There’s a shuffle and the sound of Lily moving through the house, another shuffle, and then a sweet little voice fills the line, “Mommy?”
My entire body softens and tears prick at my eyes, and I lean back against the mirrored glass of the studio to keep myself upright. “Hi, sweetheart.” I swallow hard, brightening my voice for her benefit. “How’s Auntie Lily’s? Are you having fun?”
“Yeah. Yeah. Mommy, guess what?”
“What?” I ask, smiling at the excitement in her voice.
“Uncle Dash taught me how to skate.”
“He did, did he?”
“I’m a hockey player now!” she boasts, sounding so proud of herself. “I scored a goal on Uncle Sam! Can you believe it?” I’m pretty sure it’s Sam I hear in the background, shouting about how she just got lucky. I can’t help but laugh.
“You did? That’s amazing! I’m so proud of you!”
“Do they have hockey in Boston?”
I can already see where this is going.“I think they do.” Looks like we might be trading in ballet slippers for ice skates.Shit.Hockey is expensive, isn’t it?The only reason I can afford ballet for her right now is because the studio lets her take lessons for free since I teach there. But maybe if I get that audition…
Remi’s excitement quells and her voice quiets. “Do you think I can play?”
I wince. I can’t make any promises, but I swear to god I’ll figure it out. Of course her asthma is a concern too, but that new medication is supposed to work better…
“I think we can figure something out, baby.”
She screams with excitement and the phone clatters to the floor. The sound of little feet bouncing up and down on the hardwood fills my ears.
“Hi,” Lily laughs, picking the phone back up.
“How’s her asthma?” I ask, chewing my bottom lip, worried about her skating.
“It’s been good. No attacks so far.”
“Not even on the ice?” Lily’s family has a small pond behind their house that freezes over in the winter.
“No, but we’ve been watching her closely,” Lily assures me.
“You have her inhaler?” Remi just had her monthly injection two weeks before she left, so she should be okay, but still I worry.
“Of course.” And I relax a little. “Okay, can you hand the phone back to her? I want to say goodbye.”
“Yeah of course. Remi!” Lily shouts, and I pull the phone away from my ear to save my ear drums.
“Mom!”
“Hi, babe.”
“Mommy! When are you coming here?”
“Oh, honey, I thought we talked about this.” I swallow, my throat thick. “I have to work.”
“But don’t you miss me?” Remi whines, and I know it’s getting close to her bedtime and she’s tired, but her words still cut deep. “I miss you…”
“Of course I miss you!” I press the phone closer, wishing I could reach through it and wrap her in my arms. “More than anything,” I add, my eyes burning as I get choked up, and try to keep it from my voice. “I’ll see you soon. I promise.”
I hear a commotion in the background and Remi laughs. “Bye Mommy! I love you!” she shouts out, happy once again.
“I—” The call disconnects before I can tell her I love her, too. I tip my head back, staring up at the ceiling, hoping that will keep the tears in this time. There’s a prickle of awareness at the back of my neck and my head jerks to the right. Koen’s standing there, leaning up against the doorframe leading out to the hall, dark eyes settled on me, watching,listening.
