“Nikko . . .” I sigh, part of my reasoning skills coming back as my desire lessens. “Being with me could get you killed. You should go back to your life?—”
“My life is not worth living without you,” he snaps. “Can’t you see that? I would rather die at your side than live another moment without you. You’re so used to nobody coming to save you that you think you have to save yourself, but you’re wrong. I will always come for you.”
“It’s just sex,” I protest. “We are just fuck buddies.”
“Buddies do not kiss the way we do. Look me in the eye and lie tome. Look at me and tell me this was never anything more. Look at me and tell me you don’t feel this too.” He kisses me, and my eyelids flutter shut. “Tell me that meant nothing, that it was just for pleasure.” When I remain silent, he smiles against my lips.
“You can’t because you know it’s not true. We might have started as just sex, Zia, but we are so much more, and you can’t deny that. I want you in my life. I want my bathroom messy with your skincare stuff. I want that stool in my kitchen to be yours. I want my arms to be your home. I want your crazy. I want you in a way I’ve never wanted anything before, not even that championship. If you asked me to walk away from it all, I would. Maybe that should scare me, but it doesn’t. The only true fear I know is what I felt when I woke up and you were gone.”
His words pierce my heart. “I can’t.” He flinches like I landed a blow no one else has ever managed. “Not yet. I need to deal with this, Nikko. I need to handle this my way, and I can’t be worried about you while I do it. You’re my weakness, and they know it. It’s why they targeted you. I can’t afford to be weak. Not right now.” Cupping his cheeks, I stare into his devastating eyes. “It’s selfish, but I can’t let you go either. I know I should?—”
“Don’t,” he begs.
“Wait for me,” I blurt, and he blinks. “I shouldn’t ask you to. I don’t even know what I can give you, but I want you to wait for me. Wait for me to end this.”
He nods slowly, pressing his lips to mine. “Then do it and come home. Come back to me. I’ll be waiting. I’ll wait as long as it takes. I’ll wait forever if I have to. Just . . . come back.” He kisses me again before he pushes away, his gaze full of pain—a pain that echoes what I’m feeling—before he turns and leaves.
It hurts so much more than walking away.
It’s not over, but I have this horrible feeling it could be the last time I see him.
I know I did the right thing, but it hurts so much.
TWENTY-NINE
He asked me to wait for him. It isn’t a promise, and it isn’t what I hoped for, but it’s something. Zia isn’t walking away from me or pushing me away. He’s giving me a chance, a tiny bit of hope, and I have nothing to do but wait.
Lying in the ring, I stare up at the ceiling. It’s been two days since I felt any semblance of peace and happiness, which I only find with him. His world is madness, filled with killers and billionaires, but I don’t care. If I have to be part of it to be his, then I will.
That’s why I’m training harder than ever. I’m determined to win that champion title and make him proud so I can walk by his side.
When the call comes, I happily accept the fight.
My opponent’s ranked third and obviously feeling uneasy about me moving up. I’m below him in ranking, but I know I can win. I only have ten days to prepare, but I can do it. I watch matches over and over with Charlie and my father, until I know his moves like the back of my hand. I train harder than any other boxer in the gym. I’m the first in and the last out. I hone my body into a weapon, and the days pass quickly as I collapse into bed every night, the only time I can sleep without Zia there.
I think about Zia the entire time, wondering how he is, if he’s okay, and if he’s thinking about me at all.
Even as I prepare for the fight in the locker room, Zia is all I can think of. I need to focus, but nothing makes me more determined than him. My father and Charlie look worried, however, as they watch me.
“Take it easy on this one, okay? I know you’re ready, but something seems off about this offer. He never challenges anyone. It’s how he keeps his rank. For this to come out of the blue . . . it’s odd,” Charlie advises.
“I agree. I think he was hoping if he caught you off guard, he could easily beat you. Play it safe, okay? No showing off.” My dad tightens my belt. “I mean it, son. Win, but do it the way we planned. No games.”
“I’ve got this.” I bounce on my toes to keep my body warm. “Don’t worry so much, old man.”
Charlie and my father share a look before nodding. “Okay then.” Charlie claps. “Let’s get this show on the road. If you win this, then we will be one step closer to that championship.”
“When have I ever lost?” I scoff.
“Well, don’t start now.” My father chuckles as they head to the door. “See you out there.”
When they leave, I walk over to my locker, pick up my phone, and type the message.
Nikko: I’m fighting today. When I win, I’ll dedicate it to you.
Closing the locker, I head out and wait for my cue, ready to get this over with. I need that championship belt more than ever, and they are right. This will bring me one step closer.
Joe Fitz is a big bastard and tough as hell, but he’s getting older and he knows it. He’s losing his edge.
