I swallow hard, mentally preparing myself to have the conversation I know we need to.
“I did what I had to do.”
He turns toward me. “What youhadto do? You had my child and didn’t think I deserved to know?” He rises off the bed. “I would have protected you both, but instead youhidher, you hid her fromme.” His dark eyes burn into mine. “What gave you the right to decide for me? You had no right,no fucking right,three birthdays, her first steps, her first words—allgone.”
I search his face—his eyes—but for the first time, I don’t see anger; I seegrief. Tears threaten the corners of my eyes.
“I tried to tell you, but you left.”
He scoffs, glaring at me, but I continue, “Youpushedmeaway, remember?”
“I was protecting you; I didn’t know she existed!” he shouts.
“And that’s not my fault!” I shout right back, and we both stare at each other, chests heaving.
“Koen, you made it very clear you didn’t wantme… why would I ever think you’d wanther?”
He just shakes his head, looking anywhere but at me, turning away and pacing the room, as he fights to maintain control over his emotions.
“What was I supposed to do? You weregone; I was nineteen, I wasalone, and I was terrified.This isn’t a fairy tale,remember?” I say quietly, and he stops, his eyes darkening. “When I found out your name, found outwhoyou were,whatyou were capable of… I made a choice and I’m sorry—I’m sorry that I got it wrong, but I thought I was protecting her. And I did try. Itriedto tell you—once. I didn’t know your name, or have your number, so I went back to Last Call after I found out I was pregnant… looking for you, only to be told you were with yourfiancéein Ireland.”
His gaze sharpens. “You’relying. I was never engaged.”
“Why would I lie about that?” I give him a hard look. “You know what? Ask Liam; he was there that day in the club."
“Because you lie about everything—you were selling us out to Giovanni the whole goddamn time!”
“No, I wasn’t!” I almost scream. “It started with money. I had to borrow it from him because I got behind on bills, but the interest rate was impossible, and before I knew it, I was working at the club to try to catch up, and then that night at Wonderland happened and I saw something I shouldn’t and… he made me spy on you, but Iswear, I did what I could to protect you—your family, but when I found out they were going after Liam…” Tears start to fall and my voice breaks. “Itriedto fix it… I tried to make it right…”
“Youcan’tfix this, Briar! You still betrayed me. I will never be able totrustyou again, and there’s no coming back from that. What can’t you understand?”
“I didn’t have a choice!”
“Stop fucking saying that!”
“They were going to hurt Remi!” I scream.
Koen goes very,verystill, and he steps toward me, slow, deliberate, his eyes are darker than I’ve ever seen them when he says, “Who?”
80
FEAR
KOEN
Briar’s mouthopens to give me an answer but snaps shut, her eyes darting to something over my shoulder.
I look back to find Liam hauling open the sliding glass, panic written all over his face, Remi in his arms. Briar runs for them.
“What the fuck happened?” I wince after cursing, suddenly aware of little ears.
Remi’s breaths are coming in ragged little gasps that follow each other in quick succession. Her usually pink lips have an unnatural blue tinge to them. I’m by Liam’s side in an instant, looking at Briar, who’s also gone alarmingly pale.
She seems torn between snatching Remi out of Liam’s arms and something else… she starts and stops in various directions, not getting anywhere.
“Oh my god, Koen, did you bring any of her things?” The panicked expression on Briar’s face has me on edge. “Her backpack! Do you have her backpack?” Her blue eyes plead.
“What is it? What’s wrong with her?” The questions flood out of me even as I set into motion, becauseyes, I grabbed the bag. Running for my closet, I open the door and look between the bags I grabbed from Briar’s apartment earlier today, but Briar’s hot on my heels. She reaches for the smallest one, and once shehas it, she immediately drops to the floor, tearing through it in her haste to get whatever it is she needs out of it.
