Why—why are you calling?”
Sam was vaguely aware of Ollie moving up behind him, and when Ollie’s hand set gently on his back, he let out a short, uneven breath.
“Straight to the point. Just like your father.”
“I am nothing like Dad. Please don’t—”
“Let’s not get into an argument now, Samuel. I’m calling to let you know about your uncle.”
Sam’s vision suddenly seemed to swim as the room tilted sideways. “Wh-what’s—what’s wrong with Uncle Barry?” His voice sounded far away and weak, and a heavy weight settled on his chest.
“He had a heart attack yesterday. Jaz was with him when it happened. Good thing too. They’ve scheduled him for an emergency coronary artery bypass, or something like that, tomorrow morning. Just thought you should know. He’s high-risk, what with all the medications he’s on for his kidney issues.”
Sam turned and leaned against Ollie for support as the ground shifted under his feet. His uncle Barry was one of his only family members he knew loved him unconditionally. Barry had taken him in and given him a home when living with his parents had no longer been an option for him his senior year of high school. Barry had supported him, helped him through some emotionally challenging times, provided him a safe space to... figure himself out.
The heaviness in his chest became painful, and he forced himself to breathe as he let Ollie guide him back to the couch to sit. And his hands began trembling again, an odd tingling making his fingers feel numb.
“Did you hear me, Samuel?”
He couldn’t speak or breathe, and tears were rolling down his cheeks. He managed somehow to force out a response,something that was maybe somewhat intelligible. And Ollie pulled him into a hug as his mom continued.
“He’s at Massachusetts General. Your sister is staying with him tonight. You should probably give her a call. I think his surgery is scheduled for 8 a.m., but Jaz will know more—” His mom’s voice cut off abruptly, and he heard other muffled voices, including his father’s, as he buried his head into Ollie’s shoulder. After another second, his mother cleared her throat. “Your father said eight thirty, actually. He’ll be there too. Anyway, call Jaz. I need to go.”
“O-okay,” Sam stuttered. He tried to sit up, but the room tilted again, and Ollie quickly steadied him.
“Bye, Samuel,” she said. No emotion. No care or concern or... love. Just as it had been for more than a decade now.
He tried to respond, but by the time he found his voice, she’d already hung up. The phone slipped out of his hand and fell to the couch between him and Ollie, and he shuddered and let out a sob as he clung to his boyfriend.
The next thirty minutes or so were a blur. Ollie held Sam until his crying subsided, and then Sam told him what his mom had said on the phone. Sam wasn’t even sure what happened next, but through some sort of concerted effort—mostly Ollie’s—they ended up on their way to SeaTac, having snagged the last couple of seats on a red-eye to Boston.
Sam sat in the passenger seat of Ollie’s car, staring blankly out the window as Ollie pulled into a parking spot on the second floor of the airport parking garage. His mind wouldn’t stop going around in circles, asking him the same questions over and over. How long had it been since he’d even talked with Uncle Barry? Why hadn’t he made an effort to call more frequently? To visit? He hadn’t been home to Boston since he’d left for Kansas, happy to get as far away from his parents as possible. That had been over four years ago now. But...
