I walked away.
74
MY WORST FEAR
BRIAR
Morning comes too brightly once again.The ice outside reflects the early morning sunlight, and I let out a groan, pulling the thick comforter up and over my head, trying to give myself a few seconds reprieve from facing the day.
It’s been two days.
Two days have come and gone since Koen left me in the woods. There are so many unanswered questions, and in typical Koen fashion, he didn’t stick around to give any answers.
I’m anxious, my stomach is in knots, and I’ve been walking around this house like the floor is made of glass.
The first morning here, we arrived early. Liam brought Remi and me to a bedroom where she slept for a couple of hours in my arms while I kept watch.It’s Koen’s room.I’m sure of it. Everything is neat and clean; there’s no clutter; dark woods and walls are offset by the sunlight streaming in through the wall of windows facing the lake. And the faint scent of him lingers on the sheets and in the air.
I don’t know what to expect. I’d been a prisoner the night before.Was I their prisoner still?
Guest, captive, unwanted intruder—exiled to this house in the woods to live out the rest of my sorry existence caged andalone? All of it bleeds together into a deep pool of anxiety that’s made its home deep within my chest. I’m on edge, tense, ready for my world to come crashing down at any given moment… even though the days have been—peaceful.
I sat in the bedroom for hours that first afternoon, doing my best to appease an energetic Remi, with nothing to entertain her, watching the door and wondering if it was locked. I didn’t have it in me to try, and I certainly wasn’t brave enough to venture out of it with Remi’s safety at stake. The sliding doors are locked, from the inside, but she doesn’t have a jacket or shoes, and it snowed while she slept, a couple of inches quieting the world around us.
Sometime in the early afternoon, a knock sounded at the door. I stiffened, instinctively reaching for my daughter and pulling her close, though she failed to notice the imminent threat of danger.
The door cracked open, and Liam leaned casually against the frame. Easy in a way that made me even more wary. “The door is not locked, you know; you two can come out.”
I opened my mouth, but words didn’t come, becausewhat do I even say?
But Remi didn’t have to be told twice. She slipped from my grip, running for the door and darting out under Liam’s arm.
He tracks her, smiling softly.
I rise slowly, my motherly instincts screaming at me to run after Remi, but all too aware of the danger standing in my way.
Liam’s gaze trails back to me, green eyes softening when he sees the fear in mine, reaching up to rub the back of his neck uncomfortably.
“Listen,” he says, remaining in the doorway. “You’re safe. Nobody here is going to hurt you. Not last night, not this morning. You don’t have to worry about that, okay?”
I want to believe him, and I genuinely want to believe that none of them would hurt Remi now that the secret is out, but I’m not certain the same can be said for me.I saw that look in his eyes.
“Where’s Koen?” I ask, the words coming out lower and scratchier than intended, my throat dry from the stress.
“He’s not here.”
I catch the unspoken addendum. Nobodyhereis going to hurt me.The jury is still out on Koen.
Liam reads my face and shrugs. “Koen’s… complicated, but he’ll come around. Give him time.” He pushes the door open wider. “Hungry?”
That was two days ago, and I still haven’t seen a trace of Koen. He’s left me to linger in this frozen purgatory, trapped inside this beautiful house with the rest of his family. I’m cautious, too well aware of every rule I don’t know, every expectation I’m bound to break.
I’m trying my best to keep Remi quiet and out of their hair, but no matter how hard I try to shield her, she’s wormed her way into all of their rooms and hearts.
She beats Liam in endless games of checkers; he swears she’s cheating, and she cackles every time he pretends to throw the board in frustration. Alex is able to find Remi’s favorite cartoon on the television, and sometimes I catch Liam or Alex watching it after Remi’s lost interest and left the room.
Rory found some markers and paper in one of the drawers, so while Remi is occupied, happily scribbling nonsense, I leaveher with Rory. Hurrying to the bathroom and nearly having a heart attack when I come back to find my daughter coloring in Aidan’stattoos.
Aidan O’Rourke, Irish Devil Enforcer.
