Snarling, I pull from his hold and storm down the hallway, pressing my back against it as I try to be patient. If something happened and I wasn’t there . . .
Shaking my head, I tug my phone out, needing a distraction while we wait.
Clutching my phone, I reread his last message over and over again. I should have been there. I should have been with him. He wanted me there. What if I lose him?
The idea of Nikko dying floors me, and I swear I nearly drop to my knees, my body revolting at the thought.
“He’s alive,” Yuki murmurs, blocking others’ view of me. “Breathe, sir. If he wasn’t, they would have said something or been more worried. It was just one hit. He’ll be okay.”
“He never gets hit, not once,” I croak.
“Everyone loses eventually,” Yuki assures me. “He needs you to be strong right now, so snap out of it.”
Nodding, I force myself upright, knowing he’s correct. I can’t afford to be weak, not now. Nikko needs me.
As time passes, my patience runs thin, so when I see a doctor emerging from the room Nikko is in, I make my move.
Catching the doctor, I bite back my worry and anger. “Your patient, how is he?”
“I can’t disclose?—”
“Now!” I snap. “You know who I am, yes? You’ve seen me here before.”
He sighs. “He’s stable. He sustained a serious blow to the head. If I didn’t know better, I would think he was in an accident or hit the pavement from a high height?—”
“Why?” I frown.
“The blow was substantial. His brain is swollen, and the impact area, although shaped like a glove, fractured some of his skull. It will heal, but it will take time. His shoulder was also affected. He will need plenty of rest. For now, we are keeping him sedated to lessen the swelling. We will know more when we wake him up, but tonight is crucial and will determine if he will recover fully and regain consciousness.” He touches my arm the way doctors do. “He’s very lucky. If it had been a direct hit, he would have died from that blow.”
I frown as he walks away. “Yuki, look into his opponent for me. No punch should carry that much force.”
“Sir?”
“I don’t know. I just have a bad feeling about it,” I admit, and that’s enough for him. My intuition is never wrong.
Nodding, Yuki pulls his phone out and wanders away. When the door opens to Nikko’s room, I slink back, watching his father come out. He spots the doctor walking away and hurries after him, Charlie joining him.
“I don’t understand why he was transferred here,” I hear Nikko’s father remark as he follows the doctor. I wait for him to leave before I slip into the VIP room I ordered them to move him to.
I slide the wooden door shut behind me, barely sparing the perfectly decorated room a look. I’ve been in these more than once, with either Faiz or my father. They are like hotel rooms with million-dollar artwork, plush sofas, flat-screen TVs, and even small kitchens.
I head over to the bed, my hand covering my mouth when I get my first look at Nikko. His entire face is bruised, but the worst is on oneside. I see black and blue peeking out from under a bandage that wraps up and around his head. He looks so small and still under the sheet. A monitor at his side reads his vitals, and my only consolation is it’s steady. I move closer and sit on the chair with my back to the door, gripping his big hand and lifting it. He doesn’t react, and I hate that. I ache to see his eyes open, but I know he’s sedated. Logic isn’t playing much of a part in my thoughts now though.
Holding his hand in mine, I stare at his peaceful face as I lift his hand and kiss his knuckles. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there,” I whisper. Pressing his hand to my cheek, I watch him, unsure what to say, so words just flow out. “This was exactly what I didn’t want. I know you weren’t hurt because of me, but I hate it. I have to watch my father grow sicker and sicker. I can’t handle it with anyone else, so I pushed you away, yet here we are anyway.”
I realize that he could get hurt, even die, without me in his life.
I swallow it and the regret I’m choking on.
“I thought you would be safer without me, but look at you, babe. What did they do to you?” I wipe my eyes to hide my tears. “I can’t do this without you, okay? You make it . . . easy. Us meeting was a total accident, we were never meant to cross paths, but after just one night, I was yours without even knowing it. My car breaking down was the very best thing that has ever happened to me because it brought me to you. You’re so real, Nikko, so happy, content, and driven yet kind. I’ve been surrounded by killers my entire life. I have to be perfect at all times, and everyone expects something from me, but with you, I can just be me. I can make mistakes. I can be happy and silly. I told you to wait for me, and I mean it. I can’t live without you, Nikko, so you’re going to wake up. You’re going to wake up and give me that devastating smile that won me over in the first place, and we’ll go back to your apartment, okay? We can cook—okay, you can cook, and I’ll watch—and we’ll finish watchingLutherand go to bed.” My voice is choked, and I swallow back the lump in my throat as I lean into his warmth, needing to feel his callused hands wrapped around mine, claiming me as his again.
“In my crazy world, you have become my safety, my reprieve, sowake up, okay? I know I told you I couldn’t give you my heart, since it was already ruined, but you took it anyway. You took whatever is left of it, so please don’t break it. Please, please just come back to me. I’ll do anything. Please, Nikko, just come back to me. We need you. Your family needs you. The gym needs you. I need you. I need you like I need air. Come home,” I whisper, closing my eyes.
The sound of the door closing makes me whirl around, and I find his dad standing there. I quickly avert my eyes and wipe away my tears, but I don’t release Nikko’s hand. I can’t. I need this. I need to know he’s okay. I need to feel him. It’s all that’s keeping my panic in check.
His dad moves around the bed and sits in a chair on the other side, taking his son’s free hand. He looks older, more tired than I’ve ever seen him, as if tonight aged him ten years.
He looks haggard and lost as he stares at his son, his eyes glistening with fear. His mouth opens and closes as he licks his lips and blinks before looking at me. I see him struggling not to let his tears fall, and it only makes my eyes burn.
