“Luckily, no one died.”That time.“But he hurt his knee. It was so bad that he had to have two operations. The first one went well; the second didn’t. He lost his college scholarship, and no other school wanted him because he couldn’t play with his bad knee.”
“I’m assuming that’s when everything went to shit.” Elias frowns as he sits back in his seat.
“He was off the team and no longer the star quarterback destined for the NFL. I was there for him even though I was angry at him for drinking and driving. Then we graduated, and all our friends went to college, but we stayed in Oregon,” I say.
“And got married?” Knox glances at my throat.
I nod. “He’s a beta, so yeah, we got married.”
If Derek had been an alpha, he’d have given me a claiming bite, the usual way for an alpha and omega to bond. Betastypically marry, while alphas and omegas sometimes will, but often stick with claiming bites to show their relationship status.
“What about college?” Wyatt asks. “You said you wanted to go, and you could have. He was the one with the busted-up knee. Not you.”
I let out a sigh at one of my biggest life regrets. “Yeah, I did say that, didn’t I?”
“He stopped you.” Wyatt frowns.
“It wasn’t so much his stopping me asmestoppingme. My sister had a baby, and her husband was offered a fantastic teaching job across the country. I pushed them to go for it even though my sister wasn’t sure about leaving me behind. I told myself I would defer college for a year so I could stay with Derek when he asked me to. His parents told him they wouldn’t pay for college and to start work at their business since he’d ruined his future.”
“Ouch.” Hunter winces. “They said that to his face?”
I nod. “He’d always hated the idea of working for his dad. One of the biggest motivations he had to do well in sports was to go pro so he could get away from his dad’s boring job and all his parents' expectations. His knee injury ruined all that. I started working as a clerk at the government building because we were living together by then and needed the money. We had an ordinary life for a bit: date night on a Friday, he went fishing sometimes with his friends, and a quiet dinner on Sunday.”
“Then what happened?” Elias asks.
I twist the tissue he hands me into ribbons. “He started to resent his boring life.”
“And that included you?” Elias hands me another tissue, and I take it with a grateful smile.
“Yes, that included me. At work, his dad controlled every aspect of his day. What meetings he took, when he went on a break, how much he was paid. All of it. So when Derek got homefrom work, he started to control every aspect ofmyday. And then of my life.”
“Was he hitting you?” Wyatt asks quietly.
I shake my head. “Not then. I have thought about why I didn’t leave him when the controlling started, but I would remember the way he loved me, and I kept hoping he would go back to that. He’d complain about my cooking, call me fat or stupid or an idiot, and I’d get upset. He’d apologize, hug me, kiss me, and tell me things at work weren’t going well, or his dad was pushing him too hard. It was easy to forgive him when he told me he loved me, and I could see that he still did. I told myself things with work would get better, and he’d stop being bitter and angry about his dreams of playing in the NFL going up in smoke. I kept thinking he would change, but he got worse.”
I stare at the remnants of the tissue in my lap that I told myself I wouldn’t shred.
Elias passes me another tissue, and even though my face feels wet, I don’t wipe my damp cheeks.
“I could never do anything right. It was just criticism at first. No, it wasdisappointment. He’d had a hard day at work, and I’d let him down by not being the wife he needed me to be. That I’d failed him. I wasn’t making his dinner the way he liked it. I didn't make the bed right. The house was filthy. I was fat and stupid. I wasn’t pregnant yet. They were all criticisms I didn’t deserve. Except for the last one.”
“Not being pregnant?” Elias wraps his arm around my shoulder. This time, he doesn’t hand me a tissue. He wipes the tears from my cheeks himself.
I smile at the sweet gesture.
My smile fades when I remember the life I hated. “Derek knew I always wanted kids; I’d never hidden that. I thought we’d try after college, but when he started being controlling and I started feeling trapped, the last thing I wanted was to bring achild into our home. I was already taking suppressants to control my heat since he wasn’t an alpha, so it wasn’t a big deal to go to my doctor and get more birth control pills when I told Derek I’d stopped taking them.”
“Did he ever figure it out?” Wyatt asks.
I sigh, massaging my throbbing forehead. “Yeah, he did. I’d find my bag open when I’d definitely closed it. There were only two of us in that house, so it had to be him. And the pills I’d hidden from him looked different.”
“Different?” Knox sits up in his seat.
I nod. “I’d been taking birth control pills since I was seventeen. The pills in my box were not the same ones I’d always taken. I flushed them down the toilet and made another appointment with the doctor during my lunch break when I knew he’d be at work.”
Elias bristles with rage. “He was trying to get you pregnant to control you even more.”
“I think so. That’s when I started planning how I would leave,” I say. “I knew no one would help me. Whenever I’d start to even mention that Derek and I were having problems, everyone would pat me on my arm and tell me that’s how it sometimes is in a marriage. That I was lucky to have him and we’d ride whatever rough storm we were in.”
