Anna smoothes down her perfectly straight skirt and tucks a strand of hair behind her ear. Very un-Anna-like nervous ticks that make me feel like I’m existing in some alternate reality.
“Like is a strong word,” she says a little too casually, glancing around the now-crowded area. “Oh look, there’s Steve! You know I lost my virginity to him at that house party in year ten.”
I let her pull me toward the group of guys and drop the topic that clearly makes her uncomfortable, but I can’t deny the spark of joy I feel over her and Percy reconnecting.
I’m chatting with Harry Brown, an old chemistry partner of mine, when I feel a shift in the air around me.
As if my body senses his presence before I’m even aware of it, I suddenly know he’s here before I even see him. My back starts to tingle where I know his gaze rests on me. It spreads until my skin feels charged with electricity.
My breath hitches in my throat when I slowly turn around to find Zayn standing in the entrance to our section, his dark eyes having already sought me out.
In his tailored black suit, he looks too good to be standing in this pub, and I’m not the only one to notice.
Hushed whispers start around me.
Who’s that insanely gorgeous man over there?
Is he here for the reunion?
Surely not! I would remember going to school with a hunk like that!
His eyes don’t leave mine as he slowly makes his way over to our party, the whispers around me getting more frantic until I can’t help but tune them out, no longer noticing anything outside the void that slowly narrows between us.
He comes to stand directly in front of me with an indecipherable look on his face.
“Gianna.”
I swallow. “Zayn.”
“Can I have a moment of your time?”
His eyes are hard as he offers me his arm, and I have no choice but to take it. What feels like a hundred pairs of eyes follow our every movement.
“You okay, G?” Anna asks from somewhere beside me,and I glance at her long enough to notice Percy standing beside her.
Did he come with Zayn? I didn’t notice him if he did. Is that how Zayn knew I would be here?
I guess I had to face him eventually. I’m only glad it’s with a bit of liquid courage on my side.
I scull the rest of my martini and hand the glass to Anna. “I’m fine. Be right back.”
“Okay,” she says, sounding as nervous as I feel. She knows I don’t have a plan in place. “Call if you need me.”
Zayn leads me into a vacant, closed-off courtyard while my mind races with what I can say to him to buy myself more time. Once we’re hidden from prying eyes, Zayn stops and turns to face me. My heart hammers against my ribcage.
“Care to explain the last week to me?” he says casually, but I see his unease in the tightness of his jaw. “See, I can’t figure out why you would run from our conversation and then disappear for days without making contact. I’ve come up with a few scenarios, but I really fucking hope none of them are true. So please, put me out of my misery and tell me.”
Up close, Zayn’s eyes look tired, lined, like he hasn’t had much sleep over the last few days. I only know this because I see the same thing when I look at myself in the mirror.
“I can’t do this, Zayn.”
My voice cracks as I say the words, along with my heart. This was my worst-case scenario, my plan Z, but I can’t tell him the truth. Therefore, my only option is to lie. “I can’t be with you. I can’t go through all this again.”
His jaw ticks as darkness falls across his face. With his obnoxiously handsome, perfectly proportionate face, he looks like a pissed-off prince being told he can’t have whathe wants. He takes a moment to speak, and when he does his voice is tight, his words clipped.
“Can I ask why not?”
Like a coward, I nod my chin to my chest and stare at his polished black shoes. “This is torture for me, Zayn.”Not a lie. “My heart can’t handle the rollercoaster that is our relationship. The constant fear that something will push you away one day. That you’ll leave, and I’ll be broken.” I lift my gaze to his as tears pool in my eyes.
