I snapped a photo. Pure comedy gold.
“You smell like someone pissed on you.”
“Not piss this time. She wasn’t into it.” Killian grabbed a water bottle, coating his sweat-soaked face. “She was a beast.”
“Oh, yeah?” Callum, the other prick sitting next to me, piped up, eyes on the little box in Killian’s hand. “Did she like it so much she gave you her pads and tampons?”
Killian rolled his eyes, “Nah, dumbass, this is?—”
“Her undies you stole? Because that’s the closest thing to action you’re gonna get for weeks?”
“No, Thor, it’s?—”
“Your balls after she cut them off? Let’s be real, you’re probably a shit lay.”
Killian flared his nostrils, his wolf fur surfacing over his pecs.
“Ha. Ha. Very funny.” Killian managed to cut us off, snorting with that flat, unimpressed voice of his. “At least I got some action,” he said, flopping down on the other sofa like he’d just won the wereball league and deserved a month-long nap, “which is more than what you’ll get.”
He shot a glare at Callum, who was shoveling cereal into his mouth. Seriously, the guy had a cauldron-sized bowl of the stuff filled with enough milk to drown in.
“Sorry if I’m a gentleman waiting for my perfect mate,” Callum said, trying to sound all innocent while munching away. “Unlike you guys and your tiny cocks.”
I chuckled at his reasoning. Who even waited for their mate these days? Some werewolves would rather skip the whole thing—between traveling and studies, fewer and fewer wolves cared about finding their soulmates anymore. If it happened, good; if it didn’t, equally good.
“I can’t wait for the day,” Callum declared.
“Right, right, we all know you’re a Virgin Mary waiting for your sweet soul-pussy,” Killian drawled, opening his pink bag and peeking inside. His face twisted in disgust.
“No, not for that. That’s thesecondmost anticipated event of my amazing life,” Callum snapped back, shoveling more cereal into his dump of a mouth. “The first will be when you two dickheads have to explain to your unfortunate soulmates why you’ve banged everything that moves?—”
“Okay, we get it.” Killian cut off his twin, rolling his eyes.
But Callum wasn’t done. He tossed his spoon into his now-empty bowl and continued, “You two are gonna have no idea what the hell to do with yourselves except drop to your knees and beg them not to reject your sorry, fat asses. And I’ll be there, cheering them on andfilmingit all.”
I paused, then snickered at the mental image.
“Especially you.” Callum pointed his dripping spoon at Killian, who responded with a solid punch to his shoulder.
And that was how it always started—a loud crash, and Callum and Killian were rolling around on the floor, beating the crap out of each other like two oversized toddlers. The living room table shattered, the third victim of the month.
Werewolves playing wereball had a lot of steam to blow off. When they weren’t on the field, they were taking it out on each other.
Ignoring the two animals, I zeroed in on thecutelunch box that Killian had brought in.Already had my second breakfast, but maybe just a quick look…
I mean, homemade food was homemade food, right? Lately, my inner beast had been hungrier than usual.
A neatly folded piece of paper was stuck on the lid. I unfolded it and narrowed my eyes at the most illegible scrawl I’d ever seen. It had to be a different alphabet. Or some symbolism. I couldn’t understand shit.
When I lifted the lid, my eyebrows hiked up. It looked awful, like it had been thrown together by some blind mermaid. Seaweed, seeds, and some other unidentifiable, rubbery green stuff—a culinary mystery.
What the hell is this person eating?
I held it up to my nose and inhaled deeply. When I exhaled, I released a low growl and took a bite. To my surprise, it was actually pretty good. By the time I’d scarfed down half of it, I was convinced it was the best meal I’d had in ages.
Killian, with a split lip that was already healing, snatched the container out of my hands. “Hey! That was supposed to be for me!”
“Sure, help yourself.” I smirked, draping my arms over the back of the couch.
