“It’s an ARCH KRGT-1. I was told it’s the best. There were a few others, but something about this one drew me in. I had it custom madefor you.” He smiles so widely that it must hurt, but I just stare, my heart sinking.
“Zia . . .” I swallow the words.
He looks at me, his smile fading. “You’re annoyed.”
“Damn right I am,” I scoff as I hand him the keys. “Take it back.”
“What? No. It’s a gift.” He frowns.
“Zia. This isn’t a gift. This is a contract,” I retort as I stare him down. “You really want to do this here?” I look around at the guards and delivery people, and his jaw clenches as he gets my meaning. He lifts his chin, and I hate that he’s pulling away and putting distance between us.
“Leave us,” he barks loudly, and everybody clears out, even the truck driver. I wait for them to go, but he beats me to it. “If you don’t like it, I can exchange it for one you would prefer?—”
“Why did you buy this for me?” I ask, trying to understand.
“Because I wanted to.” He shrugs. “It was pocket change, so don’t worry, and your bike was looking a little worse for wear. No man of mine will be seen on anything less.”
“Zia,” I snap, and he looks at me. “Do you see what you did with this?”
“Bought you a gift that you seem ungrateful for?” he responds. “If it’s about the money, it doesn’t matter to me, Nikko. I have more than enough?—”
“It’s not about the money!” I yell, throwing my hands up.
“Then what is it?” he asks softly, truly confused. Doesn’t he understand? Can he really not comprehend his own motives? Is it so deeply rooted that he doesn’t even notice how he’s trying to manipulate the situation? That saddens me, so I take a deep breath and try to calm down.
I don’t want to shout at him, but it hurts. It fucking hurts. Everyone else can see what he is doing—everyone but him. I thought we were getting closer. I thought he was letting me in. I’m in his home and bed, but I was wrong.
“Zia, whether you realize it or not, you are trying to push me away again, trying to drive a wedge between us.” I gesture at the bike. “Thisisn’t a gift. This is a form of control. You’re trying to manage this relationship because you’re scared, so you revert back to old ways—using money. If you’re in charge, if they owe you something, it means you can’t get hurt. Don’t you see? It’s like I owe you something if you buy me this. It’s not about the money. It’s the thought. Gifts should be given because you care about someone and want to show that, but this is a declaration in a pretty package.”
He stares at me, his eyes widening as I speak, and when he doesn’t respond, I smile sadly. “You didn’t even realize you did it, did you? I don’t know if that makes it worse or not.”
“I—” He swallows. “I just wanted to give you this.”
“But why? Why, Zia?” I press.
“I don’t know,” he says, looking so lost and confused, my heart aches for him.
“If you tell me it’s because you want to make me happy, then I’ll believe you, but you have to believe it yourself. Why did you buy this, Zia?” I ask once more, refusing to let him escape.
His eyes dart away for a moment, and when they come back to me, they are harder. “I don’t know what you want from me. I gave you my body, my bed, my home, and now this. I don’t understand. Others would kill for a gift like this, for me to spoil them like I spoil you. What do you want, Nikko?” He grows annoyed as he speaks. “Tell me. Tell me what you fucking want.” He steps closer until we are almost pressed together. “I can buy it or steal it. Tell me because no, I don’t fucking understand why you are reading so much into this gift. Fucking tell me what you want!”
“You!” I yell in his face, and he flinches. I try to rein in my temper, but my words are quick and sharp, cutting him to the bone. “I just want you. You’re all I’ve ever wanted, you fucking beautiful idiot.” He stares at me, and I swallow, softening my voice. “The bigger question here is, what do you want, Zia?”
He just stares at me, and I nod. He doesn’t even know, or he’s too scared to admit it.
“I will give you time to figure it out. But let me make this clear—I am walking away right now, but it isn’t forever, just so you can thinkalone. I won’t leave you, Zia, not even for a moment.” I turn to head inside and gather my things, but a hand grabs my arm and yanks me around. His panicked eyes lock on mine, stopping my retreat.
“You, okay?” he blurts out, sounding desperate. “I want you too. I don’t understand exactly, but I want you, Nikko. That’s why I bought this. I wanted to make you happy. I wanted to spoil you. I don’t know if it’s for a day, a month, a year, or forever. I’m not sure. All I know is I’ve never felt this way, and I’m happy when you’re around. I wasn’t trying to control you with money. Yes, I’ve done that in the past, but I just want to make you happy, Nikko.” His words hammer straight into my weak heart, and his hand tightens on my arm as if he’s worried I’ll walk away.
Doesn’t he know I could never walk away from him? Even if he could never give me anything more, I’d take scraps from his table just to be in his life.
“I want you,” he repeats. “Is that enough? Can it be enough?”
He looks so scared, I can’t resist. Dragging him close, I wrap my hand around the nape of his neck and press my forehead to his. “Give me your heart, Zia,” I beg. “I promise I will never hurt it. I will spend my life protecting it. Give it to me the way I have given you mine. It’s not fair, but I want it. I need it.”
His eyes blow wide and his lips part, and for a moment, I worry he won’t speak. “I don’t know if I can. I don’t know if there’s anything left to give.”
“I love you, Zia. I know you aren’t ready to hear that. I know you’re still guarding your heart, but I can’t stop myself from loving you. I can wait. It’s enough, but I want this.” I press my hand over his chest. “Eventually, it will be mine, do you understand? I’m not going anywhere. I’ll be right here, no matter what. Nothing can take me from you, Zia. Not death, not your ex, not your own fears. I’m yours, and it’s enough for now, but one day, you’ll give me your heart and I will cherish it. I’ll help you put its pieces back together.” I kiss him softly. “I promise.”
