I sit, and Nikko pushes my chair in for me before taking his, wrapping his feet around mine under the table. She comes back with two baskets and lays everything out before us. “Okay, I’ll show you how to make them, and then you can try. I’ll be right here if you need any help. Pick any colors and charms you want and make it as personal as possible. Fill it with your love and good energy.” She offhandedly chooses one and slowly weaves it to show us, and then she grins. “Have at it. I’ll be over there if you need me.” She walks away, giving us space, and I consider my choices. I look at Nikko for a moment, contemplating which color will best suit him. I never mentioned I was going to make it for him, but I want to. The idea of giving it to him makes me shy, but I pluck out a thick, black rope and hope he’ll like it. I add a purple strand as I begin to weave, the color of his gym. I check on him every now and then. His eyes are narrowed in determination, even as his big fingers fumble over the weaving.
I’m picking through the charms when the lady walks over. “Oh dear.” She chuckles and helps correct Nikko, whose cheeks flame. “You have big hands, which will make it harder, but good for other things.” She winks at me.
I laugh as Nikko looks absolutely mortified, and when she walks away, Nikko shyly asks, “What did she mean?”
“I’ll tell you when you’re old enough.” I chuckle as I focus on the charms, still grinning to myself.
“Fuck,” he mutters, and I look over to see the ropes wrapped around every single one of his fingers. He holds them up, looking so confused and fucking cute. “I don’t even know how I did that.”
Biting back my smile, I help untangle it and straighten it for him. “Want me to make it instead?”
“No,” he replies in concentration as he starts again. “I can do this. I want to make it. It’s important.”
I watch him as he focuses, and I swear my heart melts, a strange feeling building in my chest. He’s in a rickety chair, looking far too big for this little shop, but he focuses on the bracelet like it’s the championship. All it took was me mentioning I wanted it, and he’s here, with me, without complaint.
He’s an amazing man, and it terrifies me.
It would be far too easy to fall in love with someone like him.
My heart is still scarred and healing, though, so I don’t know if I have it in me to give it away again, and he deserves that kind of obsessed first love. He deserves someone who can wholly devote themselves to him, whose body isn’t full of scars from their ex’s weapons.
I can’t be the one he needs, and I hate it, but I’m selfish and can’t give him up either. I’ll use him until there’s nothing left, and he’ll let me.
It doesn’t make me a good man, but I never said I was.
Focusing on my bracelet, I find a little boxing glove at the very bottom, and I add it discreetly so he doesn’t see it. I don’t think I have it in me to explain why I need my mark on him somewhere or that I want to see him wear it. My ex never would have done this. Gifts are one of my love languages. I adore spoiling people, but Faiz never appreciated it, so I don’t get my expectations up here. After all, Nikko isn’t my boyfriend, so he doesn’t need to make me happy that way.
That doesn’t mean I don’t put my all into making the bracelet. I ensure the weaves are tight so it doesn’t unravel since he’s always moving. I keep the charm locked between the weaves so it doesn’tannoy him, then I wrap my hand around his wrist. He looks up in confusion as I pull back and measure it against my hand, ignoring the question in his eyes. I make it a bit bigger. She was right. He has big hands.
I shudder as I remember how they felt last night when he held me while I rode him, and I swear I turn ten different shades of red when I meet the lady’s eyes to find her grinning knowingly.
We talk as we work, just small talk, but it’s nice, and when I’m done, I sit back and watch him. He’s working so hard on the bracelet, forcing his big fingers into intricate patterns. He has better things to do, but he doesn’t show it. He acts like this is the most important thing in the world to him right now.
I don’t know how someone isn’t already in love with this man, but I’m glad they aren’t. I’m glad I get to have him, even for a little while.
Suddenly, he sits back.
He triumphantly shows it to me, his smile so wide I can’t help but grin. It’s a beautiful gray and blue. The weave is clumsy and large in places, but I love it. “For you,” he says with a wide grin before it fades as he looks from it to me. “You don’t have to wear it if you don’t want to. It probably isn’t your style?—”
I put it on and give him my wrist. “Can you tighten it?”
He blushes as he does, stroking his fingers across my skin. “Perfect,” he murmurs as he lifts my arm and kisses my wrist.
It’s my turn to blush, and I practically throw my bracelet at him. Luckily, he has good reflexes and catches it. “I don’t know if you can wear it while boxing, but it’s for you.”
His smile is so wide, I swear it must hurt as he rushes to put it on his wrist and holds it up. “It’s so pretty! I love it. I’m never taking it off.”
“You don’t have to wear it,” I mutter as I clean up.
“Like hell I don’t,” he retorts. “I want to wear it. You made it for me. That’s important.” He turns to the lady. “Look what he made me.”
“Oh, very nice.” She checks it out. “You’re one lucky man.”
“Aren’t I?” He grins as he winks at me. “It’s almost as pretty as he is.”
“Hmm, almost. You’re right. He’s very pretty.” They both eye me, and with an embarrassed sputter, I stand, needing to escape their scrutiny. I’m used to people lusting after me, calling me beautiful, but the soft look in Nikko’s eyes puts me on edge like nothing else.
“How much do we owe you?” I ask her sharply, probably sounding ruder than I mean to.
