The certainty and resolve and love in Sam’s voice filled Ollie with gratitude, and it was almost enough to chase away all his apprehension, all his guilt. And god, he wanted to tell Sam, to show him how much he really did love him, how much he needed him and wanted him too. But for a moment, a dark haziness nearly threatened him, nudging its way into his thoughts. And it was filled with pain and terror and...
He closed his eyes and took several deep, measured breaths, counting backwards from ten slowly. By the time he reached zero, the feeling had faded, but he kept his eyes closed for another moment, even as he felt Sam’s hands gently set on top of his, stilling the nervous fidgeting he hadn’t even known he was doing.
“Oll . . . ?”
“Hmm?”
“Love, you’re . . . you’re okay, Oll. Are you . . . Are you okay?”
Ollie bit his lip as he heard the slight tremble in Sam’s voice now. It wasn’t obvious. In fact, maybe he normally wouldn’t even have heard it. But for whatever reason, it hit him. Hard. He opened his eyes and frowned as he met Sam’s concerned gaze, and this time, he wasn’t able to stop himself.
“Yeah, yeah, I’m—I’m okay. I’m not gonna... God, Sam, I’m so sorry. I... hate how hard this is on you and—”
Sam shook his head and squeezed Ollie’s hands lightly. “No, love. It’s not...” Sam let out a short breath and shook hishead again. “I don’t like to see you struggling. But, you have to believe me when I say I’ll be here. I’ll be here with you, for you, to help you through it and to hold you and... whatever else you need. And...”
Sam trailed off as he brought his hand back up to Ollie’s face, gently brushing his fingertips along Ollie’s jawline. The touch was just like earlier—soft and loving—and Ollie whimpered and leaned in to kiss his boyfriend, needing to feel closer to him. Their lips met in a sweet, slow caress, and when they parted, Sam held them close with a gentle pressure on Ollie’s cheek.
“Just being here with you, love... that’s enough.Youare enough. Always.”
Chapter 10
Sam smiled softly at his boyfriend as the early morning light began to peek through the open balcony doors, a light breeze rustling the curtains. He reached up and carefully brushed Ollie’s hair back from his forehead, then pressed a light kiss to his temple.
Ollie slept peacefully now, although the night had been a little rough; at 2 a.m. and then again at 4 a.m., Sam had woken up to Ollie tossing and turning. Thankfully, he’d managed to help Ollie get settled back into a quiet sleep with only a gentle embrace and some soothing words, and now, as he watched Ollie’s chest rise and fall rhythmically, his eyes closed lightly and his mouth slightly parted, Sam felt his heart clench.
He twisted around and glanced over his shoulder at his phone sitting on the nightstand behind him. 7:02 a.m. Still... early. He could let Ollie sleep a bit more before theyhadto get up. And then, he had no idea what was planned for the morning.
Katherine had just said, “Be ready to go at eight. Have Ollie open his card at exactly eight. Your ride will be there to pick you two up at eight oh five.”
When Sam had pushed for more information, Katherine had just smiled and told him it was a surprise for both of them.
Sam let his hand skim down Ollie’s bicep, his fingers barely touching Ollie’s skin after he reached the end of the sleeve of Ollie’s T-shirt, and he felt the familiar tug of arousal in his groin. Closing his eyes, he settled his hand on Ollie’s upper arm and rested his head back on his pillow. Ollie snuggled closer to him, murmuring something unintelligible in his sleep and bringing his hand up to rest on Sam’s chest, and Sam’s whole body seemed to pulse with desire.
God. He let out a long breath.
Waiting. He was waiting.
Patiently.
He was, and he would, and it was fine.
But he’d be lying if he said he hadn’t almost needed to take a cold shower the night before. And he’d be lying if he said it was always easy.
Sam let his eyes open again and propped himself back up on one elbow. He released a long breath and then hesitated for just a second before leaning in to press another kiss on Ollie’s forehead, this one not quite as careful as the last. He needed to see Ollie’s eyes, see what he knew was there but that Ollie couldn’t seem to express in words... except that one time in his sleep.
When Ollie still didn’t stir, Sam squeezed his arm gently as he kissed Ollie’s temple and then his cheek and then that spot right below his ear that always made him whimper. Finally, Ollie took a deep breath in and shifted slightly in Sam’s arms, his fingers pressing harder into Sam’s sternum.
“Hmm, wh-what are . . .”
Now needing to taste Ollie’s skin, Sam fluttered more gentle, light kisses along Ollie’s jawline, ending with a final light press of his lips to Ollie’s.
“Good morning, gorgeous,” he said, and he brought his hand up to cup Ollie’s cheek before drawing them back together for another kiss.
“Hmm, Sam, I...” Ollie trailed off, and they kissed one more time, this time a bit deeper and longer.
Which sent another jolt of desire through him.
God, he really needed to get ahold of himself.
