Levi
Age 20
Walking back outside, Spencer is leaning on my new car. He seems impressed with Grant’s choice of vehicle for a twenty-year-old. I would say me too, but I’m not. Grant has always been a man of status. He wants the best of the best—the best house, car, job, and family. I know Grant, and I recognize that this car will come with a price. He might have paid a fortune for this new ride, but I’m going to pay even more.
Spencer looks up when he hears me coming. “She should be down in a minute, wanna jump in and take a look?” I unlock the car, and we both hop in.
Sitting on the sleek black interior, it burns my ass through my jeans. Pushing the brake and hitting the button, the car purrs, hardly noticing it’s running. “This is damn nice.” Spencer leans back, getting comfortable in the passenger seat.
Spencer doesn’t seem bad. I’m usually not one to go out of my way to make a friend, but what the fuck do I have to lose? The thing about making friends when you have dark secrets is that they find their way to seep out, no matter how tightly you contain them. Growing up, we never had birthday parties, but we certainly had big celebrations whenever Grant got promoted. We always knew that after a big win, he would keep his hands off our faces until after the celebration. He’s a wise man in that respect; he only hits where people won’t see it. And, on the occasion his anger overrides his rationale, he buys the best makeup to conceal it, or he makes up a hell of a story to disguise the damage he caused.
Looking at the details of the car rage crashes over me, and I can feel my fists balling as my jaw tightens so tight that I wonder if Spencer can feel the tension in my body shift. The words Grant spoke replay in my mind with a vengeance, ‘You will call me Dad.’ Fuck if I will call him dad. Fuck if I ever feel as though he is my dad. He will never be my dad, my anything; he will always be the bane of my existence. My father was strong; he was a good man who protected our family and this country, and he died in the process. I try to regroup myself and my mind before I spiral out of control. Breathe in and out, in and out.Conceal it. Don’t show emotion. Lock it in. Lock. It. In.I open my hands and act as if I’m stretching, when the reality is, I’m trying my damndest notto knock out every window in this car, to rip the steering wheel off its column, to lethimwin.
Spencer is pushing buttons, taking in the new ride's freshness, when the back door opens and Scarlett slides in. I glance back, noticing her comfortable look and feeling grateful she didn’t choose anything too revealing. I just met this guy, and the last thing I want to do is bloody his nose on my new dashboard for stealing glances down my sister’s shirt. “Bout time, Letty, let’s go.” Shifting the car into drive, I hit the gas and take off down the windy road that I would soon become familiar with.
Spencer shows us where the top hangout spots are, the shopping centers. “So right here is where all the underage get the alcoh…” He stops mid-sentence. “Umm, you won’t like rat us out to your dad, will you?” I look at the review mirror, zoning in on Letty.
“No, he is the least of your worries. Good to know, though, thanks for showing us around.”She saved me. “And Grant is my dad, not Levi’s… when we’re all together, you can just call him Grant,” She says softly with a slight smile on her face. I feel my body relax into the seat, avoiding the whole ‘he isn’t my dad spiel.’ I know Scarlett thinks I always save her, but she saves me time and time again, even when she doesn’t know it.
Spencer nods in agreement. “Sounds good, if we take this left, we will head out of town, into the woods, back there is where all the big parties happen throughout the school year.”
Taking the left, I give a wicked grin and look at Spencer. “Wanna see how fast this bad boy takes off?” I get comfy in my seat, looking in the review mirror. “Hold on, Letty.”
My foot slams the gas, taking all my frustration out on the pedal. We’re immediately pushed back into our seats as the carjumps gears and takes off like a bat out of hell. All the windows are down as the wind blows in, making our eyes water from the rapid breeze blowing into the car. I watch the speedometer: forty, fifty, sixty, seventy, eighty. Flying down the road, the back wheels kicking up dust and leaves as we make our way down the winding road with street signs reminding me that the speed limit is only fifty-five.Fuck it, and fuck Grant, and fuck this new fast car.When the speedometer reaches ninety, I look in the rearview mirror and see Scarlett’s face, and I realize there is not a single ounce of fear. Spencer, on the other hand, looks like he’s about to shit himself. I ease off the gas, letting the car slow gradually. “You good, Spencer?” I laugh at him when he turns to look at me, his hair swept to the left. “Looks like you got some air.” I laugh, and damn does it feel good to go fast, to be free, to break the rules that we so strictly have to follow.
Scarlett is now sitting straighter in her seat, fixing her unruly hair while giggling, “Feel better?” She gives me a knowing look through the rearview, knowing the exact reason for the outburst, before turning her head to look out of the window.
Turning down the music, Spencer looks back at Scarlett. “You good back there?” She laughs at him.
Leaning forward, she places her hand on his shoulder. “I knew we would be just fine. You, on the other hand, look like we need to hit the next gas station to make sure you didn’t shit yourself. I saw your face in the mirror. Terrified.” Spencer shakes his head in embarrassment.
He moves to place his hand over hers, but I notice the flinch when his hand approaches, and the squint in her eyes right before he makes contact; she quickly and subtly pulls it away. “That was a good time, didn’t know you two had it in ya.”
Now, going the speed limit, I take in the North Carolina beauty; it’s pretty here. “She knew we would be fine for tworeasons.” I look over at Spencer. “One, I’d never do anything to hurt her. Sure, we could have crashed, but it was unlikely. Two, I used to drag race back home. I got really good and started betting. It made me feel free, and damn did it feel good to win some money doing something I loved.” I can see Scarlett looking at me in the mirror, her face filled with complete adoration. My sister is the only person in the world I have fully loved. There is never an agenda with her, and there never will be.
Pulling into the driveway, the sun is beginning to set, the music plays loudly, and the conversation comes easily. I wasn’t sure how I would feel about Spencer tagging along or even making friends with the guy. Being friends with him comes easily; he seems pretty laid-back and includes Scarlett in our conversations, which is essential to me. We're a team; it's always been just the two of us against the world.
We all hop out of the car, as Spencer looks at his phone. “I had fun, guys. My mom is ready for me to come home for dinner. Summer break is over, and she’s been trying to soak up all my free time. I’ll catch up with you guys tomorrow. Meet me at the front door of the school, and we can go in together.” He smiles at Scarlett and me as he walks across the lawn, disappearing onto the wrap-around porch with a blue door. Just as Spencer reaches for the handle, the door swings open, revealing Anna, her face warm and inviting. She wraps an arm around his shoulder, pulling him into a soft embrace. Spencer sheepishly tries to shrug her off when she glances over to the car, giving us a small wave and a sweet motherly smile.
Looking over to Scarlett, I watch her face fall as sadness takes over. I understand the pain she feels; I just conceal it. I feel sorrow just as she does, but I must be the strong one, her safe place. How can I be what she needs if I’m breaking too? Scarlett lifts her thin arm slowly and gives Anna a wave. I watch as herarm trembles and her eyes gloss over with tears, struggling to hold back the grief and anguish from being seen. Placing my hand on hers to steady the trembling, I lead her inside, to safety, just like I always do.
Before we step through the door, Scarlett halts, I hear her breath catch in her throat, and I watch as a tear slowly falls over the brim of her eye. Every time I can’t fix what is broken or save her from pain, it chips away another piece of my already fragile heart. I can’t bring her back because God, if I could, I would let our mother have it for leaving her, for breaking her, for putting her duties on me.
Every single person has let Scarlett down. Iwill notfail her. I stay because I’m not leaving without Scarlett, and Grant won’t let us go without a fight. Reaching my hand to her cheek, she rests her head into my hand. Using the pad of my thumb, I swipe away the fallen sorrow, giving her a firm nod; we both acknowledge each other’s pain, a silent gesture of solidarity and comfort.
Scarlett shucks my hand away and jabs me in the side. “Thanks, Levi, let’s go.”
Chapter 6
Limits
Scarlett
The minute the door swings open, we can see Grant sitting in his chair. Our smiles fade instantly as our eyes lock with each other. “So, how was the car?” His dark, hungry eyes shift to Levi. We walk further into the room where the light illuminates the shadows.
Levi shakes his head with approval, “It was great, thanks again.” Watching the interaction, I feel my heart speed up, andmy breath catch in my chest. Inside, I cower, as fear latches on, feasting on my weakness.
Grant stands from his chair, towering over us, “Interior is nice?” Levi stands stiff.
