It’s always me reaching for him. Asking for him. Starting this fucking mess of shit that he’s clearly not okay with.
This is all my fault.
“I can’t,” I say back just as quietly and grab his sleeves to plant his hands back at his sides. “I … I have to go.”
“ButTristen…”
I halt at the door, my hand on the knob in a death grip and my jaw gritted tight. “It’s okay, bub.”
His head shakes, more tears flowing from his eyes. “No! It’s not. I’m sorry!”
The second alarm, the one telling me I need to leavenow, blares from my pocket and my eye twitches.
I ignore the urge to bolt and silence the thing with a press of the button through my pants.
The air is thick between us, his shining eyes searching for mine and I can’t. I can’t hold his gaze.
All the space. The unknown. The fuckingpainlooking back at me.
It’s unbearable.
It fuckinghurts.
“I’ll see you in the morning, Em,” I manage to choke out with burning eyes.
And I leave.
Make sure the door is locked behind me.
Climb into the cab of the truck that smells like him—us—and I lose it.
Chapter 50
Tristen
I was supposed tohug my best friend the next time I saw him for more than two seconds.
Instead, he’s offering me another stupid fucking sad smile from the driver’s seat of our rig.
It’s one of those that makes my gut twist instead of settling.
I’d told him once we got out on our first call. Cried all over his shoulder while he petted my hair and then hopped out of the bus the second we stopped. Like nothing had ever happened.
I’m getting too good at that.
“You wanna know what I really think, Ten?”
He completely skips the sad smile this time and just stares right through me for a beat before flicking his eyes back to the road. Then to me. The road. Me.
“Do I have a choice?” I ask softly and run my nail over the seam in my pants.
There’s a jump in his jaw and a tightness to his brow that’s not normally there.
My stomach drops even farther.
“You’ve got a long road ahead of you.”
That ever-present burning is back to blur my sight, and I bite my lip to keep it from wobbling.
