Jumping in the car, I Bluetooth my phone, knowing exactly what this ‘passenger princess’ will play. The song he hates the most, naturally. As we get to the stop sign at the end of our neighborhood, I blast classical music. The moment the first beat blasts through the Bose speakers, he turns to me, using his free hand to turn the radio off. “Not happening.”
I smirk. “If I’m the passenger, I play the music.” I push the stereo back on.
He looks back at the road as he takes off from the stop sign. “You don’t even like this shit.” He laughs, knowing I am just being difficult, because he’s right, I don’t. With that, I change it to Eminem, and Levi starts rapping immediately.
Pulling into the school parking lot, I gawk at how large the high school is. Stretched out for what looks like a mile long and three stories tall, I snap my mouth shut. “Fuck.” Levi looks out the windshield and nods.
He grabs his bag in the back seat. “Let’s go, Spencer texted me, and said he’s waiting by the front door.”
I smile, opening my door and throwing my bag over my shoulder. “How cute, you’re in a bromance already.” He shakes his head and rolls his eyes. It’s easier to cast jokes and use dark humor to get by. It’s always been my thing to play it off like nothing is wrong. When in reality, my heart is pounding, my chest is tight with nerves, and my hands shake as we walk to the back doors.Here we go.
Spencer is standing by the trees, surrounded by twenty or more people. Levi takes the lead and nods to Spencer. “Hey, man!” Spencer hollers over the girls and guys surrounding him.Why does the thought of girls surrounding him make me feel uneasy?He is wearing jeans that hug his muscular thighs and ass, making my eyes linger for longer than they should. His orange shirt hugs his biceps; I'm sure with one flex, the cotton would rip at the seams. The color makes his tan look phenomenal, complemented by his freshly cut, dark hair and dark hazel eyes, which enhance the contrast of his bright shirt. Quickly, I swallow the temptation and make eye contact with Spencer, finding his eyes already locked on mine.Fuck, I’m caught. My heart begins to beat harder, making me question if an eighteen-year-old can have a heart attack, because at this rate, today is the day.
Spencer smirks, creating a dimple in his left cheek.Damn, that’s adorable. Stoooop, he’s probably a ladies’ man, and all the girls think he’s cute, sexy, and handsome. Shift focus, Scarlett. He’s ugly. Soooo ugly. “Good morning, Beauty Queen,” He says sheepishly. I can feel my cheeks heat, but I tell myself it’s because the sun is beaming with a vengeance.
Smiling back, he leads the way. Six doors in a row hold up stacks of windows, rising to the third floor and meeting at the roof. They are tinted, with a huge cougar in a fighting stance on top of big orange and black letters that read GO COUGARS NORTH HIGH SCHOOL. Filling my lungs with all the air possible, I breathe it out as I walk through the threshold.
Step one. Get through the doors, check.
Stepping into the school, the gray metallic floors shine with fresh wax, and the scent of clean, crisp lemon fills my nose, making my nostrils scrunch.Clean.The long hallway is lit by the windows now behind us. Long hanging lights lead the way down the massive corridor, now filling with students. As we walk, I linger behind Levi and Spencer.
Spencer gives a quick rundown of the layout, knowing that in moments, I will forget. “Here’s the office, and the auditorium is right down this hallway. The school does a good job of labeling everything and everyone.” He laughs and continues walking, constantly being waved at by cute girls and guys, who give him the signature nod of the head. “Yo, Collins, I am so ready to kick your ass at tryouts tonight.” I watch as Spencer shakes his head and laughs at the boy with straight white teeth and blonde hair.
“You wish, I will always be your captain.” He flips him off, and we continue down the maze of rooms with numbers and teachers’ last names that I will never remember. We stop in the middle of the corridor between two hallways. “Alright, so basically, the main hall here is full of offices, including yours,Assistant Coach.”Spencer gives Levi a shit eating grin, “And advisors, counselors, the main office, the attendance office, and a police officer on site. The library is at the end of this hallway, followed by the cafeteria to the right and the gym to the left. Down the two hallways on this floor are the first-year students. The second floor features the math rooms to the left and the science rooms to the right. The third floor is English and government classes.” I nod, happy to know the subjects have designated areas.
Looking at my schedule, I glance down. “What about art? It says I have that in the first block?” My voice comes out shaky, and Spencer grabs my schedule, looking it over.
I watch his eyes dart across the paper. “Right, so electives are on the second floor, you take the landing that takes you to another building over there, and all the elective classes. Don't sweat it, I’ll walk with you.” He turns to Levi, who is scanning the classmate walking by. “You will head to the office and meet Coach, catch you later, bench-coach.” Spencer throws him a kissy face.
Levi nods, giving me a big smile. “You’ll do great, Letty, kick ass today. I’ll text you. And Spencer take care of her, or you run.” He smiles and leaves me on my own while I watch him walk away to his new job.
Spencer turns to me. “Let’s get you to class, newbie.” Giving Spencer a shy smile, he leads the way. The hallway is now less crowded as students make their way to class. Spencer looks over at me and smirks. Every time he gives me that smirk, it makes my knees weak. I don’t quite understand how to wrap my head around it. Is it just new attention? A boy, or anyone really, has never noticed me. Being told how worthless you are nearly every day that ends in Y starts to get to you. Grant’s voice rings in my mind, You’re a stupid girl, just like your mother. If I can’t loveyou, no one can.Drunken words still hit hard even when they are slurred and driven by whiskey. I snap out of my daze when Spencer abruptly stops on the long bridge that leads to the next building. His eyes soften as he turns to me. “You alright, you just kinda zoned out?”Shit.I clear my throat and nod, giving him a forced smile.
“Yeah, I'm alright. Sorry.” I do my best to redirect the conversation. “So, this is the bridge? It’s amazing.” I walk forward, not giving Spencer time to ask questions. The bridge is encased in windows and benches stretching along the hallway. “This school is massive,” I say in a whisper. I turn, and Spencer is looking down at something with curiosity etched on his face. “What's with that face?” I ask while turning my head to the side.
Spencer shakes his head and chuckles. “Nothing, Beauty Queen, let’s go. You're about to be late.” We arrive at the second door, and the sign reads ART - Mrs. Smith. “Your next class is Math. You’ll need to go back the same way we came and go in the direction I sent your brother; it will be the last door on the left.” Spencer hands me my schedule.
My hands tremble as I take back the piece of paper that holds my new daily life. Shaking my head, I take a big breath and start to head in. “Wait, Spence, thank you for helping me.” Disappearing into the art room, I feel relieved, escaping Spencer's sweet eyes and kind smile.
I have never been guided with a soft hand; I have never been looked at and seen. I have been heard but not listened to; I have been yelled at but not spoken to. My father painted men to be awful; to be loved by him is like being loved by an animal that plays with its food before eating it. He plays the part of a loving father, just before he strikes, and when he does, he draws blood. Then, there is Levi. The only man who has shown compassion, love, trust, and guidance. He’s kind because I’m his sister; heloves me because he has to. He guides me because if I were guided by my father alone, I'd be led astray, just like my mother. Levi listens because he knows I have no one else to turn to. Levi does it out of a sense of responsibility, not because he wants to. He stays because I’m a burden; he stays because the guilt of leaving would be too much to bear. After all, I am weak, just like her.
Art class flew by as we learned about Mrs. Smith and what we will be learning in this class. The students gathered around the door, impatiently waiting for the bell to ring.
The bell rings and the stampede rushes out, leaving me behind in the dust, just how I like it.
Making my way back through the bridge to the second-floor hallway where my next class is was easy. Getting to the last door on the left, Spencer is leaning against the wall just outside. He smiles widely and checks his smartwatch, “Made it before the bell, good job, newbie.” He smirks and pushes himself off the wall. I watch as his biceps flex.Seriously, I was hoping he would be uglier this period.
“Why are you here? Do you have this class next?” I point to the door and squint my eyes at him.
He shakes his head, “Nope, just making sure I didn’t need to send out a search party for the newbie. Wouldn’t want you getting lost in this massive school.” He winks at me and walks away, leaving me in shock.He was listening to me… even when he didn’t need to be. Taking a seat in math, I quickly get out my phone.
Levi
How’s it goin', Letty?
Me
Good, just made out with a random guy in the bathroom.
