“Yeah. Yeah, it’s...” He closed his eyes as the sensation—the sparks of pleasure and heat—continued to build. His hands slipped up Sam’s chest, coming to rest on either side of Sam’s neck, and he dipped his head back down to capture Sam’s lips as Sam continued his light caress along Ollie’s lower back. The kiss was everything—soft but sure, urgent but slow, and so full of all the love Ollie had always known from Sam. He moaned and deepened the kiss, slanting his mouth against Sam’s and sweeping his tongue first along Sam’s lower lip and then into Sam’s mouth. He tasted hints of chocolate and wine from dinner, as well as something just so... uniquely Sam.
And all the while, Sam continued lightly stroking Ollie’s lower back with one hand.
When Ollie pulled back, breathless, Sam’s hand stilled, his fingers pressing gently into Ollie, and Ollie lowered his forehead to rest against Sam’s. He felt Sam breathing hard, and when he let his hands slip back down to Sam’s chest, he could feel the strong thrumming of Sam’s heart.
Ollie let out a shuddering breath. “I-I think my muscles are loosened up.”
“Mmm, yeah. Probably,” Sam replied, his voice as ragged as his breathing.
Ollie grinned and pressed a light kiss on Sam’s cheek. “Can I... get that massage now?”
“Mmm.”
With another grin, Ollie slid off Sam, and they both climbed out of the hot tub and toweled dry. The heat between them—that tug Ollie had been feeling—simmered down just a bit as they took turns with quick showers. Ollie went first, and then, while Sam showered, Ollie... sat on the edge of the bed and waited.
It had been a good idea—his muscles were still sore, and he really could use a massage.
And besides, hewasready.
Hewasready to let Sam touch him.
At least, he felt ready. He wanted it, more than he’d wanted anything else that day. Sam’s gentle touches throughout the day and then just now in the hot tub had left him wanting more. Not... intimacy. Not yet. But maybe... something in that direction.
And a massage seemed innocuous enough. Really.
Yet, by the time Sam exited the bathroom just a few minutes later, clad in his pajama pants and a plain white T-shirt, all of Ollie’s certainty, all of his earlier playfulness had worn off, and the fluttering of his heart was no longer such a good feeling. His hands wrung together almost nervously, clutching his T-shirt, which he’d put on and taken off three times already.
He swallowed tightly and looked up at Sam, trying for a smile. As always, Sam’s expression was kind and understanding as he crossed the room and then knelt in front of Ollie. Ollie closed his eyes and forced his hands to remain still, and when Sam’s hands both settled on Ollie’s knees, giving him a gentle squeeze, Ollie let out the breath he’d been holding.
Sam said nothing, but pushed himself up and then sat next to Ollie on the bed, one hand coming to rest on Ollie’s shoulder as the other settled again on his knee. A jolt of heat coursed through Ollie, and he let out a shuddering breath.
“I-I’m ready,” he said, attempting another smile.
He wasn’t looking at Sam—for some reason, he couldn’t quite bring himself to—but he felt as Sam shook his head. A moment later, Sam’s hot breath warmed his shoulder, just above where Sam’s hand still touched him, his thumb rubbing back and forth softly.
“Oll...” Sam pressed his lips to Ollie’s shoulder, and although he felt a rush of tingling warmth, his stomach alsoclenched. “I... won’t do anything you’re not one hundred percent ready for, love. And... I think...”
Screwing his eyes shut tighter, Ollie sucked in a breath and then released it in a short huff. Sam was right. The words he didn’t quite say—they were right.
“I . . . want to be ready.”
“I know you do. I want you to be ready. And... I think maybe soon. Maybe even...” Sam paused and then trailed a path of several kisses along Ollie’s shoulder toward his neck as his hand drifted down Ollie’s upper arm, stopping just above his elbow.
The touch was so light and gentle and careful, and the tension Ollie had been holding in his shoulders and arms released in another shudder.
“Maybe if you just... um...” Ollie let out a long breath, unsure of what he’d been about to suggest, and he finally opened his eyes to look at his boyfriend.
Sam watched him with a soft expression, his hand slipping off Ollie’s arm and coming up to cup Ollie’s cheek. “I’ll wait, love. As long as you need. Really.”
Ollie almost wanted to find some sort of frustration in Sam’s eyes or tone or body language. Something that he could use to push himself to just finally let his boyfriend touch him. It was just a massage after all. They weren’t talking about making love.
But as he held Sam’s gaze, all he saw was the same kindness and compassion and firm resolve Sam had always had. If anything, there was concern, not frustration or disappointment or impatience.
With a gentle half-smile, Sam leaned in and brushed a brief kiss on Ollie’s lips. “How about we get some sleep? It’s kinda late.”
Ollie nodded weakly and then leaned into Sam’s hand, which still touched his cheek. “You’re... too good to me.”
Sam laughed lightly and kissed Ollie again. “You mean more to me than anything else, Oll. And I... do want to show you that. I hope you know, um, how much I... want you.” Ollie saw Sam’s cheeks flush as he ducked his head. “But, love, I can and will wait. As long as you need.”
