“I’m fine,” I lie.
“You’re not.” Lily’s tone sharpens and she takes a seat next to me on my bed.
She’s right. I feel trapped and I don’t know how to find my way out.
“Is it Gio or Koen?” she asks, her voice softening.
“Koen.” My answer is automatic, which is crazy, because Giovanni quite literally tried to sell me off in a fucking human trafficking ring, but at least I know what to expect.With Koen, I have no idea.
“Have you—have you thought about telling him?”
“About Remi?”
She nods, watching my face carefully.
I shake my head, staring down at my fingers twisting in my lap. “I can’t.”
“Do you think he’s still watching you?”
My face goes toward the window.Yes.At least it feels like he is. “I don’t know.” My words sound haunted.
Lily and Remi are leaving in a couple of days. I rescheduled her parent teacher conference for now and if I can avoid being seen in public with Remi until they leave, that might be enough time for Koen to feel satisfied that I’m going to keep my mouth shut and move on. He didn’t care before. The only reason he cares now is because of what I might say. Leaving me alive is a liability. Honestly, I’m surprised he left me breathing after our encounter in my bedroom the other night.
“Koen’s dangerous,” I whisper, like even speaking his name out loud could summon the devil himself. “You didn’t see what I saw him do at that warehouse. He killed those men without batting an eye, precision shots to the middle of the forehead with barely a thought! He threatened me… If he ever found out about her…”
I shiver. “I can’t risk it,” I say, shaking my head. “Remi’smydaughter, and it’s my job to keep her safe.”Even if the threat is her own father.
Lily nods, accepting my answer. She knows Koen’s reputation just as well as I do. “How’s your back?”
My shoulder twitches involuntarily. “It’s okay,” I lie again. “It doesn’t hurt so bad anymore.”
“Doesn’t hurt as badanddoesn’t hurtare not the same thing,” she chides, reaching for the hem of my t-shirt and yanking it up so she can take a look. “You’ve torn them open again,” she sighs, dropping the shirt back into place.
I just shrug in response.
“You should be resting more.”
“I know.” My eyes drop back down to my fingers, picking at the hangnail I have along my pinky. “But I have to dance, with the showcase coming up…” I trail off because that’s a lie. The showcase is everything, but that’s not why I’ve been in the studio every night. “If I stopmoving, I startthinking, and when I start thinking…”
Lily wraps an arm around me, pulling me into her, sniffing out a laugh when my body tenses up. “Let me love you, dammit!”
I can’t help but let out a tight laugh. “I’m sorry. I can’t help it.”
She releases me and I stare into her hazel eyes. “I’m sorry, Lily, I feel like I’ve been leaning on you too much with the day care runs and the babysitting. Are you sure you want to take Remi with you to New York?” I love my daughter but she’s a lot of work. Work that doesn’t seem fair for Lily to have to take on.
“Don’t you dare apologize for that. You would do the same for me and we both know it. And for the hundredth time—” she sighs audibly rolling her eyes, “—yes. Honestly, I think my parents and my brothers are more excited to see Remi than they are me.” She crosses her arms in mock annoyance, drawing a smile to my face. “We’re in this together. I meant it back then and I mean it now. You’re stuck with me, girl. For the long haul.”
“I don’t deserve you,” I tell her, tears threatening the corner of my eyes.
“Maybe not,” she teases. “But you’re stuck with me anyway.”
We both laugh and, for a moment, the stress, anxiety, and weight of everything is lifted.
“Now, you owe me a movie night if I remember correctly. And I’m cashing in!”
I groan, watching her bounce toward the door, knowing she’s about to go gather enough snacks to make us sick.
“My pick!” she calls back over her shoulder.
