“Shouldn’t what?”
I shrink back even more. Pull the material onto my nose.
I want to bury my face in it. Hide from this for the rest of my life.
But something in his eyes won’t let me.
“Say it out loud, Em.” His voice is softer this time, but no less intimidating. “Even if it shakes.”
A whimper works its way through my thick throat, and I open my mouth. At first, no sound comes.Just like always. The quiet little shit taking what I deserve.
That whimper becomes a sob.
“B-b-because! Boys should be withgirls,and I shouldn’tlikethe dimples above Tristen’s ass, but I—" I choke on the words, the strength of them so heavy that I can’t stop them. “But I fucking do.”
The wails trapped inside me go as silent as Hatley and I can’t breathe.
I can’t breathe.
“Am I wrong for liking them, too?” It’s barely above a whisper, the words off his tongue, but the sting is no less painful.
I wish he’d scream them.
“No,” I choke out. “You’re not wrong.”
“Em …neither are you.”
And for a moment, I wish I could tell Hatley how wrong I really am. How damaged.Broken.
But I don’t think he’d understand.
If my mother couldn’t, how could I expect anyone else to?
Chapter 47
Emmett
“Alright, c’mon.”
I blink my crusty, burning eyes, and my neck cracks when I turn to look at Hatley. It aches from the awkward angle I had it in, from staring at the wall farthest away. I’d hoped the silent treatment served as a message and he’d let me be in my misery, but he hasn’t yet.
“Ten’s gonna be knocked for the next like six hours. Let’s go get into some trouble, yeah?”
“Trouble? No.” My voice cracks but that doesn’t seem to stop Hatley from jumping to his feet and grinning like I already said yes. “What if he wakes up?”
“He won’t. Trust me.”
He holds his hand out again, an offering to help me to my feet, and though I want to take it … I don’t. I can’t. I shouldn’t touch him, too.
But he smiles anyway and backs up a step when I start to unfold from the couch.
Because while there’s a piece of me that screams about fading into the couch and letting the darkness claw its way around my being until it and I become one …
There’s something equally as pulling.
Trust me.
I …do. I trust Hatley and Tristen. Or, at least, a part of me wants to. They haven’t done anything to deserve otherwise. In fact, they’ve done everything to prove that theyaretrustworthy and kind. If not a little over the top sometimes.
