I wake up with gunfire in my ears. I sit bolt upright, my heart racing and skin coated in sweat.
“Zia!” I shout when I look to the right of me and find the bedempty. Scrambling, I fall over the edge. “Zia!” I yell as I race down the corridor. The kitchen and dining room are empty, so I open the bathroom door, but it’s empty too. I run through my apartment, ripping open doors, but he’s nowhere to be seen.
The apartment is silent. There’s no trace of him at all.
I rush to the door, where I see a note pinned to the back of it.
I’m sorry I got you involved. I never should have. Forget you ever met me, Nikko. Go back to your life. Stay safe. Look after yourself. Don’t find me.
~Your Zia.
That’s it, nothing more. He’s gone, and as I reread his perfect writing, I know it’s for good. I wondered why yesterday felt like he was fucking and kissing me for the last time, and now I know why.
He’s blaming himself, worried he could have gotten me hurt. Zia thinks he’s a problem, that his life is too dangerous. Yesterday was eye-opening, I’ll admit, but not enough to scare me off. I want Zia and whatever that entails. I can be better, stronger, and faster, and I can keep him safe. I wasn’t made for his life, but I can learn.
He hasn’t given me the chance to though. He just left, cutting me off completely.
It’s to keep me safe, but it terrifies me. I spin wildly, searching for any sign he’s hiding or lingering close by, as if he will pop out and tell me it’s a joke, but he doesn’t.
He’s gone.
Roaring, I sweep my arm over my counter, sending everything to the floor, but I don’t care. I knew it, I felt it, and I still fell asleep like an idiot.
My door bursts open, and Charlie stands there. I must look wild as I clutch the note.
“Nikko, what’s wrong?” he asks.
“Zia,” I croak as I grab my phone and turn away.
It doesn’t even ring.
He blocked me.
He cut me out of his life like I was never there. He walked away, and as I stand in the silence, I know I’ll never be the same.
When he left the first morning, I felt like I lost something important, but now?
I feel like I lost a part of me.
The best part.
I feel like I lost my forever.
TWENTY-SIX
“It’s for the best,” I tell Yuki as we drive into the city. He picked me up earlier. I lingered, watching Nikko longer than I should have. I made my decision last night, but it still hurt. Knowing it will hurt him even more kills me.
I warned him that this wouldn’t end well, but he didn’t listen, and we both got lost in it.
Yesterday was a reality check I needed. My life isn’t easy or simple, and it isn’t made for good people like him. I was a fool to think I would be allowed such weakness and happiness. It’s something I can’t afford, a luxury I am not allowed.
He could have died yesterday because of me. His father would have lost his son. His gym would have lost their champion. Our lives are so vastly different. I’m not worth it, but I knew he would stay until it got him killed, so I made the decision for him. Each mile we put between us and the gym, though, is like a hammer to my fragile heart.
“Are you sure?” Yuki asks, echoing my confused sentiment. “You care for him?—”
“And that will get him killed,” I snarl. “I can’t afford to be weak, not right now. Someone is targeting us. First, the business, and now this. If Nikko stays with me, he will end up dead. I can live with himhating me, but I can’t live with his death on my soul. I’m a mafia leader, Yuki. I don’t know who the fuck I thought I was playing house with him.”
He sighs. “Sir.”
