Lily bolts for the window, peeking excitedly out.
I scramble for her arm, trying to drag her back. “Don’t look!”
“Why?” she asks, pressing her nose up against the glass to better see the street. “Where is he? Is he hot?” She scans the street quickly, spotting the blacked-out SUV on the corner.
“Lily, for god's sake.” I toss my hands up, giving up. “I don’t know whose rotation it is… Mac, maybe?”
Koen does have an exceptionally good-looking group of guys in his crew. “I wouldn’t say any of them are your type though…” My voice is teasing, and it gets her attention, drawing her away from the window.
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Koen’s guys are seriously scary, and you like ‘em pretty and helpless.” I wonder for a minute if my comment is a little too harsh, but she lets out a laugh.
“I know. But seeing howwellthat’s been working out for me, maybe it’s time for a change.” She grins, leaning back slightly to peek out at the street again.
Shaking my head, I set about unpacking the bags littering the tiny foyer space, hearing the telltale sound of Remi’s racing feet coming back down the hall.
“Remi?” I call out, craning to see her past the island blocking my view.
“Just getting a snack!”
“Hold on, I’ll help you.”
I’m in heaven for the rest of the afternoon, playing games with Remi, and listening to Lily catch me up on all the hometown drama with her brothers.
“Okay, so don’t hate me…” Lily side-eyes me as she drinks her mug of hot chocolate from the batch we all made together.
I narrow my eyes because that’s never good.
“We took Remi to Dash’s hockey game, and she’s been begging to play ever since. Dash and Sam took her out on the lake, and I’ve never seen her so happy.”
I know this. Remi and I have talked a few times about hockey over the phone.
“She still wants to play?” I ask, sighing. Part of me hoped she would have lost interest. I don’t know anything about hockey. Lily bites her lip and nods. “I tried to talk her out of it, but you know how she is.”
Remi gets free dance lessons at the studio since I work there, but hockey… “Hockey’sexpensive, isn’t it?”
Lily’s wince tells me everything I need to know. “I checked around, and the Edge Arena has a learn-to-skate programstarting up soon. A hundred bucks for the lessons, and it includes the gear and skates.”
I sigh. It’s doable… but I worry about how her asthma would handle the cold arena air. She’s done okay in ballet, but cold air makes her wheezy.
Doing the bedtime routine with Remi is a kind of therapy I didn’t know I needed.I missed her so much. I make the most of it, drawing out the time in the bath, and adding a few extra stories. She falls asleep almost instantly at my side, but I stay next to her for a while. Just staring at her, gently running my fingers through her long blonde hair.
I have to tell him.
Walking back out into the living room, I find Lily perched on the sofa, television on, watching another video on her phone, a carton of ice cream in her lap.
I wander into the kitchen. Pulling open the fridge, only to stare into it for a minute, before shutting it again without taking anything out. I exhale deeply, pacing the kitchen before I even realize I’m doing it again—running circles in my mind and in life. I keep turning over the same impossible question—what the hell can I possibly say to Koen that would keep him fromhatingme?
“Briar?”
Lily’s voice pulls me from my head. I glance over, seeing her watching me, head slightly tilted. “What are you doing?”
My thoughts are still a jumbled mess, so I run a hand through my hair, not really having a good answer. “I, uh, was just looking for a snack?”
Her eyes narrow, and I realize I framed it as a question.
“You’re acting weird.”
