I can’t let up.
I won’t.
Not when the showcase in two weeks is my only way out.
I can’t let Mr. Carr cut me.It’s Friday. I have the weekend to get that combination right. I just have to stay focused and lock the fuck in.
I run the routine again, coming down a little too hard on my already screaming ankle on the last leap. I breathe hard through my nose to hide the wince. Rolling my shoulders, I walk with a straight face to grab a drink of water from my bottle in the corner.
Over the plastic rim, I chance a glimpse as inconspicuously as I can at Koen. He’s leaning on his good shoulder against the wall, his legs crossed at the ankles, and I’m relieved to find him scrolling on his phone, not paying me any attention. His pants are tactical—black, military cut, fitted through the thighs, with a plethora of pockets, and I can see at least one gun strapped to a holster on his waist. His shirt is tight, black and short-sleeved,revealing the dark ink he has snaking up one arm, and the bandage wrapped around his bicep on the other.
He’s changed the dressing. No more unicorn Band-Aids.
My nose twitches and I shake my head, taking one last gulp of water from the bottle before dropping it back to the floor. I roll my ankle beneath me.It doesn’t feel that bad.
One more run-through.
Mistake.
I know it the moment the music starts and I begin dancing. I can feel Koen’s eyes on me now; my own toxic stubbornness takes over and I can’t do anything else other than finish the routine. It hurts, but it’s fine. I’ll ice it when I get home, andit’ll be fine.
That is, until I get to the same jump that gave me trouble last time.
I land and let out a strangled gasp when my ankle buckles, my feet slipping out from under me. I’m going down, and I’m going down hard.
Except…I’m not.
Koen catches me before I hit the ground. Lowering me down as I let out hollow breaths, struggling to keep in the sudden rush of tears set loose by the sharp pain searing through my ankle every time I move my foot.
“Easy, just sit for a second.”
Despite the pain, I try twisting out of his arms, growing irritated when he holds firm.
“You don’t understand!” I’m yelling now, my heart pounding, and I’m having trouble catching my breath. “Ithasto be perfect—Ihave to be perfect!”
I shove him, and he takes it. His mouth tightens and his eyes let loose a warning but he doesn’t look angry, letting me go as he falls back a step, watching me with those unsettling dark eyes of his.
I point a shaky finger in his face but he doesn’t even flinch. His eyes don’t leave mine as I unleash all of the anger, the frustration, thepainon him.
“Youdon’t get to tell me when it’s enough. I decide. Because it’smylife.” I pause to glare at him while my breathing further dysregulates. “I decide when it’s enough, and it will never be enough!” My shouts crack on a sob, and I whirl away from him before he can see me cry. My chest collapses, my lungs constricting, until my breaths are coming in short, shallow bursts. There’s no air. I can’t get enough air. It’s not enough—I can’t breathe—I can’t…
The pain in my ankle forces me still; Remi, Giovanni, Mr. Carr, the showcase,Koen— all at once it’s too much, and I’m spiraling. No matter how quickly I draw my breaths, I can’t get enough—there’s not enough oxygen. The edges of my vision darken right before the world starts to tilt, which only makes me panic more.
I trip when my knees buckle, throwing my hands out, about to crash down onto my knees, but large, strong hands wrap around me before I hit the floor, holding me up. Slowly, they lower me to the ground when my knees give way, and I crumble.
Koen’s deep voice echoes somewhere in the distance, but I can’t reach it; it’s so far away, and I can’t—I can’t let him see me like this.
“Look at me.”
I don’t. Dropping my eyes to the ground as the darkness grows, my vision tunnels even further, my heart rate skyrockets and I start to hyperventilate, fighting for breath. My panic only escalates as I start to freak out that he’s about to see me like this.
“Briar!”
My name, shouted from the distance. But it’s too late. He’s too far away. I can’t reach him.
“Breathe, little Rose,breathe.”
Hands cup my face, bringing my chin up. Deep, rich evergreen is all I can see before lips crush down onto mine, stealing my breath, halting the shadows and freezing my racing heart.
