“She’s really pretty,” Joaquín adds from my right side. He scoots over a little more, making up the room where the waiter pulled the extra chair. “I met her when he moved in.”
“She was there that day?”
I nod. “You were all heading inside after our hike, and she was in the front yard.”
“With her daughters,” Joaquín smiles. “They made him cookies.”
“Aww,” Angie coos, her face tilting and eyes softening. “So she couldn’t make it?”
I take another swallow of whiskey. “One of her daughters got sick today, and her sister, who was supposed to babysit, got sick right before we were supposed to leave.”
“Oh no,” she says, frowning.
I don’t know what causes me to say what I’m about to say, but I can’t stop it. “She doesn’t like me anyway.”
Joaquín rears back. “That can’t be true.” Bless my best friend for being confused that someone doesn’t find me likeable.
“No,” I sigh. “It is. I wasn’t a very good student when she was my professor. And she’s always, like, pulling away. Usually. She’s probably relieved she didn’t have to come here with me.”
“Don’t say that,” Angie says with a pinch between her brows. She turns fully in her seat to face me head-on and places her hand on my forearm. “What do you want with her? Something casual? Something serious?”
“I...” I have to stop myself because I don’t want to admit the truth. I’m not even sure what the truth is anymore. All I wanted was to sleep with her. Preferably many times in many positions on many surfaces. I wasn’t thinking about how it would all shake out, and I can’t tell my sister I was only thinking with my dick. But tonight has shown me whatI want is a lot more than living out my naughty professor fantasies.
“I just want her.” I shrug, and it hurts to admit that boiled-down fact, because I really don’t think she wants me the same way. “I think Dad was right. She and I are at different stages of life. I’m just this... young dude who didn’t pay attention in her class, who probably made her life harder because of it. And she’s annoyed that I live right next to her and she can’t do anything about it.”
“I think you’re being too hard on yourself,” Joaquín says. “I know I’m your best friend, but I truly mean it when I say you’re a very lovable person, Jonah. It sucks that she couldn’t come tonight, but I think she would have had a lovely evening with you.”
“You weren’t planning on taking your shirt off at this wedding like you did at mine, though, right?” Angie asks because, valid.
I roll my eyes. “No. Zay specifically told me to keep my clothes on.”
“Look at that.” Joaquín grins and throws his arms out wide. “You are capable of maturity! Renée will love that.”
“Yes,” Angie says. She points a finger at him like he’s onto something, then looks at me. “Baby brother, if you wanna date this woman, a single mother, you need to show her how dedicated and responsible you can be. Keep showing up. Don’t give her any reason to think you can’t handle your own life. Then,she might consider letting you into hers.”
The notion that I could be someone who has their life together enough to win over a woman like Renée is laughable and daunting. I don’t always think things through, and I have never been someone with much responsibility. Hell, just last year I lost my phone in a lake, jumped in, and asked my friend to call it so I could hear it ring under the water.
But my life feels different now that I’m a homeowner—now that I have animals that rely on me. Caring forthem hasn’t been too difficult; it’s been rather enjoyable. I love getting up in the morning and kissing their happy faces. I don’t even mind the chores that go along with having animals and all the property.
Maybe showing more responsibility is not so far-fetched.
It’s not unlike what I’m doing with my rugby team and building the training facility. The meeting I had with Raf and Joaquín the other day comes to mind—how doing things the right way often takes more time.
And I realize with new-found clarity, that Iwantto do things the right way for her.
“You think so?” I ask. “You think she would let me in?”
“I can’t know for sure,” Angie says. “She might be too badly burned to ever want something serious again. I don’t know her story. But if you want her, and you want more than—I’m assuming you just wanted to sleep with her?”
I nod. “But I think I want more than that now.”
“You’re sure?” she asks.
I suck in a deep breath. “Yes.”
“Then you need to show up for her without a dick agenda. Can you do that?”
I sit up a little straighter now. “Of course I can. I really do just want to spend time with her.” The words come tumbling out before I even register them.But they’re… true, I realize with complete clarity. I’ve been so focused on getting her underneath me, I didn’t notice my priorities shift. Don’t get me wrong, I want to know what her tits look like, but I also want to know what songs she listens to on repeat, and what problems keep her up at night.
