“Darla! Is that really appropriate?” A nervous giggle bubbles out of me.
Helen cackles from her spot on the sofa.
Darla waves dismissively. “Oh, don’t play coy with me, missie! You haven’t been this flushed or glowy since... Well, since never. So go on. Spill. Where’d you hide away? Who took you there? What do they look like? Name? Profession? Hobbies? Shoe size? Favorite flavor of tea?”
“Oh my gods.” I lean forward and put my hands over my face. “Darla, stop.”
Katherine pipes up from her corner on the other couch, eyes wide with excitement. “Oh! Did you have a summer fling?” She clasps her hands in front of her like I’m her personal soap opera drama. “I love a good summer fling. We had that one year when all the college boys were home on break, and—”
She’s interrupted by a huff from Helen. “No one cares about your college boy phase Katherine. This is about Seriphina. She’s blushing. And she’s clearly been getting some.”
Marci rolls her eyes at Helen. “Oh fuck off, Helen. Just because you are still going through your college boy phase doesn’t mean you have to be a bitch about it.”
Esther snorts out a laugh at Helen’s expense, while Helen flushes a deeper shade of red than I am.
Darla redirects the conversation back where she wants it. “Well? I’m waiting, Miss Seriphina. We all want to know who managed to sweep you off your feet. And if he has a brother, or a dad, or a cousin...” She raises her eyebrows and sips her tea.
Katherine and Esther cackle next to her.
Marci contributes with her usual dry, sarcastic, sense of humor, rolling her eyes. “Yeah I’ll bet. She probably met some burly, lumberjack type who lives alone in a cabin in the wilderness. Probably has more plaid shirts than she could count and an obsession with chopping his own firewood. And a scruffy beard and wears those heavy boots with suspenders and—”
“Stop.” Darla holds her hand up. “You’re giving me ideas.”
Helen crinkles her nose.
Katherine scoffs. “You would say that, Marci. You wish someone would come along and sweep you off your feet so you could finally stop going to that terrible speed dating night at the senior center.”
Darla, envisioning a stacked lumberjack, turns her attention back to me. “So this mystery man of yours. He is handsome, right?” She smirks, hoping the answer is yes.
“There’s no mystery man,” I lie. “Can we talk about what happened while I was gone? Did Marci ever decide if she was going to get her nipples pierced?”
Darla’s eyes light up. She slams her teacup down on the table with enough force to make Katherine jump, and leans in. “Oh no no no, sweetheart. You don’t get to redirect that easily.” She wags a finger at me. “We can talk about Marci’s nipples later. Right now, we are focused on you.”
Marci, who has been sipping her tea with an air of detached amusement, chimes in dryly, “I did. And they look fabulous.” She winks at me as my mouth drops open. “But we are talking about you, darling.”
Before I can respond all five of them go silent and stare behind me with matching expressions. Their mouths are open and their eyes are wide. I’m surprised they don’t drop their teacups. I groan. Please let him be wearing more than the gray sweatpants he thinks passes for appropriate clothing.
“Mornin’, Sunshine.” His voice is rough from sleep and thick with amusement. “Tried sleepin’ in. But woke up to cold sheets.”
I slowly turn around. He’s leaning one shoulder against the wall at the bottom of the stairs. Every inch of his muscled, tattooed torso is on full, mouthwatering display. He’s unfortunately wearing the sweatpants and they hang low on his hips accentuating his v-line. He stands there looking like some kind of deity.
Helen is now fanning herself aggressively. Darla is shamelessly staring, Katherine looks like she might faint, and Marci looks mildly amused like all of this is completely normal.
Esther makes a sound somewhere between a squeak and a moan before whispering loudly to Katherine, “Oh my God, he has tattoos!”
“Haven’t you ever heard of no shoes, no shirt, no service?” I glare at him, standing up, my hands on my hips.
“Course I have.” He smirks. “And yet, you’ve been servicin’ me just fine.” He pushes off the wall and strides forward, ignoring the looks from the fawning women around him. He stops in front of me, pulling me closer with a hand to my hip. He leans down to press a chaste, for him, kiss to my lips before standing upright and nodding to our audience. “Ladies.”
Esther blushes, Helen stops breathing, Katherine looks away quickly, Darla lets out an uncharacteristic giggle, and Marci has the audacity to fucking wink at him.
I groan, my face warm. “I made coffee, upstairs. It should still be hot.” I nod toward the stairs, my implications clear.
Katherine wheezes out, “Well, he certainly doesn’t look like the lumberjack Marci described.” Her face turns a brighter pink when Griffin raises an eyebrow at her.
He chuckles and shakes his head, sauntering up the stairs without an ounce of shame.
Helen grabs my arm the second he is out of earshot, whisper-yelling, “Seriphina Joseph! You did not just send him away!”
