Every time I’ve sat with my parents around this table, I never thought we were missing anything. We always had love and good conversations; we laughed and talked about our day. But this family dinner was magical. It added more love, greater laughs, and deeper conversations. We found something we never intended to find, and now I pray it never goes away.
After we cleaned up from dinner, Mom busted out dessert. “Your favorite, double chocolate brownie cookie made just for you with Levi’s help.” Maddie blushes, while we all take a seat around the table once more, indulging in too much sugar, more laughs, and more dirty jokes, naturally.
Dessert comes to an end as the sun is already beginning to set, and the streetlights have come on. Maddie thanks my parents with a warm hug, gives me a soft punch, and then hugs Scarlett. Levi walks her out, while we finish cleaning up from dessert and four rounds of blackjack, placing bets on who makes dinner next. I lost every single round, so I’m in charge of dinner. Easy. Mac n’ cheese, boom.
Levi strolls back in, the minute his foot hits the kitchen, I throw my arm around him. “I like what this girl does to you. Keep her.” He gives me a nod, his smile wide, lighting his eyes.
“She’s terrific, sweetie, thank you for bringing her,” Mom says sweetly.
“Great choice, bud. She was really sweet, and she’s welcome anytime.” My dad grabs his usual eight p.m. coffee and takes a seat at the island.
Scarlett walks over, hugging Levi. “I have a secret.” Levi turns and looks at Spencer with a deep, mean mug.
“Dude, I didn’t knock her up, quit looking at me like that, don’t worry, I’ll marry her first, not without your blessing, butI'm a gentleman, so easy on the death stare.” Turning towards Scarlett, she laughs while squeezing him tightly.
“It was my idea to make boobs. Spence wanted a dick, but I said it should definitely be a nice set of tits.” My dad nearly spits out his coffee, and then mom can’t help but laugh.
“You!” He shakes his head. “You two are trouble, you know it.” I look at Scarlett as she scrunches her nose and smiles.I love that little nose scrunch, with two lines on the left and three on the right side of her nose, which makes me melt.
Levi hugs her. “It was perfect, that was the best first family dinner we have ever had. I’m afraid we need to get home. It's been two days.” The thought makes my heart race and my stomach churn.No, don’t go. Make this your home, this can be your home. Stay. Please.Levi and Scarlett hug my parents before I walk them to the door.
“I don’t want you guys to go.” Truth seeps out of me, unable to stop it. “Make this your home, both of you.” Levi puts his hand on my shoulder, giving me a small, sad smile.
“Doesn’t work that way, brother. I’ve got her. I promise. Now kiss her and tell her you love her so that we can get out of your hair.”But I want her in my hair, in my space, my bed. I want this to be our space; my king-size bed needs a queen, and I've chosen her.
I do as he says, pulling her in close to me, before they go, I grab her phone and call my number. My phone rings, so I answer it quickly and then hand it back to her. “Don’t hang up, Scar. All night long. This phone stays on. We talk all night, or you can do whatever girly things you do while I’m not around, but please don't hang up this phone. I want to hear you snore, pee, and breathe. Got me?” I whisper into her mouth until she answers me with a kiss.
“Got you. I love you.”
Chapter 44
Unselfish Love
Scarlett
Walking out of Spencer’s house felt like walking into hell. The ground burned beneath the soles of our feet with each step we took. The only thing that makes this hell worthwhile is that Levi is with me every step.
With my personal growth, I feel more like a warrior entering battle than a damsel in distress. Since I started my training with Spencer, Levi and I have become closer, in a brother-sister way, rather than him playing the role of father and saving me at everyturn. In my growth, he grew too; it has been astonishing to watch him bloom when I released him from my hold.
My need for him was like a downpour; I was slowly drowning him. Flowers need water, yes, but too much will kill them. I saw what my downpour was doing to him, and now he’s stronger than ever.
As Spencer said, I left the phone on. I wondered if he was listening to every step we took toward the house where the monster roamed, and the darkness took over. Is he waiting for the sound of the door to close? Is he pacing his floor, wondering what Grant will do or say, wondering what he will hear?
He kissed me and promised me he would protect me from Grant, his boot, and his hands. The truth is, as sweet as it sounded, that isn’t reality. My reality is walking through this oak door into the unknown and praying like hell we survive.
Survival, that is all we feel within these walls. War is what we expect when we enter into it. At any given moment, the home could be taken over by him, the man who is supposed to love us most. I like to think my heart is made of armor, because the truth is, it was broken so long ago. My perspective shifted to the notion that no man could break my heart, because my father had broken it long ago.
Now that I have Spencer, the thought of him leaving or being hurt in this mess of a life I live is catastrophic. My heart broke when my father looked me in the eye and told me he hated me, then used the same hand that I once held to beat me to the ground.
Spencer took my broken heart and mended it with love and compassion. He put it back together effortlessly, with no space left empty, no crack visible, no hurt, because his love is that powerful. The thought of him being caught in this mayhemwould shatter my heart; there would be no way to put that damage back together - it would be as good as ashes.
Placing my phone in my pocket, Levi opens the front door. We knew Grant was home; the truck was parked in disarray, revealing his state of mind. He’s drunk. Somehow, this motherfucker always makes it home.How does he always make it?
Pushing open the front door, Levi makes his way in first, leading the way, just as the front lineman leads their men into battle. He stands strong, shoulders back, neck stiff, ready for anything that may come his way. What he doesn’t see behind him is my stance now matching his. I am strong, standing tall, with not an ounce of terror rushing through my body. In this moment, if I go down, I will go down fighting, because damn, do we have something to fight for? We have a family.
“Well, look what the cat dragged in,” Grant scoffs, turning towards Levi and me as we walk through the living room, trying our best to make it to the stairs without shots being fired. “You’ve been gone for two nights. Are the Collins’ giving you the love you think youdeserve? Are they treating youkindly?Do they make yousmile and feel happy? Come on, tell me.” His words are coarse, slicing through his tight lips, as he snarls. Levi shakes his head, looking at me, with a shit eating grin that I know is going to piss Grant off.
“Yeah, you hit the nail on the head there, Grant.” Levi’s voice is strong, honest, without remorse for our truth. Grant jumps from his chair, kicking it back with his leg.Oh great, here comes a damn tantrum.
