I can feel his mint breath on my face, deep, heavy breaths falling over me, craving his taste. “You have it so wrong, Beauty Queen. I just found out the woman I love gets beaten, so forgive me if I need a moment to look at you and wonder how the fuck I never saw it. This is not pity in my eyes; I’m looking at you as the strongest person in the world. I am looking at you, wondering how you don’t already believe you are strong enough. Baby, when I look at you, I see a formidable woman. The magnitude of your strength is never-ending. I do not think you are weak; you are brave. You have always been a warrior, baby; you’ve just needed new armor to block the hits. I am ready, Beauty Queen, I am ready to take you down, with the hope that you rise so fucking strong that looking at you fucking terrifies him. Let’s build you up so you can fucking fight back, because if I see another bruise, or the smallest fucking mark, I’ll kill him.” His lips form a tight line, and I believe him. The fury spiraling within him is evident; his heart thuds, and his hands shake as he holds me.
“Sack up, Spence. This Beauty Queen came to get dirty.” He smiles and shakes his head.
“Let’s fucking do this.” We get into position, and he smirks, “Do we need a safe word orrr?” I can’t help but laugh hysterically.
“Only if you need one, handsome.” I lift my hands and strike his ribs, making contact as he leaves his left side open.
“Oh, we got a funny girl, huh. Funny words and cheap shots. Arms up because I’m coming, baby.” He goes to land a hit, and I double block him. A smirk falls across his face.
“You wish.” I go to kick him, and he blocks it, pulling my leg into him, trying to take me down until I spin out of his hold and aim for a headshot. He ducks and bites his lip.
“Well, love, since I can't release this frustration while being balls deep inside you, taking you down will have to do.” Out of breath, he circles me, lunging forward, tripping me, and taking me to the ground. I quickly grab his arm above his head, locking my legs around his neck and squeezing him with my thighs. I lock eyes with him, and he taps my arm.
“Nice work, Queen Boudicca, shit.” I lay in the grass catching my breath, before he rolls over on top of me, pinning me to the ground.
“Never leave yourself open; always ensure your opponent is out, because he could trick you.” He leans over and kisses my nose. “Let's go, warrior, before I go back on my deal and rip your clothes off right here. My dick wants to celebrate your victory right now.” I laugh and jump up, still partly winded.
I hop in his driver's seat as he throws the bags in the back. “What are you doing?” I smirk and hold my hand out for the keys.
“I won, I thought, since I can’t have the thrill of riding your dick, I'll settle for driving your truck.” I smile as wide as I can, showing how proud I am of myself.
He leans against his truck and holds the keys out. “She’s my baby.” I shake my head, taking the keys from his fingers.
“Hmm, I thought I was your baby? Get in, handsome.” He walks around the truck and jumps into the passenger seat.
“You are my baby, and soon you'll be my girlfriend, and then maybe just maybe one day my wife.” He winks at me as I buckle up.
“Wow, there, Casanova, let's slow your roll and get through today, yeah?” He winks at me again, smirking while turning on some music.
“Yeah, take your time, I’ll be here when you're ready. Training partner, friend, boyfriend, fuck buddy, husband. You name it, I can be it.” He lights a cigarette, smiling while he rolls down his window, so happy with himself.
“Let me try.” I hold out my hand, watching his eyes grow.
He smirks. “Abso-fuckin-lutley not. You are taking this warrior queen thing to one hundred real quick. Next, you're going to be wiping blood on your first kill. Settle down, you’re freaking me out.” He laughs at his joke before taking a drag.
“Are you adding Dad to your list?” He slides his eyes to mine, giving me a devilish look.
“Daddy would be alright, I don’t love it, but if you need some weird daddy kink shit, I’d be happy to oblige.” Shaking my head at his comment, I sped out of the parking lot.
“You know what, never mind. Let's just stop talking.” I turn up the music, and we drive home in the silence of happiness and truth. The feeling of truth is powerful, light, and fulfilling. I can look at Spencer without fearing his gaze. I can stare into his eyes without fear of what he may find; he sees me, all of me. My weaknesses, strengths, and truths. He knows everything, and he is still here. He is not leaving, and I have never had anyone stay, except Levi. Having someone stay by choice is different; it’s everything.
Today is the first day of therapy. School went so slowly because my mind was running in a loop of all the questions she could ask, wondering if I should be honest with her.
When I arrive at her house, she’s sitting on the porch swing. She jumps up with a bright smile. “Hey, sweet girl, come oninto my office.” She chuckles and opens the front door. I follow her up the stairs, passing the bathroom and Spencer's room, to the end of the hallway, where she opens the door. She gestures for me to go in first. “Sit wherever you feel most comfortable. You can sit in the chair, or the couch, or hell, even the floor, anywhere you want! I am doing this for you, sweetie. So get comfy, just two friends talking about life's challenges.” I smile at her because of the way she lights up, making me want to be just as vibrant. I chose the chair, which seems more formal. She walks around her rectangular oak desk and takes a seat. The windows let in all the light you’d need, and the soft yellow paint feels warm and encouraging. She gets comfy, gathering a pen and a notebook, then smiles widely. “Okay, sweetie, ready?”
I nod, because the truth is hell to the no. No way, shape, or form am I ready to tell this woman everything. My thoughts are dark, and my past is darker. I love her son, and I fear that once she knows who I am or the baggage I bring, she won’t let someone like me love someone like him. Her pride and joy is being loved by a damaged girl with a traumatic past, an unlikely recipient of the Girlfriend of the Year award.
“So, first let's start with the basics. Today, I just want to get to know you and learn about who you are. I am also going to ask you a few questions to get an idea of where you are mentally and emotionally, to ensure I help you to the best of my ability.” I lean forward, placing my forearms on my crossed legs.
“First, before we start, I have a question. This will only work if I am honest, and I want to be honest with you. But, what if my honesty changes your view of me, and your opinion on my relationship with Spencer?” She sets the pen and paper down, and a soft smile falls across her face.
“Sweetheart, this family is your family. I love you, and no matter what the truth may be, I am going to be here for you.Unless you’re a murderer. Are you a murderer?” She waits for an answer.
“No, ma’am.” She smiles.
“Are you secretly mean and thinking about harming my son in his sleep or in general?” I let out a small chuckle.
“No, ma’am.” She scoffs and sits back in her chair.
