“Good. I'm so glad it's going well. My son often talks about you and your brother. Tell me, when is your birthday,sweetheart? Maybe you could come over, and we could make a cake together, that's if you haven’t made any plans. Don't feel like you have to spend your birthday with an old lady!” The thought of baking with her again warms my heart entirely. This woman is extraordinary. I don't even know her, and yet I feel loved by her.
“December 30th, and that would be lovely, thank you, for everything. We never did anything like this…” My words fall short because I've never spoken about my mother, but she makes me feel like I can talk about anything; it's as if she has a superpower.
“You are always welcome here, honey. You never have to ask; let yourself in, please. I invite it. It's been a treat having you here; living in a house full of testosterone can be taxing at times. Is your mom in a different state?” The question hits me like a tidal wave.
I stammered, finding the words I wanted to tell her. She made me want to tell her everything.Maybe she put truth drugs into the cookies. Anna looks at me ever so patiently. “She died eight months ago." She moves her hand slowly over and places it on my back, and I don't flinch. I welcome it. I know the question is coming, and there is no easy way to put it. “There was an accident.” Remembering what Grant had said—that if people ask, we lie. Only, I didn't want to lie, not to her. This incredible woman who welcomed me into her home and has shown me more love in two hours than my parents have in my entire life. She continues rubbing my back, waiting to see if I'll say more. “She killed herself. But please, please don't tell anyone. No one can know. Please don't even tell my dad I told you.” I had wanted to tell her, but now fear has dragged me under the waves of truth, and what we get when we speak it.
She stands hugging me tightly, and I swear I see a tear slip from her eye. “I am so sorry, sweet girl. You have my word; I will not tell anyone. Please, come to me if you need anything.” I nod my head, and slowly, I wrap my arms around her and hug her back, so this is what it feels like: a mother's love.
“Heya, guys,” Spencer walks in, breaking our hug, “Two things. One, where are my cookies? And two, why are your faces covered in flour?” I laugh, forgetting my face is covered. I can't help but gawk at the way he looks in his baseball uniform. I thought he got me hot and bothered on the roof, the wetness pulling between my legs tells me I have a baseball uniform kink, and I love it.
Anna gets up and serves him a big plate of cookies. “Go get Levi and share, those are for you both.” He kisses her cheek and runs back outside.
Joy fills me as I watch Spencer be so gentle with his mother. “You raised a good son.” The words escape me before I register what I said.
She smiles so incredibly big, “Thank you, sweetheart. He is fond of you as well.” She winks, and Spencer and Levi run in.
Levi gives me a big hug and sits down, shoving the cookie in his mouth. “Thank you for the cookies,” he mumbles. Anna laughs and hollers for David.
David comes in, and I feel my body tense. Spencer must catch my reaction, and he walks behind me subtly, running his finger on my back, easing my tension. Then he bends down like he is fixing his baseball shirt, and whispers so only I can hear, “You're safe, baby.” I feel my tension fade away. He walks over and hugs his dad.
“Hey, bud!” His mom smiles at their interactions, and random music starts playing. I look around, and Spencer shakes his head.
“Come on, Dad, I have friends over. Can we not? Please don't.” I watch his dad smile sheepishly and move towards his mom. The music plays throughout the house, and David wraps his hands around his wife, pulling her into a warm embrace before swinging her around, dancing with her in the middle of the kitchen. Spencer shakes his head. Mr. Collins takes the leftover flour off the table and flicks some on Spence, making him laugh as he gets dusted. Levi looks at me and smiles before his eyes fall. His sadness radiates, and I won't have it. Not tonight. I slide off the stool and grab his arm, pulling him in to dance. Then I pull Spencer in and hold them both, swaying to the music, and we all dance.
Chapter 20
Fire to Flames
Spencer
Once Levi and Scarlett leave, I help my mom clean the kitchen. We clean and listen to music, and once the kitchen is back to shiny and clean, she sits down at the table and pats the island.
I take a seat next to her. “Sweetie, what you did for that sweet girl tonight made me so proud. I am so proud of you and the man you are becoming…” She tapers off, and I wait. “Son, promise me if there is something wrong, you'll tell me. As a therapist, Ican help, and I know something is going on in that house, and I know you do too.” I shake my head.
“No, mom, I don't know, they won't say anything. All I know is she's jumpy and scared, and I want to save her, I want to save them both.” She places her hand on mine as it fidgets on the counter.
“Because you have the biggest heart ever. All we can do is wait for them to be ready, wait for them to trust you enough that they find comfort in your trust. What you did tonight was a save. It's about the small saves too, just be careful. I don't want you getting hurt while trying to save them. Promise me, you'll tell me if you know something.” I nod.
“Yeah, I will.” She stands up and starts wiping the counter again, her movements anxious. “What is it? Do you know something?" I ask in her tone.
“Well, I know we've got to do something for her birthday on December 30th, oh, I need to write that down. I also know her mom passed away, and she's never baked cookies before tonight. And that just breaks my heart.” Fuck, breaks my heart too. “Go upstairs and shower, smelly boy, but come round here and give your ma a kiss first.” Doing exactly that, I kiss her and start to head up.
“Mom?” She leans against the wall. “Thank you, thank you for doing that for me today. I love you, and I'm glad you're my ma.”
I run upstairs before she starts crying, while talking about how I'm growing up too fast, yada yada yada. I take a quick shower and lie in bed, pulling my phone up.
Me
You made my mom's night.
Scar
She made mine.
Fuck, there goes my heart.
Me
