Uncertainty & Anguish
Spencer
“Dad, What’s up?” I can feel deep in my bones that something is wrong when I hear the heaviness of his breath.
“It’s Levi, go to Memorial Hospital, now.” Instantly, my eyes plunge, as does my stomach. I grip onto the handrail leading down the stairs to the parking lot below. Scarlett grabs my shaking arm, holding me up, as my legs give out. “Son, you haveto be strong right now. Scarlett is going to need you.” I swallow the emotions that fight with the power to scream out.
“Is he?” I ask as Scarlett’s eyes grow wide, her breath hitches, and her lip trembles.
“I don’t know, son. I don’t know, I have to call your mother, get there, fast.” The line ends with a beep, and my world stops moving.
“Spencer? Tell me! Tell me what’s wrong?” The words are lost in the sea of questions raging for answers, like prayers being screamed from within.
“We have to go.” I grab her arm, running us to my truck, both getting in, driving just as Levi would. My heart is racing like rapid fire, red lights are green, speed limits are suggestions, and my mind is racing with the heaviness of death and grief.
“Spencer, talk to me.” I can’t look at her, I can’t see that look of terror, I know she sees it on me. If I look at her, my walls will crumble, my strength will fall, and my duty to keep her up will tumble.
“Grant hurt Levi. I don’t know how bad it is, but...” I grip the steering wheel so tightly that my knuckles turn white, and my hands sweat onto the wheel.
“But what, Spencer!?” The urgency in her voice makes my chin wobble as tears try to fall, and I press my lips together to hold them back; I finally look at her.
“They don’t know if he is going to make it.” That’s when I see my warrior fall. Scarlett grabs her chest, heaving with tight breaths, her eyes turn to waterfalls, as tears cascade down her ghostly white face. She shakes her head rapidly while saying ‘no’ over and over again. Her leg begins to bounce in the seat with anticipation, waiting for our arrival.
“He can’t leave me. He can’t be gone. He can’t be dead. He can’t. I can’t do this without him. I can’t live without my brother, my hero, my everything. Spencer, if he’s dead, this will kill me. I won’t survive it.” Her plea turns into a whisper as she begs me to end her misery. She begs me repeatedly until I lean over, placing my jittering hand on her bouncing leg.
“Together, let’s go in there to see what the doctors say. We don’t know the full extent yet, and I refuse to accept a world without you in it.” I can feel the sadness in my voice as it breaks.
Flying into the parking lot of the hospital, I drive right up to the main door, because fuck parking, fuck this situation. Fuck Grant. I can feel my rage boiling, my hate spiraling into hostility. If he killed my brother, I’m going to fucking kill him. I will gladly rock an orange jumpsuit for putting that motherfucker in the ground. I won’t watch the love of my life break, I won’t watch my best friend be buried, and I sure as shit won’t watch that mother fucker get away with what he did.
Vengeance is coming, whether it ends with me in orange or six feet under, it’s about to rain down on that asshole once and for all.
Before the truck shifts into park, Scarlett jumps out. I follow behind, not even turning off the truck. I trail her, my toes to her heels, as we run through the doors into uncertainty and anguish.
Chapter 51
It’s You & Me
Scarlett
Terror courses through my body.
The overpowering smell of bitter antiseptics with a hint of lemon hits my nose. Incandescent lights blind my irradiated, bloodshot, tear-filled eyes, with sounds from doctors and nurses making their way down the polished, glossy laminate floor. Spencer’s hand grips mine as he guides me down the hallway, enhancing my apprehension.
Spencer is speaking with the nurse, searching for Levi, for answers. My eyes dart between Spencer’s moving mouth and the lady in scrubs, yet my ears aren’t processing their words. Spencer squeezes my hand, bringing me back to life. “Are you family?” The doctor in white scrubs asks with urgency.
“Yes, I’m his sister, and this is my husband.” I squeeze Spencer’s hand.
“Very well, follow me into this room here.” The short nurse with a blonde bob leads us into a small waiting room, closing the door behind us as we enter. “Have a seat.” I need to stand, and I begin to sway on my shaking legs.
“I-I’d like to stand.” She nods in acceptance.
The doctor stands before Spencer and me. He’s tall, with a surgical cap sitting tightly on his head, hiding any hair he could have. He’s clean-shaven; his somber eyes bounce between Spencer and me. “Your brother is stable. He has a broken arm, nose, perforated eardrum, and two broken ribs.” My knees give out, leaning into Spencer, and he wraps his arms around me, holding up my weak body. “His broken rib collapsed a large portion of his lung. With that, he required a chest tube to remove the excess air and facilitate lung re-expansion. From here, we will monitor his vitals, pain management, and wound care. He will stay here until we can ensure that his lungs are functioning properly and monitor his wounds as they heal. Infections are a concern with injuries such as his.” I back up, now taking the seat.
“C–Can we see him?” The doctor squats down to meet me at my level. His blue ocean eyes lock into mine.
“Before you do that. I’ve told you all that is broken. Superficially, there is considerable damage. The nose and jaw have been repaired. His face is bandaged. His eyes, however, are very swollen; and a shattered eye socket. Once the swellinggoes down, the fracture should heal on its own, with antibiotics.” Streams create a fiery path as tears cascade down, leaving a wet puddle on my jeans.
“Okay,” I whisper, standing up, grabbing Spencer’s hand. “Let's go see him.” The doctor nods, opens the door, and leads the way.
